


Teddy's Version of Truth

by Between_lines



Category: Harry Potter and the Cursed Child - Thorne & Rowling
Genre: Coming Out, Coming of Age, Difficult Decisions, F/M, Hurt, M/M, Open Relationships, POV Scorpius Malfoy, Rejection, Scorpius (17) Teddy (25), homophobic classmates
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-11-23
Updated: 2019-03-03
Packaged: 2019-08-28 02:25:15
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 16
Words: 41,052
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16714786
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Between_lines/pseuds/Between_lines
Summary: Scorpius is secretly in love with Albus. As he finally gathers the courage to confess his feelings to his best friend during his seventh Hogwarts year, he painfully finds out that his love is one-sided. While he has trouble dealing with Albus’ rejection, Teddy Lupin, a 25-year-old Auror, shows him other ways to compensate the pain. Things get messy when Scorpius falls in love with the him, because he is in a serious relationship with Victoire Weasley and apparently just wants sex with him. But nothing is how it seems.





	1. Chapter 1

Sometimes nothing turns out as imagined. Scorpius thought everything was going to change after their time travel during their fourth year, but he was mistaken. Albus and he were still the weirdest Slytherins and mostly ignored by their classmates. Albus still didn’t like Rose very much and it turned out Scorpius did neither – at least not in the way he thought he liked her during his fourth year. Scorpius figured out he actually liked Albus the way he was supposed to like Rose. As soon as he realized and admitted his feelings to himself he thought it was much better keeping it a secret, because Albus got desperate about having a girlfriend. He was only talking about that one topic and nothing else seemed to count. Years passed, and they turned seventeen. It was their last year at Hogwarts and still Scorpius didn’t have the courage to confess his feelings to his best friend or anyone else. He decided to concentrate on studying. This was only making sense because their N.E.W.T’s year was even worse than OWL’s year. He was convinced, it was best that everything stayed as it was.  
It was shortly before winter break. Albus entered the Slytherin common room. Scorpius laid on the couch, reading as usual.  
Albus took off his scarf. “You know that girl Hannah? Do you think she noticed me?”  
Scorpius rolled his eyes behind his book. “Who?”  
“That blonde Ravenclaw girl from the fifth year.” Albus said as if Scorpius was supposed to know.  
“Sure.” He replied emotionless and continued reading.  
He was so sick of that endless dating topic, but he didn’t want to argue with Albus.  
“Anything wrong?” Albus noticed that Scorpius wasn’t acting as usual. Scorpius sat up.  
“Could you just stop asking me about your girls’ stuff. I really need to finish that book and write that essay for McGonagall. Are you already done with the paperwork?”  
Albus took a deep breath. “We’ve the whole holidays to finish that, remember?”  
Scorpius looked serious.  
“Scorp, you’re never having fun. Paperwork and books aren’t everything.” He handed over a letter to his friend as if this was the answer to everything. Scorpius read it.  
“Dear little brother,  
finally, your old enough to join Teddy’s annual New-Year-Post-Party. You have heard rumors about it and they are all true. Not many people are chosen to join us, so you better appreciate it… And of course, men only. We’ll meet 3rd January at 8 pm in Teddy’s flat in London. And Albus: be in good mood!  
– Your favorite brother in the world - James”  
Scorpius looked up questioning. Albus smiled. “I put you on the list. No complaining! You defiantly need some fun and you know I’m right.”  
“Well, but I don’t even know Teddy Lupin. I don’t think he wants me to join you.”  
Teddy Lupin was a legend at Hogwarts. He finished school one year before Albus and Scorpius began to attend the school and the list of things he apparently did during his school time was even longer than Harry’s list. At least these were the rumors that appeared after he finished.  
Albus took a deep breath. “Life is not happening in your books. Everyone said it’s fine that I’ll bring you. Come on, write you dad.”  
He gave him a feather, ink, and a piece of parchment. Albus looked at his best friend with a piercing glance. “And Scorp, when was the last time we did something together that had nothing to do with studying?!”  
‘Albus was right.’ Immediately thousand thoughts were running through his head. ‘Maybe there were going to be an opportunity to tell Albus his feelings. It was probably easier if they both were drunk.’  
Albus brought him back to reality. “Scorp?”  
“Emmm… yes. I’m joining you.” He smiled. 

Christmas Holidays came, and the more Scorpius thought about the upcoming party, the more nervous he got. Albus send a letter with the address. It was in the middle of London. Draco was having a business meeting, so Scorpius had to get to London by himself. He got dressed. He was supposed to wear Muggle cloth so that they could go out without catching too much attention if that was even possible. He wore tight black pants, sneakers, and a really expensive grey pullover. He used Floo Powder and got out a chimney some streets away from the street where he met Albus and James.  
On his way he passed a Muggle book store. He couldn’t resist and entered. He had never been outside the Magical London but he decided he liked the Muggle part of it as well. After a while he forgot about time.  
Albus entered the book store. “Here you are. I knew it!”  
Scorpius turned around.  
Albus pulled him into a tight hug. “You know what time it is? I was worried anything happened!”  
Scorpius first just stood there. He realized that Albus was truly worried. He hugged him as well. Every hug was bittersweet. Scorpius enjoyed those moments so much, but at the same time he tried hard not to give in to his feelings.  
“Sorry.” He almost whispered.  
Albus pulled away. He looked at Scorpius. He had only see him dressed like that a few times.  
“What is it?” Scorpius asked.  
“You look good.” Albus grinned.  
Scorpius blushed and quickly looked down.  
Albus didn’t seem to notice. “This night is going to be legendary.”  
“Come on. We’re already late.” James shouted from outside. 

They walked down the street and reached a house.  
“Teddy lives on the third floor.” James explained.  
The door opened and a boy with blue hair stood in front of them. Scorpius first impression was that he was a rebel. He was tall, good looking and fit. Several tattoos covered most parts of his arms. Scorpius blushed. Fortunately, he was standing behind Albus and James.  
“Hi I’m Teddy.” He reached out a hand to Scorpius.  
“Hi, I’m Scorpius. Thanks for the invitation.” He said shyly.  
They entered his flat.  
“This is my best friend Louis.” He pointed at a guy with blonde hair.  
“He helped me organize everything. He’s Victoire’s brother. That’s Fred and the twins are Lorcan and Lysander.” Teddy introduced everyone.  
Louis was giving everyone a glass filled with a dark liquid. “Teddy, you’re my best friend and I swear you’ll never forget that night.”  
Everyone drank up. Teddy’s hair shortly changed to violet and then back to blue.  
“First we’ll get something to eat.” Louise instructed.  
“You godfather Harry got us a table at the best dragon restaurant in London. We’re all invited.” He grinned. 

Scorpius felt nervous with so many people around. Within the restaurant, he sat down beside Albus and Teddy sat on his other side. They ordered.  
“Scorpius, don’t you like it here?” Teddy suddenly asked. Scorpius looked up.  
“No, it’s awesome. It’s just… Albus thought it would be a good idea to bring me, but I actually don’t go out that much.” He felt uncomfortable.  
“Albus told me a lot about you. He told me that you avoid parties and people. Don’t worry, you’re at the right place here with us.” He puts an arm around him. “You’ll see. We’re all going to have a lot of fun, but I’m a bit scared ... these nights always end bad.” He laughed. Scorpius heart beat much quicker by the unexpected touch.  
“What else did Albus tell you about me?!”  
Meanwhile Albus was caught up in a conversation with Fred, so he didn’t notice Scorpius asking about him.  
“Well, you love books and you want to become a librarian, you take school seriously. You’re his best friend and he won’t survive Hogwarts without you. That’s basically it.”  
“Wow. My life summed up in two sentences.” Scorpius sighed sarcastically.  
Teddy laughed. Scorpius was more relaxed talking to Teddy.  
Teddy was 25 and worked as Junior Auror in Harry’s department. He told some stories about catching criminals and Death Eaters. His hair changed whenever his mood changed. Scorpius had never met anyone who caught his interest beside Albus. Of course, he knew Teddy was in a relationship with Victoire Weasley, but he was fascinated by the fact that he was actually able to be attracted to someone else. 

They continued their walk through some bars. They ended in a small Muggle bar.  
“It’s easier to get drinks for you here.” Louis addressed the younger ones.  
And then they drank: Shots. Beer. Cocktail. Another shot.  
Scorpius went to the barkeeper to get another drink.  
“How about a break?” Teddy appeared next to him.  
“I can take one more.” Scorpius smirked.  
Although everything moved around him he decided he couldn’t say no to one more drink. He tripped and almost fell but Teddy reacted much quicker and caught him. Scorpius heart stopped but quickly started to beat again, pounding in his ears.  
“Let’s go outside for a moment and get some fresh air.” Teddy proposed.  
He linked arms with Scorpius and they made their way through the crowd.

Outside, Teddy lit a cigarette. Scorpius sank down on the ground.  
“Do you have fun?” Lupin asked.  
Scorpius grinned. “Oh yes.”  
“I think there is a girl in there who would like to talk to you. She stares at you the whole time. She’s really cute.”  
“Not interested. Thanks.” Scorpius definite.  
“Not your type?” Teddy asked further.  
Scorpius chuckled. “Defiantly not.”  
“Hmm… and what is your type?” He smirked and raised an eyebrow.  
Totally caught off guard, Scorpius looked up into his eyes.  
Teddy looked at him meaningful. His eyes told him: I KNOW.  
“Well,…” Scorpius quickly looked away.  
“Ah never mind, I was just curious.” Teddy obviously noticed that he hit a nerve.  
The door swung open and the music became louder for a blink of an eye. The others walked outside as well. Albus kneed down and laughed.  
“You’re so drunk, Scorp.” Albus hugged him. “You’re my best friend, you know that?” Albus said even more drunk.  
Scorpius lived for those little moments. He enjoyed having Albus close to him, but even now he couldn’t imagine telling Albus he was gay or that he was in love with him.  
“We’ll go back to Ted’s flat. I’ve some more drinks there.” Louis called out. 

Back in the flat James proposed a drinking game.  
“All right. First Ted and Louis will answer questions about their friendship. How good do you know your best friend?” He talked like a show master. Everyone laughed.  
Lorcan and Lysander were next. Albus and Scorpius were the last ones. No one could even stand straight anymore. First, they needed to answer some easy questions about each other but soon it turned out that Scorpius needed to get rid of the anger that Albus caused with his dating topic.  
“Albus, what do you think Scorpius finds most annoying about you?” Albus thought for a moment.  
“My charm?” He smiled drunk. Now everyone stared at Scorpius.  
“No, I hate when you bring up the whole dating topic. You’d take any girl just to say you have a girlfriend. And I hate it that you are so self-pity when you are rejected and you’re selfish. You’d always choose a date over time with me. Even if we planned something together for months.” Scorpius replied annoyed.  
Albus wasn’t happy about Scorpius serious answer. James could read his brother’s mind and quickly continued the game.  
After some more questions Lorcan took over: “Albus, do you think Scorpius fancies boys or girls?” Lorcan smirked.  
Teddy went over and took him aside. “You can’t ask that.” He looked at him meaningful.  
“Too late.” He laughed.  
“Girls, of course. What a silly question.” Albus said convinced.  
Scorpius heart stopped. ‘It’s just a game. I can lie.’ He thought. Albus turned around and looked him into the eye.  
“Scorp, answer already.”  
Scorpius swallowed hard. Everyone stared at him and silence filled the room.  
“You don’t have to answer.” Teddy said calming.  
“No answer, is an answer!” Lorcan laughed.  
Teddy hit him on his shoulder. “Stop it already you idiot!”  
“Scorp, will you please just tell them you fancy girls?!” Albus couldn’t understand why he wouldn’t say it aloud.  
“I…” ‘I must lie. Just lie.’ Scorpius tried to convince his mouth to do what his mind told him. He nervously pulled on his sleeves. That secret had eaten him up from inside for such a long time. He couldn’t hide any longer.  
“I don’t like girls… well, not that way. I fancy boys.” This couldn’t have gone worse. Scorpius looked down ashamed.  
“So, you’re gay.” Lorcan summed it up as if the others needed an explanation.  
“It’s enough!” James and Teddy shouted almost together.  
Lorcan didn’t see what he could have done wrong. “Wasn’t that obvious?”  
His brother Lysander pressed a hand on his forehead. “Can’t believe we’re related.”  
“Better you leave now.” Louis said clearly.  
Albus stood there rooted to the ground, as the others discussed. ‘Why was no one surprised? Why was it obvious for Lorcan? He just met him today.’ He was totally puzzled.  
Meanwhile the twins left. “Shut up and go.” Lysander pushed his brother out of the door. “Sorry guys.” He said apologizing for his twin.  
Scorpius couldn’t read Albus’ mind.  
“Come on, sit down.” Teddy put an arm around Scorpius and gave him a glass of water. “You sure didn’t want to come out that way.”  
Scorpius didn’t say a word.  
“You know, we’re totally fine with it. You don’t have to feel bad.” James said. Louis agreed.  
Scorpius looked up and smiled sadly. He looked over to Albus who still didn’t seem to understand one word. He didn’t move.  
“Albus? Don’t you want to say anything?” James made a gesture like he expected something from his brother.  
“Would you like to talk alone?” Teddy asked.  
Scorpius looked at Albus. “Why would we want to talk alone? Scorpius isn’t obviously making a difference between us. Well we’re just friends for almost seven years and you met them today but why should you tell me that you’re gay?”  
“Albus!” James started but his brother interrupted him.  
“I can’t believe that you didn’t tell me. I thought we were friends.” Albus got up in rage and took his jacket.  
Scorpius eyes filled with tears. Albus slammed the door behind him as he left.  
“James, you, Louis and Fred should probably go and search for him. He’s drunk, and it just started to snow.”  
James nodded, and they left together. 

Teddy looked at Scorpius. They were alone.  
“I’m sorry I crashed your party.” Scorpius said trying to hold back his tears.  
“Scorpius, you’re a great boy. I am sorry this idiot made you think you must come out in front of everyone. Don’t worry everything will be all right. Albus just wasn’t prepared for that. He’s still your best friend.”  
As he said that, Scorpius couldn’t hold back. He clenched his teeth and tried to suppress his sobs. He pressed a hand on his eyes. Teddy suddenly put his arm around him and pulled him into a hug. Scorpius felt awfully vulnerable but leaned into the hug.  
“You’ll see. Everything is going to be fine.” Teddy said comforting.  
It took some time until he calmed down. Scorpius whipped away some tears. It was all too much to take and it was even worse that he was so drunk that everything moved around him.  
“You should get some rest. I fear our guest room is taken, but you can sleep in my bed.” Teddy said kindly.  
“Ehhh… it’s fine. I’ll go home.” Scorpius blushed.  
“No way. I really don’t want you to wander around after all what happened…” He paused and observed him. “…especially not in your state. I know you were supposed to stay with Albus and James, but they won’t probably go home either…” Teddy guessed.  
“All right.”  
“Here.” Teddy handed him a glass with water. Then he got up. Scorpius drank up. He intended to follow him but stumbled backwards. Teddy pulled him back up on his arm and immediately pulled him closer to support him. Scorpius needed to admit that he wasn’t in the state to get far by himself. Teddy placed him on his bed. Scorpius thankfully laid down and closed his eyes.  
“Try that.” Teddy threw a shirt over and it landed on Scorpius’ face. He didn’t react.  
“Come on.” He walked over and sat him up right again.  
“Lift your arms.” He said softly and pulled off his pullover and shirt. Then he slipped the borrowed T-Shirt over. Normally it would have driven Scorpius totally insane to be stripped by another man, but the combination of alcohol and Teddy’s calmness made him relax. Teddy laid him back down and took off his shoes. Then he opened the button of Scorpius jeans. Even if Scorpius was half asleep and almost unconscious, his hand automatically shot down.  
“Don’t.” He mumbled, stopping Teddy’s hand from unbuttoning his pants.  
“Sorry. I didn’t mean to make you feel uncomfortable, but you have nothing to change, so you may want to get out of your pants.” Teddy said amused.  
“Hmmm….” Scorpius let go and Teddy pulled down his really tight pants, so that he could sleep in his boxers. Then he covered him with a blanket.  
“Where’s Albus?” Scorpius asked hardly understandable.  
“He didn’t come back yet. … But that doesn’t mean you’re alone.” Teddy said but Scorpius had already fallen asleep.

Scorpius woke by a noise and got up. Albus and James were in the bathroom, discussing while Albus obviously threw up. Scorpius waited in front of the bathroom door, so that no one could see him.  
After a while, Albus leaned against the wall. “It’s all his fault.”  
“Who’s?” James asked surprised.  
“Scorpius, of course. I should have never brought him with me.”  
“Why? Because he came out? You really should do better as his best friend.” James said reproachful.  
“Are you on his side?” Albus asked shocked.  
“Albus, there is no side. You should get some rest. You’re not in the state to discuss things like that.” James said angry.  
“I hate him!” Albus suddenly said.  
Scorpius made several steps back. He heard enough. He was deeply hurt but didn’t want neither James nor Albus to know that he heard their conversation.  
James first didn’t know what to say. He shook his head. “He’s your best friend. Nothing changes that. He’s always there for you and he always was, especially in school when you had no one else who wanted to be friends with you. You’ll soon have no one left.” He slammed the door behind him.  
Scorpius was too tired to think about what happened or how he was supposed to continue with his life. On top, he probably needed to tell his father as soon as he came home. He didn’t want to imagine this conversation. He wished that Albus at least supported him, but he was too selfish to think about his feelings for once. Right now, Scorpius didn’t want to see or hear anything from his best friend. 

 

The next morning Scorpius woke up. Where was he?... Right… he remembered last night’s events and immediately whished he wouldn’t. He felt miserably - not only because of his hangover also because Albus words were still echoing in his head. He closed his eyes and pressed his head into the pillow. That was Teddy’s smell. He remembered that Teddy undressed him. Or did he just dream that? Next to his bed, he found a glass with an orange liquid. A note floated beside it. There was written DRINK ME. When did Teddy come in last night? He drank up but decided to leave before Albus woke up, so he didn’t have to talk to him. He quietly left his room and grabbed his jacket.  
“Good morning.” Teddy caught him, a cup of coffee in his hand.  
“Morning.” Scorpius looked down and took his jacket. “Thanks for letting me stay tonight. I should better leave.” Scorpius said ashamed.  
“Did you drink my special hangover cocktail?” Teddy smirked. Scorpius nodded. “It’ll soon reveal its effect. How about you take a shower and we’ll have breakfast together?”  
“I would like that but honestly I don’t want to see Albus.”  
“Belief me, he won’t wake up till noon.” Teddy made a move with his head, signalizing he should stay.  
Scorpius smiled. He hesitated but took off his jacket again. 

After showering he did feel better.  
James and Teddy waited at the breakfast table. They ate breakfast and talked about some news that were written in the Daily Prophet.  
James looked over to Albus who was still sleeping on the couch. “I’ve no idea how to get him home. Mom will kill me.” James sighed.  
“I think I should go.” Scorpius got up. “Thank you for everything.”  
Teddy got up as well. “Are you going to tell your family?” He asked while Scorpius put on his scarf.  
“I don’t have family. It’s just my dad.” He paused. “We don’t get along too well.” He looked down.  
“You should tell him. It’s better he hears it from you.” Teddy hugged Scorpius as goodbye.  
“Listen, if you don’t know where to go, you can always stay here.”  
Scorpius smiled. “Thank you.” He stepped out to the streets of London.


	2. Chapter 2

Teddy and Victoire sat together at the dinner table. Suddenly there was a soft knock at the door.   
“Have you invited anyone tonight?” Victoire asked.   
Teddy shook his head and went over to the door. To his surprise, it was Scorpius.   
“Hi, I know it’s late, but you said I could come here if … well if anything happens and I couldn’t think of another place to go. I know it’s not the right time…” He paused, realizing that he was talking way too fast to probably understand one word. “Sorry, that was a bad idea. I should go.” Scorpius now felt really stupid and was about to turn around as Teddy called after him. “Scorpius, wait. I meant what I said. Of course, you can stay here. Please come in.”   
Scorpius stopped and went back to the door. “Thanks.” He almost whispered and entered gladly.   
“Who’s there, Teddy?” Victoire came to the door.   
“That’s Scorpius. I told you about him. He doesn’t know where to stay.”   
Victoire smiled kindly. “Hello, I’m Victoire. Nice to meet you. We’re having dinner. You can join us…” Suddenly she noticed that Scorpius’ eye was colored darkly blue and wound covered his check. “Oh, you’re hurt.” She said shocked. “I’ll get you some ice.” She left to the kitchen.   
“Let me see.” Teddy said shocked as well. He reached out his hand to examine Scorpius’ wound, but he turned his head away.   
“Scorp, what happened?” He asked concerned.   
Scorpius wanted to tell him, but he couldn’t. Tears streamed down his face. Teddy went over and hugged him. Meanwhile Victoire came back with a small package of ice. She looked concerned at her boyfriend. She went over and placed a hand on Scorpius’ shoulder. “Everything will be ok.”   
After some time, they went over to the Livingroom.   
“Can I please look at your wound?” Teddy asked. Scorpius nodded. He carefully touched his cheek. “I don’t think it needs to be stitched.” He took the ice and pressed it onto the wound. Scorpius took it and their hands touched for a heartbeat.   
Victoire made him a cup of tea and sat down as well. “Of course, you can stay until Hogwarts starts again.” She smiled.   
“But you just came back from her business trip. Don’t you want to be alone?” Scorpius didn’t want to be a burden.   
Victoire laughed. “I’m going to have time alone with him my whole life.” She joked. “We’re always happy about company.” She wanted to make Scorpius feel welcomed. It worked. “I’m going to prepare the guest room.” Victoire got up and left, so that both boys could talk.   
“She is really kind.” Scorpius said. Teddy smiled warmly. “Yes, she is.” He paused. 

“May I ask what happened?”   
Scorpius looked down. “I told my dad today…” He didn’t know how to begin.   
“He never really has time. He has a lot of business going on but today he was home and I told him that I had something important to tell him. As usual he didn’t listen, and I shouted at him to get his attention. I never did that before. He didn’t say anything, and I did neither. After some time, he said that he didn’t have much time left and that I should already say what I wanted to tell him. But I couldn’t, and he became angry and he shouted at me and under the pressure I told him that I’m gay. He first said nothing, but he looked really disappointed and I don’t know … kind of angry… I mean angrier than he already was. He said, he had no time for something ridiculous like that and that I should pull myself together so that no one notices. He said, he worked hard for his reputation in society and that he wouldn’t allow me to destroy all he built up within one day.” He quickly whipped away some tears.   
“And the wound?” Teddy asked.   
“I was in rage and told him that mom would have never said something like that and that I wished that she was here instead of him. You must know that we never talked about my mother since she died when I was thirteen. I had never seen my father that mad. He told me not to talk about my mother, but I didn’t stop. I said something like she was too kind to be together with him and then he slapped me in the face. He never did that before. I guess I deserved that.” He pressed the ice harder against his face and looked at the opposite site.   
“Scorpius, you defiantly do not deserve that. Your father made a mistake. He was wrong. I’m sorry it turned out like that. But even if you can’t see it now, things will be better.”   
“I don’t have anything left. My father hates me. My best friend hates me, and I can’t go home.”   
“Well, you have us and besides I don’t think Albus hates you.” Teddy said calming.   
Scorpius kept quiet.  
Teddy sighed. He looked at Victoire searching for help. He knew Scorpius’ situation looked bad and he didn’t know what to say.   
Victoire sat down beside Scorpius. “You know sometimes it has to get worse before it can get better. Teddy told me you’re pretty good in school. There is a life after Hogwarts and you’re almost finished. It’s only six months. You find a job, you move out and start a completely new life. I promise you’ll like that freedom.” She smiled.   
Scorpius looked up. ‘She was right. It couldn’t get worse, so he just had to focus on his future.’ “Thank you.” He said honestly. 

 

Meanwhile at the Potter’s house:  
It was late. The Potter’s sat together in the living room except for Albus who locked himself in his room. Suddenly there was a loud knock at the door. Harry looked up from his paper.   
“Who might that be at such a time?” Ginny asked her husband. Harry got up. James had a bad feeling and followed him.   
Harry opened. “Good evening Draco.” He said surprised. “What are you doing here?”   
James hid behind the kitchen door.   
“I have no time for that. I want to take my son home. I know he’s here.” Draco said loudly.   
“I am sorry, but he isn’t. Did anything happen?” Harry asked confused.   
“That’s none of your business, Potter. He’s always with your son, so he can only be here!” Draco said with waning patience.   
“How about you come in and I ask Albus if he knows where Scorpius might be.” Draco entered unwillingly.   
“Albus, could you please come down?” Harry called.   
Ginny came as well, looking questioning at Harry. “Draco searches his son.” He summed it up.   
Albus came down the stairs. “What is it, dad?” He asked annoyed.   
“Draco is here. He searches for Scorpius. He thinks he might be with you.” Harry explained.   
“Well …he isn’t.” Immediately Albus expression revealed concern.  
“Where is he?” Draco interrupted, addressing Albus.   
“I ..I don’t know.” Albus said slightly panicked.   
“How about we all calm down. Draco, Scorpius isn’t here. But if you can’t find him, I can inform the ministry to search for him.”   
Draco thought for a moment. “No. I can handle that on my own.” He turned around and left. 

James ran to the garden door to catch him before he could apperate. “Mr. Malfoy” He called after him.   
Draco stopped. “What did happen?” James asked reproachful.   
Draco looked surprised. “I don’t think I own you any explanations.”   
“I know Scorpius, at least well enough, to know that he wouldn’t run off without a good reason.”   
Draco looked serious. “Do you know where my son is?” He said even more serious.   
James didn’t know what was the right thing to do. He decided to lie. “No. I don’t know, but I am Scorpius’s friend and maybe if you tell me what happened I might have an idea.” James knew that this could be understood as provocation.   
“If something comes to your mind, you might want to inform me, Mr. Potter.” Draco said cold and vanished into the night. 

James went back into the house. Harry, Ginny and Albus were discussing in the living room.   
“I told you I don’t know anything.” Albus said inpatient.   
Harry sighed. “Fine. You can go back to your room.”   
Albus went up the stairs and looked meaningful at James. He followed him. Albus quickly pulled him into his room and shut the door.  
“James, you need to help me. I messed it up…”  
“Oh yes.” James nodded.  
“I need to find him. Please help me!” Albus panicked.   
James went over and put his hands on Albus’ arms. “Calm down. I’m sure he’s fine. We’ll find him.”

Albus and James went down in the middle of the night. Everyone was sleeping already. They went over to the chimney and used a spell to reach Teddy and Vicci.   
“Teddy? Victoire? Are you there?” James asked out of the flames.   
Both sleepy sat down in front of their chimney at home.   
“James, what happened?” Victoire asked.   
“Mr. Malfoy was here. He searches for Scorpius. I really hope, he’s with you two.”   
“He is here. Don’t worry. We’re taking care of him. It’s probably better if Scorpius explains what happened.” Teddy answered. “He really needs you, Albus. You must pull yourself together. You do know quiet well that Scorpius didn’t want to hurt you by coming out in front of everyone. I think he just didn’t tell you before to protect your friendship. Can you handle it?”  
“Teddy, can I please come over! I really need to apologize! I…”  
“Let Scorpius rest for now. How about we meet in Diagon Alley tomorrow?” Victoire said diplomatically.   
“He won’t ever talk to me after what happened.” Albus hated himself for how things turned out and he knew it was all his fault.  
“You made a mistake, Al. Scorpius doesn’t seem to be the type who’ll be resentful.” Victoire said calming.  
James squeezed Albus’s shoulder.  
Albus just nodded.

Meanwhile Scorpius laid awake in his bed. He couldn’t believe he was that lucky staying with Teddy and Victoire. He was deeply lost in his thoughts as the door slowly swung open and Teddy entered the room. He sat down at the edge of Scorpius’ bed. Scorpius could hear his heart pounding in his ears. He tried to concentrate on just regulating his breathing. Teddy touched his wounded cheek without saying a word. He slowly leaned down and focused him with dark eyes. Scorpius had no idea what to do. He automatically closed his eyes and before he could think of anything to, he felt Teddy’s lips on his own. Their lips touched softly. Scorpius couldn’t move, he just concentrated on Teddy’s lips and his tongue which was now in his mouth. Kissing got more intense. Suddenly Teddy slipped his hand under Scorpius shirt. Scorpius silently moaned. He didn’t even try to resist. He sat up and buried his hands in his now darkly colored hair. His hair was as dark and messy as Albus’. Teddy was defiantly longing for more and Scorpius won’t have the willpower to stop him. He put much more desire into his movements and kissed down his neck. Scorpius was really hard by now. Scorpius moaned louder, signalizing he wanted more. “Teddy please.” He begged. Teddy smirked. His hand slowly reached inside the other boy’s pants… 

Then Scorpius woke up.

He realized it was just a dream and that he came all in his boxers. ‘Fuck!’ 

He quietly got up and slipped into the bathroom, begging neither Teddy nor Victoire were about to wake up. He took a cold shower still recalling the images of his dream. It felt so real. Scorpius knew he had a crush on Teddy ever since he met him, but he also knew that his feelings were definitely one sided.   
Suddenly a knock brought him back to reality. “Scorpius, are you ok?” Victoire’s voice asked worried.   
“Ehh… yes… I just… I’m fine! You can go back to bed.” He didn’t know what to say.   
Victoire hesitated. “May I come in?”   
Scorpius got out of the shower and wrapped a towel around his waist. He opened the door. He knew that she wouldn’t go back to bed that easily, at least not until she made sure he was fine.   
Victoire entered. “Why are you taking a shower in the middle of the night?” She asked skeptically.   
Scorpius blushed. “Sorry, I just couldn’t sleep.”   
She didn’t seem to buy it. “You know you can tell me anything. Or do you want me to get Teddy?” She asked.   
“NO! No.” Scorpius blushed even harder.   
Scorpius could read that Victoire tried hard to figure out why he was obviously lying. She looked at the sink in which Scorpius had thrown his pants.   
She pressed her lips together to suppress a smirked. “I’ll get you a clean one. You can throw your pants in the clothes basket. I need to do the laundry tomorrow anyway.” She said by the way and left the bathroom.   
Scorpius was glad, she wasn’t angry, but he felt ashamed. That never happened before. He never had a comparable dream.   
Victoire gave him clean boxers from Teddy and left with a smile. “Good night, Scorpius.” 

The next morning Scorpius got up. Victoire and Teddy were having breakfast. Scorpius joined them.   
“Morning” He mumbled, thinking of last night’s events he looked at the floor. He was sure she told Teddy about it.   
“How did you sleep?” Teddy asked.   
Scorpius blushed. “What?” He looked up.   
“Could you sleep? I mean after all that happened yesterday. It was sure much to take.”   
Scorpius felt relieved that Teddy obviously didn’t know about last night’s incident. “Yes.” Scorpius drank some of his tea, hoping Teddy wouldn’t ask further.   
“Do you want to go to Diagon Alley with Teddy today?” Victoire asked to change the topic. “He needs some stuff.”   
“It will be fun, and you really need some fun right now.” Teddy ginned.  
Scorpius mood immediately got better.

To Scorpius surprise, he enjoyed the day with Teddy a lot. They had fun. Scorpius read a book as he heard Teddy say hello to someone outside. From within the shop he saw Albus and James talking to Teddy.   
‘Fuck! I can’t go out there. No, I must face him sooner or later. Don’t panic. Just don’t show any emotions to Albus.’ Scorpius thought.  
He stepped outside with pretended self-confidence. The situation overstrained Scorpius. Teddy put an arm around Scorpius. “Scorpius stays with us at the moment. Long story.”   
“Teddy, can I talk to you for a moment?” James made a move with his head and pulled him, so that Albus and Scorpius were left alone.   
“What happened to your eye?” Albus asked shocked as he saw Scorpius wound.   
“None of your business, Albus.” Albus didn’t expect such an answer.   
“So, you’re staying with Teddy and Victoire now?”   
“Yes.” Scorpius said shortly. “You know. I’ll just wait for Teddy over there.” Scorpius turned around.   
“Scorpius!” Albus called after him. “Look, I am sorry… I really am.”   
Scorpius stopped but didn’t turn around. He knew Albus could never admit if he did anything wrong. He barely apologized for anything.   
“Can we please talk?” Albus asked desperately.  
Scorpius didn’t answer.  
“Please, Scorp.” Albus begged.   
Scorpius took a deep breath. He saw Albus was trying. “All right.” Scorpius said with some more emotions in his voice.   
Teddy and James came over. “You need some time to talk?” He asked both boys at the same time.   
“Yeah...” Scorpius answered.   
“All right. I’ll pick you up later.” Teddy said squeezing his shoulder.

Albus and Scorpius walked down a small side street where they could escape the crowd.  
Scorpius didn’t say anything. Albus looked at him.   
“Scorp, first of all, I wanted to apologize. I didn’t act like a friend at all and I hate myself for not being there for you when you needed me. I’m so, so sorry.”  
“Do you hate me because I’m gay?” Scorpius suddenly asked.  
Albus stopped abruptly. “I don’t hate you.” Albus said with a cracked voice.  
“I heard you that night. I listened to you and James and you said you hate me.”   
Albus was shocked he heard that. He looked down ashamed. “I do not hate you. I could never hate you.”   
“Why did you say it that night?”   
“I needed someone I could blame because I felt that awful from all the alcohol. I guess it was easier to blame you.” He paused. “I’m not proud of that… of nothing I did lately.”   
“So, is it a problem for you? Please be honest now, because if you can’t handle it, you need to tell me now. If you continue acting like that, I will quit our friendship today.”   
Scorpius was afraid of Albus answer, but he couldn’t take Albus behavior.   
Albus stared at him as he was just being hit right in his face. “It honestly doesn’t matter to me who you like or who you fall in love with. I’ll always be your best friend and it’d kill me if anything would change between us. I know I was the worst friend. Scorp, you are my best friend and I want to do better. I hope you give me a second chance.” Albus mumbled. He wasn’t sure if Scorpius were ready to forgive him.   
“Yeah… fine.” Scorpius didn’t want to seem weak in front of Albus, but he already felt his eyes burning. Before he could turn away from Albus, he was pulled into a tight hug.  
“Merlin, Scorp. You can still be yourself when you’re with me. I know you better than anyone else. Nothing changed.”   
It was like Albus could read his mind. Scorpius leaned into the hug and buried his face in Albus’ shoulder.   
“Friends?” He asked into Albus’ shoulder.  
“Always.” Albus smiled warmly.  
“Now tell me what happened to your eye.” Albus insisted.  
Scorpius told him the whole story.  
“You know, you can stay with us, if you want.” Albus said.  
“Thanks, but I think I want to stay here in London.”   
Albus put an arm around his shoulder.  
“All right. But write me.”  
“Sure….ehhh Albus, could we keep it between you and me? I really don’t need Hogwarts to know about it.”  
“I defiantly understand that. Don’t worry I won’t tell.” Albus smiled.

As they went back to Diagon Alley, Teddy and James already waited for them.  
“We’re going out. It’s your last weekend before school starts again. No complaining.” James smirked.  
“If any of them would complain about that.” Teddy laughed.   
“We meet at nine pm at Teddy’s.” James said.  
Teddy and Scorpius waved good bye to Albus and James.

 

“How was your talk?” Teddy asked.  
“Albus was a real friend.” Scorpius smiled and told him about their conversation.  
“I’m glad. Scorp, you know… we’re happy that you stay with us, but you probably can’t avoid talking to your father before Hogwarts starts again.” Teddy explained.  
Scorpius looked down. He didn’t want to talk or even think about his father.   
“How about we get some cake. I know you love sweets.” Teddy proposed.   
Scorpius didn’t know how Teddy did it, but he soon felt much better and he didn’t have to think about the upcoming confrontation.

They entered a café. They were talking about a lot of things.   
“May I ask you something?”   
“Sure, anything.” Scorpius said surprised.   
“Since when did you realize that you’re gay?”   
Scorpius hesitated. “Since my fourth year.”   
“But why did you never tell anyone? Not even Albus?”   
Scorpius looked down and blushed hard.   
“Emmm…” He decided he could tell him. “After Albus and I used the time turner, I was stuck in a reality where Albus didn’t exist. I guess that opened my eyes. I fell in love with him. There was a time when I wanted to tell him, but he just talked about getting a girlfriend and I decided to keep it a secret.” Scorpius sounded sad. “I guess after his reaction at the party it was the right decision.   
“Do you want to tell him now?”   
Scorpius poked in his cake. “I don’t know. Do you think I should tell him?”   
“I think you should tell him, otherwise you’ll always ask yourself how he would have reacted. If he says he doesn’t like you that way, you can at least move on.”   
Scorpius smiled by that answer. It didn’t sound too bad, but there was one more problem:  
“What if he ends our friendship when I confess my feelings.” This question bothered him a long time.   
“Then he would be really stupid.” Teddy said definite.


	3. Chapter 3

It was the last weekend before Hogwarts started again. Scorpius expected much from the upcoming talk with Albus. He desperately wanted to confess his feelings. After he met Albus in the Diagon Alley he was sure he would have the guts.   
At night he found himself in the middle of London with Teddy, Vicci and Louis. Albus and James turned around a corner.   
“Hi Scorpius, what’s up?” Albus hugged him.   
“I’m fine.” Scorpius lied and tried to smile. 

After they found a club, everyone was soon dancing and drinking.   
Victoire walked over to Scorpius and offered him her hand. “Hey roommate, wanna dance?” She smirked.   
Scorpius expression revealed everything about him.  
“Well, you can’t say no.” Victoire cut him off before he refused.  
Scorpius smiled and took her hand. They danced.   
“It’s really nice having you here. Teddy likes you a lot.” She said while dancing. “Teddy and I are a couple since my sixth Hogwarts year and sometimes it gets pretty boring. Well I’m on business trips a lot and I do meet new people, but with you it’s something different. We usually don’t let people in our lives easily… well I guess what I want to say is, that it can be a good thing. I remember what I appreciate about Teddy when he’s with you… Ah… sorry. I’m getting sentimental.” She chuckled drunk.   
Scorpius looked at her, touched, not really knowing what to say.   
Suddenly Teddy appeared beside her. “May I take over?”   
“What? I just got ONE dance with you and now that Scorpius is on the dancefloor I’m forgotten??” She joked.   
Teddy looked at her meaningful.   
“He’s all yours.” She kissed him and left the two alone.   
Teddy took Scorpius hand and continued dancing rather slowly than to the rhythm of the music.   
Scorpius blushed hard. What did just happen? Was he really dancing with Teddy Lupin right now?  
Some guests looked at them. “Teddy, I’d rather prefer not to dance…” Scorpius felt really uncomfortable.   
“But you just danced with Vicci.” He raised an eyebrow.   
Scorpius looked down and then at the people around them.  
“Look at me.” Teddy suddenly said. Scorpius looked up. “There is no need to feel uncomfortable. This is not the tiny universe of Hogwarts. People are pretty open minded here.” He said calming. “Try to enjoy it.” He smiled warmly.   
Scorpius heart felt like it was beating out of his chest. Teddy led him while dancing. He pulled him closer and Scorpius forgot about his surroundings. They were lost in the music.   
“Isn’t that bad, is it?” Teddy grinned.   
“I guess not.” Scorpius said quiet. “I doubt that I’ll ever have a relationship that is comparable to yours.”   
“Don’t be ridiculous. I know at least five guys who’d kill for a date with you, if I told them about you. I already told you Hogwarts is not representative.” It made Scorpius smile.  
“Honestly Scorp, you’re barely comparable to anyone I’ve met. And you don’t act like seventeen… and on top you’re handsome.” He added.   
Scorpius looked at Teddy. Was he flirting? No way. The song faded out. Teddy hugged him. “Don’t always think so much.” He whispered into his ear and shortly kissed him on his head. He took his hand pulled Scorpius with him. “Come on, let’s get a drink.” 

After some hours, Scorpius sat down at the bar, ordering another cocktail. Suddenly a young, attractive man came over to Scorpius.   
“Excuse me. Are you Scorpius Malfoy?”   
The blonde boy looked up. “Yes.” He said surprised.   
The men reached out his hand. “My name is Victor Crockford. I am working for the biggest publisher in London and we’re always searching for young colleagues who love books. I’m a friend of Teddy’s. He just told me about you and from what I’ve heard you’d perfectly fit into our company. Is it ok, if I sit down and tell you something about my work?”   
Scorpius couldn’t believe it. “Sure.” He said euphoric.   
They talked about some new books they loved and hated.   
“I know you’d like to become a librarian but you’ve much more opportunities to read, rate and comment unpublished books working with us. How about an internship?”   
“That would be great. I’d love to.” Scorpius smiled.   
“Here is my business card.” He gave it to Scorpius but didn’t let go. “And if you decide not to work with us, you can write me anyway.” He smirked and let go of the card.   
Scorpius blushed but nodded shyly. “Thanks.” 

Time passed. Scorpius watched Albus from across the room. He always thought that Albus was handsome, but maybe it was the combination of light, the vibes of music and the expression in his dark green eyes, that made him feel totally lost. At the same time, he gathered the confidence to confess his feelings to Albus. He couldn’t wait much longer. It would kill him if he did.   
“Albus, can we talk?” Scorpius asked.  
“Sure? Wanna go outside?” Albus proposed, because it was way too loud to have a conversation.  
Scorpius nodded.  
“I really can’t take seeing you flirting. You’ll probably get a boyfriend as soon as you start dating.” Albus sighed. “You could at least give me some advices.” He chuckled.   
Scorpius didn’t laugh.   
Outside stood some people. Some chatting, some kissing, some smoking.   
“What’s wrong Scorp?” Albus asked worried as he saw his friend’s expression.  
Scorpius bit his lip. The fresh air hit him unexpected. Everything was moving around him but if he didn’t confess his feelings to Albus now, he won’t ever do it.  
He stepped forward and pressed Albus against a brick wall. He hugged him and their cheeks pressed together, so that Scorpius didn’t have to face Albus. His mouth was on his ear. Albus hugged him back. Albus didn’t say anything. He obviously waited for Scorpius to begin the conversation but that caused him much more effort than he first thought. That was the hardest thing Scorpius ever had to bring himself to:   
“Albus, I really don’t know how to begin… I’ve known for such a long time that I’m attracted to guys and there is a reason I didn’t tell you.”  
Albus body tensed and he froze in that position.  
Scorpius closed his eyes. He was so scared of Albus reaction.  
“I like you Albus. You are awesome. I mean …”  
“No…” Albus whispered, obviously already knowing where that conversation was leading.  
Scorpius ignored it. He needed to get rid of it. That weight loaded too long on his shoulders.   
“… you are the person I trust most, and we spend so much time together. We’ve gone through thick and thin. I wanted to tell you that for such a long time… “  
“Don’t.” Albus whispered and let his arms fall beside his body.   
“I’ve fallen in love with you.”

-Silence-

Every second felt like an eternity.   
Albus looked down, not facing Scorpius.  
“Why, why did you say that?” Albus asked kind of desperate and what was worse it sounded like an accusation.   
“I can’t change how I feel and I really need to know…”  
“I don’t…” Albus cut him off.   
“Albus… please…” Scorpius started. His lips were on Albus’ cheek. How could anyone take such feeling? Scorpius thought. He needed to be close to him. He needed more. He needed to kiss him.  
“I’m not feeling the same.” He said monotone.   
Albus struggled and got himself out of Scorpius grip.   
“I wanna go home.” He added, still facing the ground while he made his way straight inside.

Scorpius sank down on a bench. He didn’t even feel cold anymore. He just felt panic rose within him. He had destroyed their friendship for something he actually already knew but he wouldn’t have expected it to hurt that badly. He had never felt anything comparable. He wished he wouldn’t feel anything at all. What was he supposed to do?   
Meanwhile it had started to rain. Scorpius had no idea how long he sat there until Teddy appeared next to him. He carried his jacket and to his dismay, Albus and James followed him. Scorpius looked up and he felt like he had done something terribly wrong. While Teddy handed him his jacket, Albus broke the silence, but still didn’t look at him at all.  
“We’re leaving. We’ll see us in school.” He said quiet and then left.   
James looked apologizing at Teddy. “Bye Scorpius.” He said and followed his younger brother.


	4. Chapter 4

“We should go home, come on.” Teddy put an arm around Scorpius. They went to an underground station in silence. Teddy refused to apperate when he was drunk, and his flat was only some stations away from the center.  
As they reached Teddy’s flat, Scorpius couldn’t explain it to himself, but he felt safe. Just then he noticed how frozen he was. Teddy carried some blankets to the guest room. Still, they didn’t talk. Scorpius covered up his body, shaking like hell. He closed his eyes and turned his back to Teddy. Teddy sat down behind him and rested a hand on his covered shoulder.   
“Do you want me to sleep here tonight?” Teddy asked.  
What??? Scorpius thought, and his heart started to pound faster.   
He already was overburdened by the chaos in his head. How could he ask that? THAT wasn’t the best idea. Even imagining Teddy’s fit body pressed against his own and his strong arms around him, drove him insane. It wasn’t like he didn’t want that, but he was too hurt to let anyone get close to him right know. He shook his head.   
“All right. Vic and Louis are still out partying. Vic will sleep at her parents’ house cause she has family matters tomorrow. So, if you need anything, just knock on my door.” Teddy said and let his hand slide down Scorpius’ arm.  
Of course, Scorpius couldn’t sleep. He was busy thinking about how he was supposed to fix things with Albus, but there was another thought: The thought of sharing a bed with Teddy. He was curious how that would be like and he felt like he won’t get another chance if he doesn’t take it tonight. And anyway, Teddy wasn’t intending to … well even the idea was so absurd that Scorpius didn’t think it trough. He simply was a good friend. And that was exactly what he needed right now.  
He got up and softly knocked on Teddy’s door. He didn’t get an answer. He hesitated but quietly pushed down the door handle. He carefully closed the door behind him and now stood in front of Teddy’s bed. He was peacefully sleeping. Scorpius stared at him for a while. He was a really handsome guy. Distinctive cheekbones, soft lips, fit body and of course his blue hair. He was totally lost in his thoughts as Teddy grabbed his hand and gently pulled him down. Teddy lifted his blanket. Scorpius followed the movement and quickly found himself pressed closely to Teddy’s chest. He threw the blanket back over them. The closeness was way too much to take and Scorpius immediately regretted giving in. All physical closeness that existed in his life were the hugs between him and Albus. Scorpius blushed hard and tried to regulate his breath.   
“It’s rude to watch people sleeping.” Teddy said playful.  
“Sorry.” Scorpius whispered, not facing him.   
He didn’t dare to move cause every movement would signalize Teddy something wrong – at least that’s what Scorpius was convinces about. He decided to place one hand under his head and the other in front of him, leaving little space between them. But Teddy placed his hand casually on Scorpius hip. Scorpius could feel Teddy’s eyes on him. He closed his eyes to avoid his glance.  
“Scorp, you don’t really wanna sleep now?” Teddy whispered softly.  
Now Scorpius opened his eyes again and met Teddy’s dark ones. He didn’t know what exactly Teddy wanted to hear from him. He just stared at him in expectation. Teddy lifted his hand from his hip and ran a finger over his forehead so that the blonde strains weren’t covering his forehead anymore. They immediately fell back. Still Scorpius couldn’t interpret the look on Teddy’s face. He kinda looked serious but soft. Then he let his hand slide down his cheek and let it rest there. His thumb ran over his lips. He pulled down his bottom lip. Without much thinking Scorpius opened his mouth and licked on his thumb. Suddenly something came up to his mind: his expression revealed longing. Before he could think more about his new won insight, Teddy was leaning forward. Scorpius closed his eyes and their lips met. Scorpius heart felt like it was beating out of his chest. It was his first kiss. There was so much sexual tension that he could feel the electricity between them. Teddy opened his mouth and pushed his tongue into the other boy’s mouth. At the same time, he pulled him closer to his body, so that the little remained space between them was closed. Now Scorpius had no other options than to rest his arm on Teddy’s side. He didn’t know what to focus on; Teddy’s tongue in his mouth, Teddy’s hand on his back sliding down to his ass or his own hand touching Teddy’s strong shoulders. Teddy’s kisses got more pleasurable and he slipped his hand under Scorpius shirt. Scorpius felt his body heating up. He was totally overburden by the situation and broke the kiss, taking a deep breath.   
“Teddy, that’s wrong. We can’t do that. What about Victoire?” Scorpius inhaled deeply.  
“Shhh… don’t worry. Everything is fine.” Teddy said and gently pushed him into the pillows so that he was on top of Scorpius. Scorpius felt daunted. Teddy was much older and had way more experience. He ran a finger under Scorpius’ waistband of his boxers. Then his hand slid down over the fabric. Scorpius inhaled sharply by that unexpected touch.   
“You’re hard already.” Teddy noticed and kissed down his neck. At the same time, he played with the waistband slowly slipping his hand into Scorpius’s boxers.   
It was all happening too quick. Scorpius hand shot down and stopped the older boy from working his hand in his boxers.   
Teddy leaned back and gave him some space.  
“Scorp, I won’t do anything that you don’t want me to do. I promise. Do you want me to stop?” Teddy asked.  
“I don’t know… Teddy, I didn’t have…I mean… so far…” Scorpius hesitated.   
“I know.” Teddy cut him off. “Scorp, this is supposed to be fun. It’s supposed to feel good. You think too much… You can trust me. Relax.” Teddy said comforting.   
His words did calm Scorpius. He simply nodded. Teddy smiled and leaned over him, one leg between Scorpius’ legs. Then he kissed him again. Now Scorpius put his arms around his neck and gave into the kiss. While kissing, Teddy lowered his body and pressed his hip against the other boy’s. Teddy was hard as well, and Scorpius moaned into Teddy’s mouth. Teddy smiled into the kiss and moved his hip. The friction, even through the fabric of their boxers, made Scorpius lose his mind. He was longing for more. He pressed his hip against Teddy’s. Now Teddy sat up and pulled off his shirt, exposing his muscles. Then he made Scorpius sit up and took off his shirt as well. They continued kissing and now Teddy slipped his hand under the waistband and pulled down Scorpius’ boxers. He slowly moved his hand up his leg, teasing him til Scorpius begged to be touched. Shortly before making his way up to his cock he stopped. Scorpius buried his fingers into the sheets, squeezing his eyes shut.  
“Please Teddy.” It came out as needy as in his dream.  
Teddy smirked. He leaned over him and softly kissed his lips. Then he slowly kissed down his chest, biting his nipples and even slower down his belly. Scorpius couldn’t take it any longer. He reached out to touch himself. It seemed like Teddy had only waited for that sign. He reacted much quicker and took his hand. Scorpius moaned loudly in desperation. Now Teddy kissed his cock. He let his tongue run over his full length. Then Scorpius felt Teddy’s wet and hot breath on his glans. Teddy closed his mouth around his cock and sucked while taking it in deeper. He moved his head in a steady rhythm. Waves of pleasure floated Scorpius whole body. He knew that he won’t last long. He needed Teddy to move faster, so he unconsciously reached out for his head and buried his fingers in his hair. He was shaking from pleasure. It felt so much better than he would have expected in his wildest dreams. Before he could say anything, he came into Teddy’s mouth. He expected him to move away but instead he swallowed all of it. Scorpius didn’t recognize his own voice as he moaned out loudly. It was over too quickly.  
Teddy lifted his head and smirked, whipping away some cum from his lips with his thumb. Then, without giving Scorpius a rest, he laid down next to him and kissed him again. This time softly, but Scorpius was distracted by the taste of his own cum. He wondered what was wrong with him, because he liked it a lot being kissed like that.   
“I’m really glad you came to my room.” Teddy said.   
Scorpius didn’t know what to answer.   
Teddy laid beside him and simply stared at the blonde boy with a soft look. He let his fingers run over Scorpius body.  
Scorpius was glad he gave him a break.  
“I’m curious. Did you try out some things on your own?” Teddy turned his head.  
Scorpius blushed. “Ehhmmm… yes.”  
“Are you going to tell me what kind of things?” Teddy smirked.  
Scorpius hesitated. “I… have the password of the Perfect’s bathroom and you know … no one else is allowed to enter when you’re in there.”  
“I was Hufflepuff Perfect. I do know what you’re talking about.”  
“You’re not really a Hufflepuff?!” Scorpius said unbelieving.  
“Well, I am quiet fitting into Hufflepuff but there are some characteristics that rather fit to Slytherin. I’d say 80 % Hufflepuff /20 % Slytherin. BUT you are distracting from my question.”  
Scorpius swallowed. “I … finger fucked myself.” He was getting hard again from just thinking about it.  
“And did you like it?” Teddy asked as he reached into his own boxers.  
“I kinda felt bad afterwards.” Scorpius bit his lip.  
“Because it felt so good?”  
Scorpius nodded.  
“There is absolutely no reason to feel bad about that. You should rather enjoy it.” He paused and looked at him. “Do you want me to finger fuck you? … and continue?” Teddy asked playful.  
Scorpius hesitated. Scorpius knew that continuing meant that they’d go all the way.   
“Yeah…“ A part of him wanted it but there was doubt in his voice. But now there was no way back.  
Teddy rolled over and took the bottle with the lube of a drawer beside his bed.   
…

Scorpius felt Teddy’s steady breath on his shoulder. His arms were casually thrown around him. Teddy was fast asleep. But Scorpius felt some kind of panic rose within him. What had he done? Was that wrong? Yes! A quiet voice said in the back of his head. But it felt good. In that very moment, it had been so easy to enjoy it with Teddy. But now? How could he let Teddy do those things to him? He was shocked of himself. His heart beat quicker, his throat tightened.   
What he needed right now, was a cold shower. Wash off every touch.  
He carefully lifted Teddy’s tattooed arm and slipped out of the bed. As soon as he closed the bathroom door he deeply inhaled as if he had held his breath for several minutes. He was shaking. He could neither collect his thoughts nor his feelings. His ass hurt.   
He stepped into the shower and huge cold drops pattered on his head. The cold calmed him.   
Had he lost himself?  
He took Teddy’s shower gel. The smell floated his mind with pictures of what they have been doing. He felt guilty and sick. 

He had always wanted it to be Albus who fucked him. 

He wished he was still in possession of the time turner: he wished, he didn’t enter Teddy’s room. He whished that it never happened. Stop thinking about it! He instructed himself. He didn’t want to go back to Teddy, not just yet.   
After an eternity he went back to bed. He desperately hoped that Teddy didn’t wake or worse: talk to him. He laid down beside Teddy and stared at the man. Then his thoughts took another direction… maybe he was thinking too much… just as Teddy said.


	5. Chapter 5

Scorpius woke by a loud knock at the door.   
“Scorp.” Teddy groaned into the pillow, signalizing him to open.  
He got up and quickly grabbed boxers that were lying beside the bed and a shirt. The knock became more urgent. He had a hangover and his headache hammered even worse against the inside of his head. His hair was a mess and he noticed he wore Teddy’s boxers. He opened half asleep, not knowing who to expect. To his dismay it was his father. He didn’t show any facial expression.   
“Don’t you want to invite me in?” Draco said cold.   
Now Scorpius wished that he wasn’t alone. “I… I’m not sure if Teddy and Victoire are ok with it. They are not home.” Scorpius lied. He couldn’t have a conversation with his father in his state.   
“Well, that shouldn’t be a problem. Get your stuff. I’ll wait here.” Scorpius thought about closing the door and just ignoring his father’s order.   
He took a deep breath. “No! I’m staying here until tomorrow. Then I’m leaving for Hogwarts. I’ll gather my books later that day and Teddy will accompany me.” He tried to sound confident, but his voice cracked. Then he slammed the door.  
Draco wasn’t used to his son acting or talking to him like that. Draco internalized that he needed to choose another way to get through to his son.   
“Scorpius, I would like to talk to you.” He said calm but strict from the opposite side the door.   
Scorpius didn’t answer.   
“How do you intend to continue all of this?”   
Still no answer.   
He heard his father sighing. “There is a restaurant down the street. I’ll wait there for you.” Draco left. 

Scorpius sank to the ground and rested his head on his knees.  
Teddy came out of the bedroom.   
“What are you doing down here?” He asked surprised.   
“Could you mix that hangover drink please?” Scorpius said desperate.   
Then he told him what happened.  
Teddy laughed. “Your life is definitely not boring.” Then he got serious again. “Take a shower and then we’ll talk to your father. I mean how do you survive Hogwarts without your book?”   
Scorpius smiled.

As they went down the street Teddy noticed that Scorpius was really nervous.   
He put his arm around him. “Everything is going to be fine.”   
Both entered the restaurant and found Draco sitting at a table in a dark corner. Teddy still had his arm around the blonde boy.   
Teddy reached out his hand. “Hello Mr. Malfoy, I’m Teddy Lupin, nice to meet you.”   
Draco seemed to remember something by the name Lupin.   
“I’d like to talk to my son - alone - Mr. Lupin.” He said cold.   
Teddy now got serious. “I’m not gonna leave him alone. You either agree to a talk with the both of us or we’ll leave again. Scorpius can stay as long as he wants after he finished Hogwarts.” He said certain.   
Scorpius heart skipped. Draco wasn’t happy but nodded. They sat down. Scorpius felt sick. No one said anything until Teddy broke the silence.   
“Mr. Malfoy, Scorpius got a job offer. A huge publisher in London is interested in his work.”   
Draco turned to Scorpius. “Is that true?”   
Scorpius just nodded. He felt uncomfortable.   
“Do you want to work there?” He asked.   
“Yes, I really would love to.” Now Scorpius told him everything about the work and the internship.   
“It was Teddy who made it possible.”   
Scorpius faced Teddy. “I didn’t even thank you for that. I really am thankful.”   
Teddy rested his hand on his shoulder. “You’re welcome. I’m happy you’ll take the internship.”   
Draco cleared his throat. “Who are you Mr. Lupin?”   
Teddy didn’t understand. “Well I’m working as Junior Auror…”   
“That’s not what I meant.” It wasn’t easy for Draco to ask but he knew that topic was the reason he was here. “Are you two…”   
They both sill didn’t get what he was driving at.   
“Are you my son’s … boyfriend?”   
Scorpius blushed hard. “No dad.” He said quietly, blushing hard by remembering last night’s events.   
Teddy laughed. “No, I am not, but if I weren’t in a relationship I would definitely consider him as boyfriend.”   
Scorpius partly touched and confused by that statement. His face was totally red. And a rather not so small part of him would have loved to hear: Yes, I’m his boyfriend.  
“Mr. Malfoy, I mean it. You have a great son. Everyone likes him. He’s intelligent and kind. I am his friend and I want that he is treated well.” He said now dead serious. Scorpius hadn’t seen Teddy talking like that before, he was mostly relaxed, funny and unburdened but now he could imagine how he acted as Auror.   
“Are you sure you aren’t together?” Draco asked sarcastically.   
“He doesn’t deserve to be hurt.” Teddy added, ignoring Draco’s comment. He couldn’t read Draco’s mind.   
Draco looked at his son. “I am truly sorry I hurt you. I cannot make up for that, but I want to apologize and I hope that you can forgive me. This will never happen again. I promise you.” He was honest and full of regret.   
Scorpius had never heard anything comparable from his father. He tried to smile. “Of course, I forgive you, dad.” Tears filled his eyes but he didn’t want to cry in front of his father.   
“Dad, do you hate me?” Scorpius suddenly asked.   
Draco looked at him. Fist he said nothing. “Scorpius, you’re my son. I could never hate you.”   
“But dad, I can’t hide my feelings. You said I’ll destroy everything you’ve built up if I come out. That’s a part of me. I can’t change that even if I tried.” Scorpius talked really quickly.   
“Scorpius.” Draco said calming. “I was wrong. I am sorry I made you feel like you couldn’t be yourself. I needed some time to proceed what you told me. And I think I hadn’t much time for you in the last years at all. How about we meet in Hogsmeade at the weekends? I really would like to get to know about your life. Would that be ok for you?” Scorpius wasn’t sure this was really happening.   
“Sure.” He smiled.  
“Are you coming home with me?” Draco asked.  
“Ehh…” Scorpius wasn’t expecting that question.  
“You should.” Teddy addressed him right away.   
Somehow that reaction made his heart sink and his throat tightened.   
Scorpius nodded. “Yeah… I’m coming home with you.” He looked down but didn’t want Teddy to notice that he was hurt.  
They got up and made their way to the chimney. Draco said goodbye and disappeared in the green flames.   
“Thanks for everything.” Scorpius still focused on the ground. 

He couldn’t suppress the thought of being used.

But Teddy pulled him into a hug. “It’s a good thing that you spend some time with your father. You really should work on your relationship. Listen, write me. I mean it… Everything that comes to your mind.” He shortly kissed him on his head. Scorpius blushed.   
“I will.” He looked up into Teddy’s bright blue eyes and stepped into the chimney.   
“And Scorp, don’t always think so much…” Teddy smirked.  
Scorpius pulled a face and then vanished in the flames as well.


	6. Chapter 6

Even if Scorpius wasn’t ready at all, he was walking through the stone wall at Kings Cross right to the Hogwarts Express, just as he did so many times before. He sighed. He was alone. His father had a meeting, but he was glad that he didn’t have to talk to anyone right now. He didn’t want to face Albus and he didn’t want to think about Teddy and THAT night at all. Focus on school. He thought and tried hard to convince himself to stop the flood of pictures in his mind. Would it had been better not to go over to Teddy that night? He rubbed his eyes.  
“Ahh… great. I feared I won’t catch you before you leave.” A familiar voice said.  
Scorpius eyes shot open and he turned around. He stared at him.  
“It’s been quiet a while since I last stood here.” Teddy smiled brightly. He wore a dark robe. Scorpius figured that he was probably dressed up for work. It looked formal and was the total opposite to his usual style. It didn’t make him look less sexy.  
Without thinking he said the first thing that came to his mind: “Well,… you always liked Hogwarts. You were like a rock star.” Scorpius said sarcastically, more feeling like himself now.  
Teddy laughed.  
“What are you doing here?” Scorpius asked.  
Teddy made a move with his head and pulled Scorpius through an old door into waiting room. He cast a spell to keep it close.  
Scorpius couldn’t follow his actions anymore.  
“I wanted to make sure that you’re ok.” He paused.  
“I’m fine!” Scorpius tried to say self-confident but the words didn’t come out like it at all.  
Teddy pulled him closer and before Scorpius knew what he was intending, he felt Teddy’s lips on his own. First, he did want to fight it, but he didn’t even struggle. He enjoyed it but couldn’t interpret Teddy’s behavior at all. The kiss was soft and sweet and not comparable to the kisses two nights ago. He pulled away and looked at him. Scorpius expression revealed every thought.  
“I hope I didn’t confuse you…” Teddy added honestly. “I was probably…”  
“Stop.” Scorpius said angry. He couldn’t take his explanations, knowing too well he loved Victoire and that he was only a one-night stand and that this – whatever it was between them - would never happen again. Before Scorpius could fight it, he felt tears shoot in his eyes. He quickly covered them with his hand. Teddy pulled him into a tight hug.  
“Sorry.” Scorpius sobbed.  
Teddy pressed him on his chest.  
“It’s alright.” He said with a calmness Scorpius wished to have.  
They stayed like that for a while until they heard the piercing noise of the leaving train.  
“Come on, hurry.” Teddy said and pulled him even closer for one last time before he let go.  
Scorpius whipped away the tears and entered the train a second before it was leaving. Teddy watched the door closing. He wasn’t smiling, and Scorpius was neither. 

Scorpius just wanted to hide in a compartment. Unconsciously he went straight to the end of the train, where they usually sat. Lost in his thoughts he pulled the door open. To his dismay Albus sat there alone and looked up from a book that he was reading. Totally caught off guard, Scorpius froze for a moment in shock. Then he pulled himself together.  
“Sorry, I’m… I’ll just… Sorry.” He closed the door again and turned around. A second later he heard the door open again.  
“Scorp, wait! I was searching for you. That’s ridicules, we’re always sharing a compartment since our first year and we’re not stopping in our last year.”  
Scorpius turned around unbelievingly but entered and sat down on the opposite side.  
Albus took a deep breath.  
“YOU are my best friend, and nothing will ever come between us. I still wanna stay friends and I still can’t survive without you. You just … well, I wasn’t expecting your confession, but if you’re ok with it, we can continue where we were – as friends.” Albus smiled.  
Scorpius felt relieve stream through his body. “Thanks, Albus. I really can’t lose you as a friend.”  
Albus got up and hugged him. Scorpius was surprised that he did but gladly hugged him back.

 

Some days passed, and things were going back to normal between him and Albus, although Scorpius needed to admit that he was still hurt by the rejection. He loved Albus so much and it felt bittersweet being close to him. On one hand, he loved spending time with him. They were always sharing some kind of intimacy and humor, others only dreamed of. On the other hand, he wanted to be physically close to him. Kiss him, smell him, taste him, fuck him. To know that this won’t ever happen, left Scorpius desperate. He had reached a dark place in his mind, where no one could reach him. And he couldn’t show it. He needed to keep up the appearance for all cost, otherwise his feelings would cause an irrepealable damage to their friendship. It felt exhausting and Scorpius had the feeling he needed to concentrate on keeping himself in one piece. He needed to stay whole. If he would ever stop concentrating on it, everything was going to break into a thousand little pieces and he didn’t know if he would gather the strength to put it all back together.  
But school life continued, without asking for his feelings. At breakfast Scorpius got a letter:

"Dear Scorpius,  
enclosed I send you the contract for your internship. I really hope that you’ll take it. We have some interesting and exclusive new scripts you really shouldn’t miss to sneak into. If you decide to join us, please send me the signed contract back and please send me three book reviews on top. (A positive, a negative and your favorite) It should be current book reviews.  
Kind Regards  
Victor Crowfort" 

Scorpius got really excited and immediately signed the contract and put in the three reviews. It wasn’t like he couldn’t chose from like ten. He told Albus about it. He was happy for him, but Scorpius knew, that he was dealing with his own issues: He had no idea what he was supposed to do after school. His marks were below average, and his father put more pressure on him since the beginning of the year. Dating wasn’t a topic between them anymore, but that was just fine. Scorpius thought it might be better not to tell Albus about his night with Teddy and if he won’t ask, he won’t have to lie.  
The next days, he received another letter:

"Hi Scorp,  
just met Victor. He told me that you’re taking the internship and that he adores your reviews! He couldn’t stop talking about it. How about you stay with us during your spring holidays? … Just an offer. Victoire will be on a business trip in New York for a week. I’d love to have you here. Think about it – well, don’t think too much.  
How are things going between you and Albus? … Of course, I already know from James, but I really would like to hear it from you. And I’m really curious: how is your love life going? Is there some guy you’re interested in? Write me.  
Teddy"

Scorpius needed to read the letter twice and blushed hard.  
Albus had his mouth full. “What is it?” He managed to ask, obviously noticing Scorpius strange behavior.  
“Nothing!” Scorpius said too quick to make Albus buy it.  
He raised an eyebrow.  
Scorpius put the letter into his bag. “Just intern stuff. All the paperwork is really annoying.” He saved the situation and Albus continued eating.

Scorpius laid awake in bed. He didn’t want to answer Teddy. There was no sense in interpreting anything like honest interest into it. He didn’t see a necessity in explaining his behavior. Scorpius tried to fight it and thought that if he didn’t answer right away, Teddy might get more concretely about his plans for the spring holidays. Too quick Scorpius gave in and hated himself for having only that little self-esteem. 

“Dear Teddy,  
things are going back to normal between Albus and me and I’m glad he’s acting like nothing happened between us. But knowing that Albus won’t ever return my love makes me feel as alone as never before.  
Thanks for your offer. I’d love to stay with you. Can’t wait to start working.  
I wondered,… how does it come that I almost know nothing about you? We’re friends right?!  
… And I don’t have a love life. You know that quiet well. Anyway, this is my last year – the one thing I don’t have is time – at least not for stuff like that.  
Scorpius”

Scorpius rewrote that letter like a hundred times and burned the crumbled-up parchments. Actually, he didn’t want to send it but as he did, he panicked. He wanted to sound provocative but as the owl flew away with his letter he wished he could take it back. But killing the owl wasn’t quiet an option…

 

After another week, Rose suddenly appeared at their table. That actually NEVER happened.  
“Wow, Scorpius. Seems like there is a tiny bit of Gryffindor in you.” She said waving with the Daily Prophet. “I probably wouldn’t have dared to publish that.”  
Scorpius looked at her questioning and then at Albus who looked even more confused.  
She placed the newspaper in front of him and opened a specific page. Scorpius couldn’t belief it. There was his review printed in huge letters.  
“I don’t get it. Isn’t it a good thing that they printed your review… I mean even before you start working there as intern?” Albus asked.  
Scorpius suddenly felt sick. “That wasn’t supposed to be printed.” He was really pale by now.  
“Yeah… I thought so.” Rose laughed but put a hand on his shoulder to show him her pity. “Good luck. You may better search for something else.”  
“Can someone please tell me what the fuck is going on?!” Albus made a gesture at his cousin.  
“I should hand in a positive and a negative review and they printed the negative one… but the author is one of the most celebrated writers of our century. Everyone loves him and no one – I mean NO ONE – dares to question his work…”  
“Except for you.” Rose added. “But to be honest, it was well written and only because no one dares to write something comparable, doesn’t mean that it’s wrong. I might have had the same thought about his new book.” She smiled and left to her friends.  
Scorpius let his face drop down on the table. “That’s it. I can quit before I start working there.”  
“Why? You heard what Rose said. Just because no one says it aloud doesn’t mean it isn’t right.” Albus repeated.  
“Yeah… but he had so much influence that he’ll defiantly won’t let me publish ANYTHING anymore.” Scorpius sighed. 

To Scorpius surprise everything came differently:  
He received tones of letters from other publishers who offered him internships, or even real jobs. Some just wanted single reviews and they’d pay much money for that. He received books from authors, who wanted his opinion on those. Scorpius even got 50 points from their house teacher for his work.  
His father wrote him right away:

“Dear Scorpius,  
I’m very proud, that you published such a good work and that you got the internship. Of course, you can stay with your friend in London for that time. The whole ministry is discussing your article and even Granger likes it. Do you want to publish other reviews? Please send me some of your work. I’m curious what you’re working on. Mum would have been so proud and happy. Not only that you’re outstanding in analyzing and writing, also because you have good friends you can count on. I’m happy for you.  
Love Dad”

Next letter was from Victor:  
“Hello Scorpius,  
We’re so relieved that you already signed our contract. Great work. I’ll publish your other reviews soon. We look forward to your stay here in our office. It was the right decision to work with us. You’ll fit in here perfectly. Please send me new work whenever you can.  
Kind Regards  
Victor Crowfort”

And of course, from Teddy:  
“Hey Scorp,  
good one! Whole London talks about you. Victor is going insane by all the attention his publisher gets momentarily. Happy to hear that you decided to stay with me.  
I know you only have little time, but it’s always a good thing to explore your body on your own before you let anyone else do the work. Find out what you like and what you don’t. Little advice: the perfects’ bathroom is on the third floor, behind the creepy statue – you know where.  
Teddy”

Scorpius pulled a face by reading that letter. Teddy didn’t answer any of his questions at all. Scorpius didn’t see any sense in writing him back. That idiot. He chewed on his bottom lip. But that didn’t mean that he couldn’t follow his advice.


	7. Chapter 7

Intern Week. The Hogwarts express arrived at Kings Cross Friday night. Scorpius was nervous as hell, seeing Teddy again. Normally, Albus would take any chance to leave Hogwarts, but he decided to stay in school to avoid his father. He didn’t bother to get an internship anyway. Scorpius was glad that he didn’t have to spend the ride home to London with him. He wouldn’t have known how to explain his behavior to Albus. He stepped out of the train. There weren’t many students on the station. Usually only a few seventh-year pupils took the opportunity of an internship during exam preparation.   
Scorpius looked around, but Teddy was nowhere to find, and it should have been easy to scout for his blue hair. Scorpius sat down on a bench with mixed feelings. Time passed, and the station was getting less and less crowded. He sighed and wondered if it was a joke or if he simply forgot about him. What was he supposed to do if Teddy didn’t come at all? He hugged his bag which was resting on his legs. 

After more than an hour, Teddy came running through the stone wall. He was heavily panting but smiled brightly as he saw Scorpius sitting there. No one else was there. Scorpius wanted to be angry, but the feeling vanished the minute he saw Teddy’s expression and he mirrored his smile. A little part in the back of his head, told him he should feel bad for the little self esteem he had, but he soon pushed that thought aside.  
“I’m so, so sorry.” Teddy said out of his breath.   
He stepped forward and hugged Scorpius.   
“Today was hell. Uncle Harry won’t let me leave earlier.” He explained still hugging him.   
Then he let go and took Scorpius’s bag as a matter of course. He casually swung it over his shoulder and put the other arm around Scorpius’s shoulder.   
“I wanted to cook something, but I was lying if I told you I was a good cook. So, we can either order or go to a restaurant. You choose.”   
Scorpius imagined that stay ever since he first got the letter with his invitation, he feared that it would be awkward to see Teddy again, but he was acting like usual… no, that wasn’t true. He was acting like he was his boyfriend, or at least Scorpius imagined how it would be like having a boyfriend.  
“Order.” Scorpius said shy. He was too exhausted to go anywhere today.

As Scorpius unpacked, Teddy turned around the corner.   
“I’ve ordered. They’ll deliver in 30 minutes… wait… is that what you want to wear for work?!” He pulled a face as he saw Scorpius unpacking his cloths.   
Scorpius blushed. “Ehh… Dad said that will fit.”  
“Yeah… don’t listen to your dad. We’ll go shopping tomorrow. I’ve some ideas.” Teddy smirked evil.  
Again, Teddy was flirting, and Scorpius had no idea how he was supposed to respond to this. They just arrived… couldn’t Teddy give him a break?! He decided not to comment on it.  
“Ok, then we’ll go shopping.” Scorpius sighed. 

At dinner they talked about all kinds of topics.  
“Are you looking forward to next week or are you nervous?”  
Scorpius indeed was nervous. All he wanted right now, was that job. It was his first job, so he had no idea how the next two weeks at his internship would look like.  
“I’m looking forward to the internship for weeks. Can’t wait to leave Hogwarts.”   
Teddy smiled. “You’re nervous as hell.”   
Scorpius looked caught.   
“Your expression reveals everything about you. You can’t hide any of your emotions.” Teddy paused. “That’s what I love about you.”   
Then he turned around, not giving Scorpius a chance to answer… even though Scorpius wouldn’t have any idea what to answer.   
“Did you follow my advice?”   
Scorpius directly knew what he was referring to. He poked in his food.  
“I was a little bit disappointed that you didn’t report me about your experiences right away…”  
“I…”  
“Yoooouuu?...” Teddy raise an eyebrow.  
Scorpius cleared his throat. “Yes, I did. But you didn’t answer any of my questions either.”  
“Ok, let’s play a game. You ask me a question and I answer honestly. Then it’s my turn.”  
“That’s called conversation.” Scorpius rolled his eyes.  
Teddy laughed. “Start.”  
“Why didn’t you answer any personal questions?”   
“I’m shy.”  
“You said you’d answer honest.” Scorpius said annoyed.  
Teddy held eye contact for a longer moment.   
“I’ve experienced that people can not be trusted that easily.” He said thoughtful.  
“And you think I’m not trustworthy?!” Scorpius wanted it to sound accusing, and a bit funny, but it came out as if he was hurt and he immediately hated himself for not controlling his emotions better.  
“That’s not how it works… It’s my turn.”  
“Can we please have a normal conversation for once? You don’t honestly think I am not to be trusted? Is it because I’m a Malfoy? Cause I’ve heard that way too often … especially from Albus’ family.” Scorpius was quiet angry about that fact.  
Teddy’s eyes softened.   
“I know how Harry acts when it comes to the whole Malfoy topic, but first, I think he’s over it by now and second – and more important – I decide on my own who I let into my life. And you’re sitting here at my table in my flat… isn’t that proof enough?!”  
Scorpius looked at him stunned.   
“Ehh…. I guess… kind of. But letting people in your home or your life is a difference.”  
Teddy smiled. “Yeah, right.”   
Teddy’s smile grew bigger.  
After that they only had some small talk. Afterwards they watched a movie, cuddled up on the couch under a blanket. To Scorpius’ surprise Teddy did neither try to kiss him nor to sleep with him. That confused him even more if that was possible. Exhausted from the long journey, Scorpius soon fell asleep on top of Teddy. 

 

The next day they went shopping.   
Teddy euphorically collected tones of cloths and instructed Scorpius to try different combinations.   
“Ok try this.” Teddy handed him a really tight and highly wasted black jeans, a white T-shirt and a plaid shirt.   
“That’s not for the job, is it?” Scorpius asked skeptically.   
“No, that’s just for me.” Teddy smirked evil.  
“Fine.” Scorpius pulled a face but changed.  
“You look hot.” Teddy closed the gab between them and pushed him into the changing room.   
Scorpius heart was racing. He looked up at Teddy and swallowed. He could smell his perfume. Teddy leaned down and without having second thoughts Scorpius kissed him pleasurable. He then just noticed that he had waited for that moment to happen since Teddy picked him up at Kings Cross. The sexual tension between them was undeniable.   
“We should go home. Don’t you think?”  
Scorpius felt the heat of the blush on his cheeks and neck.   
“You’re hard.” Teddy’s hand rubbed over the fabric of his new jeans.   
Scorpius could barely keep himself up right. His heart was on his sleeve.  
Teddy apparated them right back into his bed at home. Both fell on the soft matrass and hungrily kissed each other.  
“You have no idea how hot you’re.” Teddy moaned.  
Scorpius quickly got out of his pants. He wanted Teddy so badly. 

The whole week with Teddy was too good to be true. They did all kinds of typical couple stuff. Every day when Scorpius returned from work, they went out. Teddy invited him to restaurants, he showed him parts of Muggle-London, they watched movies, went shopping and had lots of sex. Scorpius felt more comfortable about his body and Teddy didn’t seem to hold back anymore. The more Scorpius enjoyed their sex, the more unrestrained Teddy became.


	8. Chapter 8

It was Friday, the first week of Scorpius’ internship had passed, and he was allowed to leave earlier, cause he was doing quiet a good job. He decided to prepare dinner for Teddy and as well for Vicci, who was coming back from her business trip, as suddenly the doorbell rang.  
He opened and in front of him stood a girl with red short hair.  
“Aren’t they home?” She asked annoyed.  
“Do you mean Teddy and Victoire?” Scorpius asked slightly irritated.  
“Yeah, who else?!”  
“I fear they’re still at work.” Scorpius explained.  
She entered without asking. “Great. Then I’ll just wait here.” She let herself fall on the couch.  
“Hey, you can’t just do that!” Scorpius said perplex.  
“I can. I’m Dominique. Victoire’s sister… sweet little Vicci, hmm… and who are you?”  
“I’m Scorpius Malfoy. Sorry, but they didn’t tell me that you were going to come over.”  
Actually Scorpius didn’t even know that Victoire had a sister. They never mentioned her at all.  
“Of course not…” She rolled her eyes.  
“Look, I don’t want to be rude, but could you please come back later. I don’t think they’ll be ok with this…” Scorpius said.  
She chuckled awkwardly. “No, they won’t…” She didn’t make a move. “What are you doing here, Scorpius?” She asked.  
“Ehmm… I’m staying with them during my Intern Week. I have an internship in London… I’m sure we can talk later, but…”  
She examined him derogatively. “So, Teddy hasn’t change at all… I just wonder why Victoire tolerates that.” She interrupted him.  
“What do you mean?” Scorpius asked uncomprehending. His heart stopped.  
“Don’t you know how Teddy was like in school? Teddy, the hero of the next generation. Aren’t there any rumors left at Hogwarts?” She asked surprised.  
Scorpius didn’t say anything.  
“Teddy was the most popular boy in school. He didn’t fit in at all, but although everyone adored him… and that as a Hufflepuff. The teacher thought he was a genius and everyone wanted to be friends with him because he was soooo funny and loyal….” There was bitterness in her voice.  
Scorpius still didn’t say anything.  
“Truth is, he was just lucky. Luckier than anyone else. Whenever he messed up, he saved his neck by sad excuses.”  
“I really don’t need to hear that. I know Teddy and I do know who he is. And I don’t care if he made any mistakes according to you… I guess we all do that.” He said serious.  
Dominique suddenly smiled.  
“And… he’s a cheater and a slut. And I have enough fantasy to imagine what you are to him.” She said quiet, still smiling.  
“I really don’t know what you’re driving at, but I’m pretty sure Teddy and Victoire are happy. They’re the best couple I know.” Scorpius said defending, but he wondered how she found out.  
These words seemed to hit a nerve, because her smile dropped.  
“So, you’re telling me you’re not Teddy’s toy?” She said pissed.  
“What?” Scorpius was caught off guard. “Ehh no.” He lied. Was he a toy in Teddy’s eyes? He wondered.  
“Haha… sure you’re not. He fucked most students in school and even after he was sooo unbelievingly happy together with little Vicci, he still fucked other guys and that’s no secret at all.”  
That couldn’t be true, could it?! Scorpius shook his head.  
“Aren’t you that guy, he was dancing with on that party?! – so close. Didn’t you hear all the whispering: -He does it again.- -Poor Victoire.- -He isn’t even hiding it.- … Well you know how people are.” 

“Dominique!” Victoire screamed as she entered the door in rage.  
Scorpius turned around. “Victoire, I told her to wait outside but she simply entered. I’m sorry… I…”  
Victoire put an arm around him. “It’s all right. I know her well enough. Don’t worry.” She said quiet.  
“How can you dare coming here? You’re not welcome!” She was in rage.  
Usually she was rather diplomatic and collected but that didn’t seem to count when it came to her sister.  
“Just wanted to say hi, Sis.” She faked a smile.  
“What do you want?” Victoire asked.  
Teddy suddenly entered as well and stopped abruptly. “What are you doing here?”  
“Hi Teddy, haven’t seen you in a while.”  
“You can stop your games. What do you want?” Victoire repeated.  
“You still own me an excuse…You didn’t invite me to your party.”  
“That’s enough. Leave!” Teddy said annoyed.  
“Ok seriously then… I thought you could do me a favor, as excuse for not inviting me, you need to introduce me to your new project manager, Vicci. … You know I’m searching for a gob right now and I just read an interesting article about him… so it’d be a great opportunity to start there…”  
Victoire shook her head. “Nice try. I defiantly won’t do that. Let me guess… you’re so disappointed that I won’t help you and now you need money to search for whatever? Did you already ask mom and dad or are we first this time” She figured.  
“Please Sis. I just need some money to get through the week.” She begged.  
“It doesn’t work. No one is falling for your poor acting anymore. Get your life together. You had more than one helping hand to do so.” Victoire said hard.  
Now Dominique got angry. “You won’t even give your own sister money for rent? I know how well you two are paid.”  
“Well, we have a job. WE work for our money. And maybe you should cut down your lifestyle, then you’ll have money left for food.” Now Teddy interfered.  
She turned towards him.  
“I see. You have enough money to pay for your little bitch here.” She pointed at Scorpius.  
Teddy looked like he was going to kill her. She passed the three but stopped at the door. “Good to see, you haven’t changed.”  
Then she finally left.

Scorpius had never seen Teddy seriously angry like that. His hair was dark red. Well, he was a Hufflepuff and it took a while to make them throw a tantrum. Scorpius was rooted to the ground.  
“Sorry, you had to see that.” Victoire said still angry. She let a hand run through her hair. “I need a drink.” She left into the kitchen, leaving Scorpius and Teddy alone.  
“I need a cigarette.” Teddy stepped out on the balcony.  
Scorpius wasn’t sure what to do. He hesitated but after a while he followed him outside, but Teddy immediately turned around, without looking at him. “Sorry, I need some fresh air.” He took his jacket and left the flat.  
Victoire walked over to Scorpius. She took a deep breath. “I don’t know what she told you about Teddy or me, but …well… “  
“You really don’t have to explain anything. I know you two and I don’t really care what happened when you were in school.” Scorpius said, already feeling bad that Victoire was that kind to him and he really didn’t deserve that. He wondered if Teddy told her about their affair. But she would never act that kind if she knew he was cheating on her and he would have never been allowed to stay here. That made him feel even worse.  
She smiled. “Guess she is the black sheep of our family. She probably is still hurt… otherwise I can’t explain her behavior. Teddy once slept with her, long before we got together. He figured pretty quickly that she wasn’t … well the right one for him. She never got over it and it made it worse that I came together with him two years later.” She explained.  
“I understand.” Scorpius nodded.  
“Scorp, you know that it really matters to Teddy what you think about him. He’s upset cause you might get a wrong impression after what she said…” Victoire said concerned.  
Scorpius looked at her. “I’ll look after Teddy. You know where he might have gone?”  
“Probably down to the park.”  
Scorpius grabbed his jacket and left as well. 

 

He wandered around Hyde Park. The sun was already setting, and the lanterns switched on.  
He won’t ever find him here. He sat down on a bench.  
What was he to Teddy? A toy? A friend with benefits? An affaire? What was he feeling for him? Everything seemed to be a game and he didn’t fear messing up his relationship with Victoire. That thought made his heart beat quicker. But he’s with Vicci. And Scorpius liked her a lot.  
“Scorpius.”  
Scorpius looked up and found Teddy in front of him.  
“You shouldn’t be here all alone.”  
He sat down beside him. Meanwhile it has gotten dark. Teddy lit a cigarette.  
“I would understand if you don’t wanna stay with me after what Dominique told you. I won’t blame you.” He said as emotionless as possible.  
Scorpius guessed that he was rather angry or hurt… or maybe both.  
“Teddy, it really doesn’t matter to me. I do know well that you are a good person…”  
“I’m not…” Teddy suddenly said.  
Scorpius stared at him puzzled.  
“I wanted to be. I acted like I was, but it was just because I wanted to convince you. I know that I’m not. I’m weak.”  
First Scorpius didn’t know what to answer.  
“Listen, when we first met, you made me feel welcome. I mean you let me stay and you cared about me, even though you didn’t know me. You said some really kind things to me. Albus was supposed to be there for me, but instead it was you.”  
“And if I told you, that it’s all true. Everything Dominique told you about me is true.” Teddy seemed to be angry because of Scorpius’ words.  
“I don’t care! I mean I’m that last person who’s judging people. You know Albus and I almost messed up history. We made a huge mistake and we’d have deserved worse punishment.”  
“That’s not the same…” Teddy said.  
“What I want to tell you is that ... well I think we can’t change who we are and to be honest it was you who made me realize that and I mean she wasn’t right. She said, well…”  
Now Scorpius blushed hard and continued much quieter.  
“She said that I am a toy to you…” He paused. Even the thought hurt like hell. “I’m not, am I?” Scorpius smiled weakly focusing the ground.  
Meanwhile the air has gotten much colder.  
Teddy kept quiet and clenched his fist.  
“Right?” Scorpius repeated, unsure what the silence might mean.  
“We should go home.” Teddy suddenly said and stood up.  
Scorpius pulled on Teddy’s wrist and looked up into his eyes.  
Teddy sighed. “You’re really not making it easy.”  
Scorpius swallowed and immediately let go of his wrist.  
“Do you want me to leave?”  
Teddy shook his head. “Of course not.”  
“Then tell me what I can do to make you feel better.”  
Teddy chewed on his lip and turned his back towards Scorpius. He buried his hand in his thick blue hair in frustration.  
“You wouldn’t want that. You don’t want me to be that guy.”  
“How can you know what I want if you don’t even ask me … and it is irrelevant to discuss that anyway. It’s not making any sense to think about us in another version, cause you have Vicci. And she’s great. She’s beautiful, successful, smart, she has courage …”  
“Yeah I know all that, but it isn’t that easy.” He turned towards him and his hair was now colored brown. Scorpius wandered what that was supposed to mean.  
“What you want is not always what you need. You deserve a boyfriend who takes care of you and who can give you all of him… believe me I would make you unhappy. I know it. I’d only hurt you… and I’m fighting it. I really do. But it takes all of me and I know I’m weak. I don’t quiet have the willpower when it comes to those things... or let’s say when it comes to you.” Teddy smiled sadly.  
Scorpius sat there unbelieving. “No… but you… what??”  
Now Teddy’s hair got even darker. He made several steps away from Scorpius. “I shouldn’t have said anything.”  
Now Scorpius stood up. “But you have Victoire.”  
“THIS is way more complicated.” Teddy hit a tree with his fist.  
“Then explain it to me.” Scorpius begged.  
Teddy took a deep breath and slowly turned around, so that he was now leaning against the tree.  
“Dominique wasn’t lying about my Hogwarts time. I did have a lot of sex with different people. I didn’t intend to start a relationship with anyone, til I met Vicci. She was different. It was perfect … for a while but I messed things up.”  
He closed his eyes and shook his head.  
“I’m not proud of it but I cheated on her with another guy. Of course, the truth came out… well I mean it’s Hogwarts. It’s hard to hide anything there. But to my surprise, she didn’t want to break up with me. She just wanted me to explain the situation and she understood me. So, we decided to have an open relationship, but we made rules: I can sleep with other guys, but no other girls, and I’m only having sex without getting emotionally involved and she… well …doesn’t matter right now I guess. I had some affairs, it was only superficial sex… never anything emotional. But with you I am breaking these rules.”  
Teddy looked at Scorpius. “What does that make me?” Teddy asked.  
“Does… does that mean you like me?” Scorpius ignored his question.  
“Yes, Scorp, and that’s the problem. I do like you in a way I should not like you. Usually I just have sex with other guys -once or twice. I was lying if I said, I didn’t want to sleep with you again, but I’m fighting it because I don’t want to hurt you or Vic…if it isn’t too late anyway. I want you to have a real relationship with someone you love and who’s all yours. Not something messed up with someone like me.”  
“I can decide on my own, thanks.” Scorpius said dry. He wanted to seem grown up.  
“I can’t be your boyfriend!” Teddy shouted.  
The words hit Scorpius harder than expected, although he already knew that. Scorpius looked down and bit his lip. He didn’t know what to answer.  
“Look, Vic is back. It’s complicated, but I love her. So, could you please not say anything about the last week and that talk?” Teddy sounded pissed and Scorpius wondered why his mood changed that quickly. He didn’t do anything wrong… well everything about their relationship was wrong and messed up, but Scorpius didn’t know what exactly made Teddy that angry right now. It was his initiative and his decision how things developed between them.  
“So, what are we?” Scorpius almost didn’t dare to ask.  
Teddy looked thoughtful. “Stop asking me such things. I hate labels anyway. If you want an official answer I’d say: Roommates.”  
“And unofficially?”  
“Scorp, you really need to stop that – stop asking me these things!”


	9. Chapter 9

“Scorp, get up! It’s already past eight.” Teddy called from the bathroom.   
Scorpius buried his head deeper into his pillow. How was he supposed to survive the day after that weekend?!  
Teddy and Victoire were busy getting dressed. Victoire was already late for work.   
“I won’t wait for you.” Teddy said while brushing his teeth.  
Scorpius groaned but couldn’t bring himself to get up.   
Teddy appeared in the frame of his bedroom door. Scorpius didn’t need to look at his face, to know that he was smirking, holding a cup of coffee in his hands. The smell got into Scorpius’ nose.  
“I need one, too.” He mumbled into his pillow.  
“Come on, I can’t be late for work and you need to shower.” Teddy said softly and pulled the blanket down.  
Right now, Scorpius could kill him, but forced himself out of the bed. He shuffled to the bathroom, where Vicci was busy with her hair styling. She wore glasses although she didn’t need any. She looked formal and totally different than usual. On the weekends and when she was home she loved to wear wasted jeans and shirts. She preferred the color black. Teddy and she were the most attractive couple Scorpius knew. He undressed and stepped into the shower.   
“My boss will kill me. We have a meeting at… fuck… in ten minutes!” She gasped.  
“Towel?” Scorpius asked sleepy and she threw the towel onto his face.   
“Sorry, Scorp.” She said still busy with hair.   
Scorpius stepped out of the shower and looked around in his room. It was a mess. Usually Scorpius was the tidiest and best organized student in Hogwarts, but he wasn’t in Hogwarts right now. He needed to admit that this was no longer the case. Used cloth was speeded all over his bed and the floor, as if his trunk had exploded. He stared at it.   
“Here.” Teddy handed him a pullover while he looked down his body.   
Scorpius took it. “Is that yours? It won’t fit.” He sighed.  
“It’s Vicci’s. It’ll fit.”   
Scorpius blushed.  
“I can’t wear that to work…”  
“You can. Hurry. Uncle Harry will kill me if I’m in the office after him.”  
Scorpius pulled the pullover over his head. To his surprise it looked good.  
“You look hot.” Teddy whispered.   
“I won’t do the laundry tonight. I’ll have to work over time.” Victoire sighed and kissed Teddy on his mouth. She took her keys and walked over to Scorpius.   
“Bye… Oh is that my pullover?” She asked surprised.   
“Ehh…” Scorpius blushed.  
“Looks good on you.” She smiled and kissed him on his cheek. “See you tonight.” She apparated was gone.  
“Where is my coffee?” Scorpius asked.  
“No coffee for you.” Teddy said amused. Then he put an arm around Scorpius and apparated as well.

 

They stood in front of a call box. Teddy dialed a certain number. Hello Mr. Lupin, hello guest. A voice said and they were allowed to enter the ministry of magic. It was the shortest way for Scorpius to get to a chimney which lead to his workplace.   
“I hate Mondays already. How can you be in such a good mood and why are you wide awake after that weekend?!” Scorpius asked.  
Teddy still had his arm around him and simply smiled without answering his question.   
“Oh, good morning Mr. Malfoy!” Teddy said and waved at him.  
Draco raised an eyebrow.  
“Morning dad.” Scorpius didn’t expect to meet his father.   
“Morning son.” He said formal. “Aren’t you supposed to be at work?”   
“I’m on my way… I’m just a bit late.” Scorpius smiled nervously and tried to put down Teddy’s arm.  
“Still not together?” Draco asked joking.  
Scorpius wouldn’t have expected such a reaction.  
“Don’t ask.” He said sighing.  
Teddy laughed.  
“I’m on my way to a meeting, but you need to tell me about your first week. Shall we meet for lunch?”   
Scorpius smiled. “Sure, dad.”  
“TEDDY!” An angry voice screamed.   
Teddy froze.   
Harry appeared behind them.  
“Uncle Harry… I was on my way…”  
“Is there one day you’ll be in time?” Harry looked up. “Morning Mal… Draco. Hello Scorpius.”  
“Morning Mr. Potter.” Scorpius was slightly overburdened by the situation, because he knew it was never a good thing if his and Albus’s father met… especially not at Monday morning.  
“Which room was the…” Harry thought out loud.   
“12b” Draco immediately said. “And you are Head of this department.” He said unbelievingly.   
“Where is Albus?” Harry turned his head.  
“Albus??” Scorpius asked perplexed. Actually, Albus decided to stay in Hogwarts to avoid his father, who was putting much more pressure on him, now that the end of their Hogwarts time was in reach.  
Albus caught up to his father. He stopped.   
“Scorp?!” His expression changed from really annoyed to happy.   
He pulled him into a hug. Still it was weird for Scorpius to be physically close to Albus after he rejected him. Of course, none of their fathers knew about that. Scorpius quickly pulled back.  
“What are you doing here?” Scorpius asked.  
“Dad “convinced” me to take an internship at the Ministry.” His expression revealed everything about his mood and attitude. “I wrote you like three letters last week. Haven’t you read them?” Albus asked.   
“Ehhh… sorry, I was busy with work.” He said apologizing.   
“You look awful.” Albus obviously noticed the dark circled around his eyes.  
“Long nights. Short weekend. I’m fine.”   
Suddenly a loud gong echoed through the halls of the Ministry. 9 am.  
“Fuck. I need to go.”   
Scorpius was about to run to the next chimney, but Teddy held him back on his arm. He looked at him meaningful.   
“Haven’t you forgotten something?” He held up his bag. “Have a nice day.” He run his hand through Scorpius hair as you do with little kids.   
Scorpius hated that but took the bag.   
“There are two pills in your bag. They’ll get you through the day.” He said so that only Scorpius could hear it. “You can thank me later.” He almost whispered and Scorpius blushed hard as he pulled his bag out of Teddy’s grip.   
“Bye dad, bye Albus.” He ran down the corridor and jumped into a free chimney.

 

“Sorry, … sorry for being late!” He entered his workplace.   
“Morning.” His colleagues didn’t seem to be bothered by him being late.   
“Good morning.” His boss said and handed him a cup of coffee.   
“Seems like the weekends with Teddy haven’t changed much.” He smirked. Victor was a friend of Teddy’s and spent a lot of time with him when they were younger. Now he was a successful publisher and barely had time to go out partying with him.   
“Sorry. I’ll be in time from now on.”   
“Don’t worry.” He went over to his desk and handed three books to Scorpius. “Ready for work?”   
Scorpius smiled brightly. “This is the best job in the world.” He quickly took the books and started reading. 

 

After work, Scorpius could barely keep his eyes open. As he entered the flat, he was ready to crash on the bed and sleep til the next morning.  
“Hello?” He called out yawning.   
No one answered, but he heard people talking. He sneaked around the corner. There sat Teddy, Vicci, James and Albus.   
“What’s going on here?” He asked surprised.   
Albus who had faced the floor, now looked up at him and cracked a smile. “Hi.”  
“Did anything happen?” Scorpius asked.   
“No… it’s just… It’s dad, I can’t take it anymore. I can’t stay home – not one second.” Albus said angry.   
James rested a hand on his shoulder.  
“Albus will stay here for a while.” Teddy said.  
“What?” Scorpius face dropped.   
Even if it hurt being apart from Albus, it had been the one thing he needed right now. He felt miserable being close to Albus and he just started to feel like he could breathe again. To know that he had a week ahead without feeling as he was going to break down in tears any minute, had let him feel relief for the first time in quiet a while. And now that lightness was gone.  
“Maybe you could share a bed?” Teddy proposed, looking meaningful at Scorpius.  
“No way!” Scorpius said angry.  
“You’re sharing a dorm, right.”  
Scorpius was about to kill Teddy.   
“Just kidding. He can sleep on the couch.” Teddy said calming, knowing he had gone too far.  
“I’m tired. I’m going to bed.” Scorpius said serious and shook his head.  
“What about dinner?”   
“Not hungry.”   
Victoire looked at Teddy reproachful and shook her head. 

 

Later that evening, Albus entered Scorpius’ room with some sandwiches.   
Scorpius sat up.   
“Here…” Albus handed him the plate and sat down on the edge of the bed, right beside him.   
“Can we talk?”  
Scorpius took a bite. “Sure.”  
“You don’t want me here, do you?” Albus asked hurt.  
Scorpius didn’t know what he was supposed to answer.   
“You didn’t even reply to my letters…” Albus continued without waiting for a reply. “So, what I was thinking about… when we leave Hogwarts, will you burn all bridges with me?” He sounded slightly panicked.  
Scorpius swallowed hard. “No, of course not… I’m… I’m just concentrating on my internship. That’s all.” He lied.   
“And what about Teddy’s comment?” Albus obviously felt uncomfortable talking about it.  
Scorpius blushed. “What comment?” Of course, he knew what Albus was referring to.  
Albus moved his head askance, knowing exactly that he knew. “About sharing a bed.”  
“Oh that… It’s just Teddy. I mean he’s like James. He always tries to be funny, right?”   
“You bolted.”   
“I didn’t.”  
“You did.”  
“Teddy just didn’t think… It was stupid, and I really don’t want to talk about it.”  
“But we could talk about it… you can talk about everything with me, you do know that, don’t you?” Albus said understanding.   
Albus really tried and Scorpius was glad he did.  
“Thanks.” He smiled a little.  
“Scorp, … what I wanted to tell you for a while is… that I’m sorry. I’m sorry I don’t feel the same way about you. You deserve to be happy and it’s the only thing I want for you. But you aren’t happy right now and I know it’s my fault. I’m sorry.” Albus seemed to have carried that around for a while.  
Scorpius opened his mouth but shut it again. It hurt. Albus words hurt so badly. It felt like wounds that had seemed to just start healing were teared open again.   
He took a deep breath. He wanted to lie to Albus: Tell him that he is fine. That he moved on. That he was ready to think about something or someone else than him.  
“I’m trying … but Albus, it’s so hard not to love you. I thought by ignoring your letters I could bring a distance between us and I could finally stop thinking about you, but it seems like I’m pretty bad in moving on. I’m not mad that you’re here… it’s just hard. I mean it’s hard to be without you but it’s even harder being close to you.”  
Albus eyes widened. He obviously didn’t expect such an answer but got a hold of himself.  
“Is there anything I can do? Do you want me to leave?”   
“No… I don’t want to visit you in Askaben, because you killed you father.” Scorpius tried to be funny but Albus saw right through him.  
“Scorp, I mean it.”   
Scorpius bit his lip.  
“Would you… ehmmm….” He paused. “Just forget it.”  
“Tell me already.”  
“Would you kiss me?” He said quickly.  
“Oh.” Albus simply said.  
“Sorry. That was stupid. Can we just pretend I didn’t ask that?” Scorpius blushed.   
Albus swallowed and pulled on his sleeve.   
“Wouldn’t I just hurt you even worse with that?”  
Scorpius smiled sadly. “Don’t think that’s even possible. Sorry I asked.” He shook his head. “We should go to bed, it’s already…”  
“I’ll do it.”   
“What?!” Scorpius’ heart started to race, and he looked up into Albus’ eyes.   
He looked unsure but smiled.   
Scorpius didn’t move. He looked into Albus’ dark eyes, shortly down on his lips and back up. They looked at each other for a heartbeat but it felt like an eternity. Then Albus leaned forward and Scorpius automatically closed his eyes. His heart was pounding in his ears. It was almost too much as Albus’ lips met his own. Soft and sweet and shortly he felt Albus lips on his own. Then Albus pulled away leaving a small, paper thick space between them. Scorpius still had his eyes shut and felt Albus’ breath on his lips. He couldn’t ask for more. But Albus was still so close that he leaned forward again and copied Albus’ kiss. To his surprise, Albus opened his mouth and slowly pushed his tongue into Scorpius’ mouth. That was too good to be true. Scorpius wanted to last that moment forever. He leaned into the kiss, putting more enthusiasm into his movement. He needed more. He moved closer. The kiss got more intense and Scorpius totally lost himself in it. It came as a shock as Albus softly pulled away and looked down. He wasn’t blushing. He simply licked his lip and bit it afterwards. Then he looked up in Scorpius eyes. Something like guilt mirrored in his eyes.   
Scorpius first didn’t get it but then it hit him: To Albus it was simply the favor he had asked him for - nothing more. Although it felt so right to Scorpius. How could Albus not feel that? They shared so much, why not that feeling? He tried to calm down. Of course, he had only hurt himself even worse with that action, but if he was honest to himself he knew that before.   
Both boys realized that THIS hadn’t been a good idea at all.   
Albus cleared his throat. “Are you ok?”   
Scorpius quickly nodded. He hated the silence that followed.  
“Albus…” Scorpius finally managed to break the heavy atmosphere. “Is there a chance that you’ll ever feel the same for me?”   
Now Albus looked hurt. Scorpius knew that this expression meant that Albus felt not bad for himself, but bad for what he was going to say to Scorpius.   
“I wish I would.” He shook his head desperately. “It’s not like I haven’t thought about it after you confessed your feelings, but I’m attracted to girls. That doesn’t mean I don’t love you. I think it’s just a different kind of love.”   
Scorpius looked at him and swallowed. He pressed his lips together so that he was able to regulate his breath. But that couldn’t suppress the tears from falling. Now Albus looked even more hurt. Scorpius felt ashamed.   
“Sorry.” He managed to say.   
“Don’t be. There is nothing you need to apologize for.” Albus pulled him into a hug. Scorpius enjoyed that hug and internalized that this was all he’d ever get from Albus. Nothing more.   
They stayed like that for a while.   
“We should get some sleep. You need to get up early tomorrow.” Albus said. “Good night, Scorp.”  
Scorpius could still feel Albus on his lips, like a shadow. His eyes burned. He felt sick and something like panic or inner urgency floated his body. It was worse than crucio. 

 

Teddy carefully cracked the door open and sneaked in.  
“Pssstt… Scorp, are you sleeping already?”  
“Yes…” Scorpius groaned.  
“Haha, funny.” Teddy said sarcastically and entered. He quietly closed the door behind him. “Vicci send me here… she thought I might have gone too far earlier.”  
“Never mind. Don’t really feel like talking. Good night, Teddy.” Scorpius said without moving.  
Now Teddy got more serious. “I’m sorry. I mean it. I know it’s not easy for you.”  
“I know you can’t send Albus away. I’ll deal with it...Now leave me alone.”   
“You mind?” Teddy asked and without waiting for an answer, he climbed on his bed and under his blanket.   
Scorpius turned around. “Seriously? Vicci, can come in any minute.”  
“Don’t worry. It’s not like we’re … naa, just forget it. Why does it bother you that Albus stays here?” Teddy put an arm on the other boy’s side as a matter of course.  
“I just need some space between us right now. It’s not like I can switch off my feelings. Nothing much changed in our friendship, but he made clear that he didn’t like me like that… that doesn’t mean I want him less.” Scorpius said honest, slightly distracted by Teddy’s hand on his side.   
“You’ll find someone better.”   
Scorpius rolled his eyes. “That’s just a stupid phrase.”  
Silence filled the room.  
“Teddy, I think there is a dark side in me.”  
“We all have one.” Teddy brushed it aside.  
“No, not like that… “ Scorpius cut him off. “I have seen myself in another light – during the time travel. I was someone else, the worst possible version of me and I fear that it might come out now… now that Albus is out of my reach.”   
Teddy just looked at him seriously.   
“But I’m fighting it…” Scorpius paused and smiled sadly. “Snape did see right through me. He said it only needs one person and then he said I should think about Albus when the Dementors attacked me…when I was dying. I didn’t understand it at that time, but I do understand it now.”  
“If you’re ready, you’ll find someone who you’ll love. Maybe differently – not in a way you love Albus, but you’ll see that this doesn’t mean that you love someone less. It’s true, you won’t ever find anyone comparable to Albus and you might think that’s the reason you’ll always love Albus most, but you’re mistaken. You can love someone for different reasons. Don’t compare. It’s the worst you can do. And if you’re ready, you’ll defiantly find love. You’re much too young to be hurt like that.”  
“Hmmm… I hope you’re right, but I rather don’t believe it’s a matter of age.” Scorpius closed his eyes and frowned. He hated being reduced by his age.  
Suddenly he felt Teddy’s lips on his own. Scorpius eyes shot open.   
“Don’t!”   
“Why?”  
“Don’t you see, you’re just hurting me worse.” Scorpius suddenly said angry.  
Teddy didn’t expect such a reaction.  
“Vicci is surly waiting for you.” Scorpius said colder.  
Teddy looked at him for a heartbeat. “Yeah… you’re right.” He said just as cold as Scorpius.   
Then he got up and left his room.


	10. Chapter 10

The next week, Scorpius worked overtime to impress his boss… ok that was a lie, he wanted to avoid Albus. But there was a light at the end of the tunnel, after sneaking into work life and meeting new, interesting people, he was sure, time might be able to heal his wounds.   
After his last day, his colleagues invited him for a drink. He was glad he could spend the evening with them. To know that, when he finally finished Hogwarts, he could return here made him feel pure relief. And now that he had an aim, he was willing to work hard – he won’t let either Albus nor Teddy be the reason he was going to be abstracted in any way.

As he went home to Teddy’s flat, he was truly happy for the first time in a while. He got his keys out and unlocked the door. Immediately, Teddy turned around the corner. His hair was silver.   
“Merlin, Scorp!” He looked quiet angry but sounded worried. “Where have you been? Do you know what time it is??” He said uncomprehending.   
“Sorry, I was invited. Today was my last day. I just forgot about time.”   
“You could have at least send me an owl.”   
“I said sorry.” Scorpius took his jacket off.  
Teddy made some steps forward and grabbed his arms. “I was worried something happened.” He said honestly.   
“Well, you’re not my boyfriend. You made that very clear. So, no need to worry…” Scorpius said dry and pulled his arm out of the other boy’s grip. 

 

Saturday. It was past ten and like several weekends before: They all were drunk. Scorpius tried not to stick to Albus or Teddy the whole time. He was at the bar, getting another drink as Albus pulled on his arm.   
“There are Polly Chapman and some others from our year… shall we say hello?” Albus asked.  
Scorpius looked at the small Hogwarts group and back at his friend, not understanding why he would want something like that at all.  
“Let me think about it… NO!” Scorpius raised an eyebrow.   
“Don’t be such a killjoy.” Albus rolled his eyes.  
“I don’t get it. That’s Polly Chapman and her group of limited fan zombies. She bullied us until we were in fifth grade, remember?!” Scorpius said annoyed.   
“Yeah, that was two years ago. I just wanna say hi. It could be fun.”  
“Then have fun. I won’t hold you back, but I won’t join you either.”   
“Fine. Just forget it.” Albus turned around and left.

Scorpius sat down on a chair at the bar. “Another Sunrise please.” He ordered.   
“I’ll pay.” A voice said beside him. Scorpius looked at his left. He didn’t know the guy.   
“Ehh… thanks.” Scorpius replied caught off guard.  
The guy smiled. “You’re welcome… was that your boyfriend?” He asked curious referring to Albus.  
Scorpius took a deep breath. “No. But definitely as complicated as a boyfriend… “  
The guy laughed. “So, you’re single then?”  
Scorpius had gained more confidence over the past weeks, so he decided flirting wouldn’t hurt: “Yes. I’m single.” He smirked and drank something from his cocktail.   
Now the guy grinned even brighter. They had some small talk and then the guy offered him a hand. Scorpius took it and they made their way to the dancefloor. While dancing the guy got closer. Scorpius immediately made several steps back. He didn’t want that the other Hogwarts students to see him with some guy. They would easily figure that he was gay. Actually, he didn’t care much anymore about anyone finding out, but it would make his last weeks in school way more complicated and his life was defiantly complicated enough. He made a gesture like he was coming back soon and left the dancefloor.  
Meanwhile, Albus came over. Their conversation from half an hour ago was forgotten.  
“Scorp, you won’t believe it.” He shook him euphorically. “Teddy came with me and talked to Polly for a while and now she’s flirting with me. With me… can you believe that? I mean she’s like the most popular girl in school.”   
Scorpius didn’t know which part of Albus sentence made him even angrier: Teddy helping Albus getting a chance to snog Polly… although he knew quiet well that Scorpius still had to deal with Albus rejection, or the fact the Albus asked HIM if he could believe that someone would flirt with him… or that Polly’s popularity was now worth mentioning, after all the years they spend hating her. He’d love to slap Albus into his face right now. He pulled himself together and simply put down his friend’s arms.   
“Good luck. Hope you get what you want tonight…I need some fresh air.” Scorpius said bitter and left.   
He sat down outside. Time passed incredibly quickly. As he went back inside he froze. Albus was making out with Polly in the middle of the dancefloor. Now – for the first time – Scorpius became awfully aware that his love would NEVER be returned. He told himself that before a hundred times but seeing Albus kissing and enjoying it the way he did in that very moment, let no room for interpretation: Scorpius would NEVER get that look from Albus, no matter what he did. Scorpius couldn’t tell what exactly he was feeling right now. For a brief moment, he was rooted to the ground and everything seemed to stop around him. He would never be loved by Albus. On top of his hurt and frustration he felt anger rose inside him. The combination was leading to no good. Without much further thinking he was ready to act self-destructing. Although he didn’t consciously was aware what he was doing… he simply didn’t care.   
He went over to the guy, with whom he was dancing before. He was still on the dancefloor… he even forgot his name. He was handsome and fit although Scorpius didn’t feel very attracted to him. He typed on his shoulder and smiled, signalizing him he was back and ready to party. They danced. Now Scorpius won’t think about the consequences. He got closer and closer and soon Scorpius had his arms around his shoulders. He felt the hands of his dancing partner on his ass. That hint was easily to decode, and he leaned forward and before he realized what was happening, he found himself kissing intensely. Deep down Scorpius knew why he kissed that guy. He wanted that Albus got jealous. Of course, he knew that his action was senseless, but he needed to do something to proof that he was worth being dated. While kissing he shortly opened his eyes to see if Albus attention shifted from Polly to him… and it did. The whole group of seventh-year-Hogwarts-students stared at them. Some shocked, some amused, some disgusted. Scorpius immediately closed his eyes again and slowly started to think that THIS wasn’t his best idea. What he didn’t noticed at that point was that someone was driven insane by jealousy … but it wasn’t Albus. He broke the kiss. The guy pulled him closer again.   
“You’re kissing damn well… I guess there are other things you’re good at.” He whispered into his ear.  
“Far more things than you imagine.” Scorpius didn’t know why he answered that… he actually didn’t care much about what he was thinking. His view shifted through the room and he noticed that Teddy casually leaned against a wall and stared at him with a killing glance. He didn’t take his eyes of him even as their eyes met. Scorpius held the view for a while until someone addressed him:  
“Scorpius? Did you listen? Shall we go to my apartment?” Scorpius just then noticed that he was still wrapped up in a conversation.  
“What?” He concentrated back on what was happening in front of him. The guy looked meaningful at him.  
“I…” Scorpius swallowed. “Sorry. That’s not a good idea. It’s just… it’s complicated. I need to leave.” 

Scorpius pushed his way through the dancing crowd to the cloakroom. There was a row and Scorpius begged that no one would talk to him. As Scorpius got his jacket he made his way straight to the door but bumped into Albus and the small group of mixed houses.  
“Scorp?!” Albus asked surprised.   
“I’m leaving.” He simply said.  
“What just happened? I thought you didn’t want to come out in front of the whole school.” Albus asked perplexed.   
“Technically, they are not the whole school.”  
“You know what I mean. Who was that guy?”  
“Someone I met at the bar…” He ignored what Albus said before.   
Albus stared at him.  
“Are you leaving with him?”  
“What if?” Scorpius asked provocative.  
“Emm… I just thought you’d take dating more seriously. You aren’t the type who take thing that easily.”  
Scorpius hated that Albus knew him so well. He couldn’t lie to him. He knew exactly who he was.  
“I mean it’s your first time, right?! You really deserve someone better… someone special.”  
“You know nothing about my sex life, Albus: No… it would not be my first time. But that guy who is fucking me defiantly doesn’t deserve me.”  
“What??? Why didn’t you tell me?”  
“Guess.” Scorpius said dead serious.   
“I thought we can still talk about everything. Just be honest.”  
“All right. Then don’t tell me, that YOU are taking dating seriously?” Scorpius looked at Polly and back to Albus.  
“She is really nice. We talked a lot and things just turned out like this… I didn’t even intend to kiss her. She kissed me.”  
“Congratulations Albus. Again, one of your great decisions in life. Now go fuck Polly as twenty guys before you.” Scorpius didn’t recognize himself. He was hurt, and he wanted that Albus felt the same pain as he did.  
“You are just pissed cause I don’t want to fuck you!” Albus shouted.  
Scorpius froze. That one sentence hit Scorpius harder than any curse. Anger arose within him, he turned around and punched Albus as hard as he could in the face. He pushed him down on the floor and hit him several times. Albus simply defended himself.   
“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said that!” Scorpius saw that Albus immediately wanted to take back what he just said. He meant it.  
But nothing Albus said, would calm his nerves. Scorpius couldn’t believe he said something like that. As he didn’t stop Albus hit his best friend as well. Scorpius lip was now bleeding. Some people came over to watch. Both boys were in rage. Scorpius couldn’t stop, and he didn’t want to stop. He ignored the people around him and took out his wand. He was on top of Albus, who immediately stopped struggling.   
“Don’t!” Albus said shocked.   
Scorpius tightened his grip around his wand. He was ready to hurt Albus. There was pure rage in his eyes.   
“You’ve gone too far.” The rage was replaced by tears.  
Suddenly he was pulled away from behind. Teddy had one arm around his chest, with his other hand he tightened the grip around his waist, so that he couldn’t use the wand. Teddy quickly tightened his grip. He probably used that trick often as Auror. Scorpius could only drop his wand by the pain he felt in his wrist.  
“Scorpius, calm down!”   
“Let go!” Scorpius screamed.   
“I will, if you calm down.”   
Scorpius had no other choice.   
James kneed down beside Albus.   
“How about you all continue what you were doing.” Victoire called out to the staring crowed.   
Scorpius got up as Teddy let go and quickly took his jacket and his wand. He rushed out of the club, ignoring the calls of his name. Out on the street he started running – aimless. He didn’t know where he was or in which direction he was running. He just wanted to bring as much distance between him and the rest of the world. After a while he leaned against a wall heavily panting. He opened his eyes. Great, he had no idea where he was. He decided to keep on walking. What time was it anyway?   
On his way he passed a bakery. The smell of warm sweets and bread made him realize how hungry he actually was. He still wasn’t sober but not as drunk as two hours ago. He pressed his head against the store window. The café was closed, but there was a dimed warm light in the back. Scorpius softly knocked on the glass. To his surprise someone turned around the corner. He waved at the girl and she opened up.   
“Sorry, to disturb. I know you’re closed but … may I buy something?”   
She started at him.   
“Actually, we’re not open that early but I guess you’re lucky. I just finished baking. You can come inside and warm up if you want.”  
Scorpius gladly accepted the offer. The girl disappeared into the back of the café and came back with a huge cup of chocolate.  
“You look like you could need that. Hard night?” She handed him the cup.  
Scorpius looked up. “Honestly… yes.”   
“Wanna talk about it?”   
Scorpius shook his head.   
“It’s just fine. I’ll finish my work and then you can order.” She smiled kind.

 

Meanwhile the sun came up. Scorpius had rested his head on the table and gave in to weight that lasted on his heavy eyelids. Someone entered and sat down on the opposite side. Scorpius felt a hand on his head. Someone stroked his hair. He sleepily looked up.  
“How did you find me?”  
“I’m an Auror, that’s my job.”  
“Now I’m a criminal?”   
Teddy laughed. “Merlin, you’re adorable.”  
“I’d rather not be.” Scorpius said grimly.  
“Breakfast for two?” The girl interrupted their conversation.  
“That would be great.” Teddy answered without asking Scorpius.  
“Oh, are we having a date now?”  
“The sun rose already. So, you can’t call it a date anymore. Why are you angry at me, Scorpius?”   
“I don’t know… why are you angry at me?”  
“I’m not.”  
“I saw your glance when I kissed that guy.”   
“I’m just taking care of you. I’m worried about you.”   
“You’re not supposed to be my older brother.”  
“But I’m not supposed to be your boyfriend either.”  
“Why are you acting like it then?”  
“Finally finished.” The waiter interrupted them a second time and both boys immediately stopped discussing. She placed a small basket with several different types of bread and rolls and coffeepot on the table.  
“That looks awesome.” Scorpius grinned. “I’m gonna eat that all alone. I won’t share one piece with you!”   
“You get the sweet rolls… deal?!” Teddy smirked.   
“Deal.” Scorpius started eating.  
“Who was that guy anyway?” Teddy asked with his mouth full.  
“Does that matter?”   
“Well I just…”  
“Could we just not talk about that.” Scorpius cut him off.  
“So, you regret it.”   
“I didn’t say that.”  
“I know you.”  
Scorpius didn’t answer.  
“Why did you help Albus to get Polly’s attention?” Scorpius suddenly asked.  
“Well, he deserves some fun and he seemed happy. I just helped him to start a conversation. Not everyone is a natural in flirting.”   
Scorpius rolled his eyes.   
“I mean why shouldn’t I help him?”  
“You know why!” Scorpius said angry.  
“Are you honestly thinking that he’ll wake up one morning and suddenly be gay? You think it’ll help you move forward if you drown yourself in self-pity because he doesn’t return your love?”   
The words hit Scorpius unexpected. He looked away and thought about leaving but something held him back.   
“I am sorry. That wasn’t supposed to sound like an accusation.”  
Scorpius kept quiet for a while and simply ate.  
“Why are you here Teddy?”  
“I was searching for you. I told you I was worried.”  
“That’s not what I meant.”  
“I know what you mean. But there is no other reason.”   
Scorpius looked down.  
“Did you ever wanted a guy as much as you wanted Victoire?”   
Teddy started at him, obviously thinking about what he should answer.  
“Yes.”   
“But you won’t tell me about it, because I’m just an affair… or whatever.”  
Teddy hesitated.  
“There was a guy I ran after for an eternity, long before I met Vicci. He was to me what Albus is to you. And I was as desperate as you’re now. We were friends, but I wanted to be close to him in a way he couldn’t understand. It took years until I finally got over him. I met Vicci and we were the perfect match. Everything was easy with her and she wasn’t judging my past, although she knew everything about me. It was my first serious relationship. Everything went perfectly fine until the boy I had ran after suddenly noticed what he missed, now that I was out of reach. One night he said he wanted me. I couldn’t believe it. I’m not proud about what happened but I gave in pretty quickly and cheated with him on Vicci. I confessed to her the next day. She just wanted to know why I did it and I explained it to her. She could understand it and we made “arrangements”. I told you we’re having an open relationship with some rules or rather compromises. It works for both of us.”   
Teddy looked at him, expecting any kind of reaction.  
“Thanks for telling me.” Scorpius said honestly. “Did you tell her about us?”   
Teddy’s facial expression got serious.  
“No.”  
Scorpius was surprised and a bit happy but felt bad at the same time. So, HE meant something different to Teddy even if he won’t admit it. That was the proof. He suppressed the upcoming feeling of hope - the hope that he could reach out for something real… although he didn’t really know how that would look like.  
“Why not?”  
Teddy crossed his arms in front of his chest.  
“Because I break the rules with you, I told you that before.”  
Scorpius rubbed his eyes. He could hardly concentrate anymore. The tiredness felt heavy. Meanwhile it was eight in the morning.  
“And what now?”   
“We’re going home. You get some sleep and tomorrow you leave for Hogwarts.”  
“And then I won’t ever hear from you again?”  
“Of course not.”  
Scorpius rested his head on the table.  
“Hogwarts is going to be so annoying.” He groaned.   
“Yeah, by now the whole school probably knows you’re gay.”  
“That’s not helping.”   
Teddy laughed. “Come on.” He paid for both and then they left the café.  
“That was a nice date, don’t you think?!” Scorpius smirked.   
Teddy put an arm around his shoulder and took a deep, desperate breath.  
“Yes… it was.”


	11. Chapter 11

Hogwarts was hell. The whole school – of course – instantly knew about his sensational coming-out at the party and he felt like everyone was permanently staring at him. Sure, most students were just fine with it, but Scorpius couldn’t shut out the whispers:  
“It’s not normal. It’s simply wrong.”  
“Just look at him, he’s defiantly gay.”  
“He just needs attention.”  
“Doesn’t he feel ashamed?”  
“I don’t buy it. As soon as he finds a girl, he’ll be straight in a second.”  
“Eeewww… just hope I don’t catch him kissing Potter.”  
“The poor guys who share a dorm with Malfoy.”  
“I’ve heard he doesn’t get along with his father. It’s an open secret. No surprise he’s compensating it.”   
He even heard a teacher saying: “It’s just a phase.”

Albus was there for Scorpius. Whenever he could, he protected him by confronting those whispering students:  
“Just stop gossiping you brainless idiots. You’re pathetic.”   
Albus did suffer, too, because one rumor was that they were a couple. Albus could never deal well with provocations, but he pulled himself together for Scorpius. He had promised him. On top, he tried his best that things didn’t feel weird between them, but Scorpius couldn’t deny that after they kiss and their fight in the club, an invisible barrier had grown between them.

As predicted, Teddy stopped answering his letters, but it was the worst possible time. Scorpius disappointment cut deep, deeper than he had expected. He had opened up to Teddy, but he let him down. His life was a mess and the only one who could truly understand his situation, ignored him. Their last day together was just perfect, but Scorpius knew that things had gotten too close between him and Teddy. And Teddy would always choose Victoire above everyone.

The more time passed, the less people were talking.  
Things became easier for Albus as he found himself in a relationship with Polly Chapman. Scorpius tried hard to pretend that he felt happy for him, but both knew each other well enough to know that this was a lie. Anyway, both had to live with it, otherwise their friendship would have been damaged even worse. Scorpius didn’t trust her at all. She was fake. She just used Albus. He hated her for that. 

 

Scorpius was in the Owlery making one last attempt to reach out for Teddy. He felt as alone as never before.  
“Here you are.” Albus entered panting from running all the way up.  
Scorpius quickly handed his letter to his owl and she flew away.   
Albus was in good mood. “Are you still not telling me who that guy is you’re owling with?!”   
Scorpius stared at him blankly. Normally they avoid that topic for all cost.   
Albus chuckled. “You should see your face. Oh, come on, we should start talking about those things. I mean we talk about everything, right?!”  
Still Scorpius couldn’t manage to answer.  
“Are you owling that guy you kissed in the club?”  
Scorpius shook his head.  
Albus walked over and sat down beside his friend. He looked at him meaningful. “Are you writing the guy you slept with?” He raised an eyebrow.  
Scorpius blushed and quickly looked down.  
Albus knew he hit a nerve.  
“Still not telling me who it is?!”  
Scorpius took a deep breath. “I can’t, ok?”   
Albus got more serious. He didn’t like the lack of trust Scorpius showed him. It never happened before.  
“Fine.” He simply said.   
Scorpius stared at him distrustful. Usually Albus didn’t give up so soon.  
“But you could give me some advices… ”   
Scorpius didn’t get it. “Advices…?”  
“Polly wants to sleep with me!” Albus said euphorically.   
“There is that secret Gryffindor Party at the weekend. Only selected people are invited. It’s totally exclusive and you’ll get a note with the location shortly before it starts. Polly said she’ll put you on the guest list. Isn’t that nice? I mean there are only a few students from other houses invited.”  
While Albus explained everything with a wide grin, Scorpius realized that he probably only brought that topic up because he felt the urge to talk about his triumph of getting Polly Chapman into his bed. But he was willing to play Albus’s game - For the sake of their friendship.   
“Soooo….?” Albus pulled him out of his thoughts. “Any Advices?”   
Scorpius hesitated. “My best advice is…. Break up with Polly.”  
Albus rolled his eyes annoyed and sighed. “Great thanks. I know you don’t like her. Can’t we just leave that fact aside for a second and just talk?”  
“She uses you and you’re blind. I mean …” Scorpius prepared a perfect argumentation why Albus should immediately stop seeing her, but he didn’t get far.  
“Scorpius,…” Albus said in a tone, he wasn’t expecting. More serious and kind of angry and way louder than usual.   
“It won’t work that way! I’ll tell you that once: Polly is my girlfriend and I think I love her… “  
Scorpius swallowed, and he knew he had crossed a line.   
“… I mean I maybe love her… I’m in love with her… however, doesn’t matter. Look, I really want that our friendship works. I want it back to the point where we understood each other blindly, where we could talk about everything and where we could simply have fun without carefully choosing every fucking word.” Finally, Albus spilled out what both had been thinking for weeks.  
“I don’t need you to like Polly. But you won’t talk me out of that relationship. Accept it, or …I don’t know if our friendship will survive that.”   
Those words hit Scorpius unexpected. He needed to make a decision. Now.   
Obviously, in Albus eyes, it took him too long to answer. Albus stood up and was about to leave the Owlery. Scorpius panicked. He couldn’t lose Albus. Not him, too.  
“Foreplay!” He quickly said.   
Albus turned back around. “What?!” He said uncomprehending.   
Scorpius smiled.   
“Foreplay is important.”   
Albus cracked a smile and walked back to Scorpius. Obviously as relieved as Scorpius that their friendship got another shot.  
“Wanna go down to the lake?” Albus proposed.  
Scorpius smiled and nodded. They made their way down to the lake.  
“The thing is…. I have no idea what to do. What she likes or what she hates. I don’t want to make a mistake.” Albus said.  
“You’ll find out. She reacts to things you do. Take your time. Put more effort in the foreplay. I mean… It’s fun…” Scorpius suddenly blushed. “And you should probably jerk off before you meet her. Then you last longer.”   
He didn’t know how much he was supposed to tell Albus. He actually wanted to talk about some stuff as well. He shortly looked up at Albus, unsure if he was supposed to continue.   
Albus continued asking all kind of things that came to his mind. Meanwhile they settled under a huge tree at the lake.  
“Albus, you can’t plan your first time like that. Just let it happen. You’ll have enough chances to find out what you two like.” Scorpius didn’t want to answer too detailed.  
“Don’t think too much.” He said unconsciously. DON’T THINK TOO MUCH. Teddy’s words echoed in his mind. He had told him over and over again. He guessed it had found a way in his head.  
“Scorp, you told me you had your first time, but by all you’re telling me… it wasn’t only that one time, was it?” Suddenly Albus focused on Scorpius.   
Scorpius looked at the opposite site. He didn’t like how the conversation turned out. “No… There were several times.” He admitted.  
Albus mouth slightly fell open.  
“Do you actually like him, or is it just about sex?”  
“It’s complicated.” Scorpius said quiet.  
Albus needed a while to interpret his friend’s expression.   
“You are in love with him.” It wasn’t a question and Scorpius hated how well Albus knew him.  
“You never mentioned anyone!” Albus said shocked that no one came to his mind who would fit into the profile. Indirectly he expected Scorpius to tell him who it was.  
No one said anything for a while until the heavy silent became unbearable.   
“Who is it? Did you meet him at work?” Albus now asked explicitly.   
“I can’t tell you.” Scorpius said torn apart. He wanted to tell him but he had promised Teddy not to tell anyone ESPECIALLY not Albus. If the Potters or Weasleys find out, Teddy would lose everything.  
“Scorp, I just thought we were back at the point that we were WE.”   
How could Scorpius possibly explain it?  
“Scorpius!” Albus said forcing.  
“It doesn’t matter! He isn’t answering!” He now raised his voice. “He isn’t answering any of my letters at all. Yes, I’m in love with him, but he just used me.”  
That confession immediately cut Albus off.   
“This is not about hiding anything from you. I’m hurt, ok?! And I really don’t wanna talk about it. I’m so damn stupid.”  
It was a way to stop Albus from asking any further but unfortunately it was true and saying aloud for the first time, did hurt him.  
Albus swallowed. “I had no idea. I’m sorry you didn’t feel like you could tell me that.” He said apologizing.   
Scorpius whished Albus wasn’t sitting right beside him and staring with such concern. He covered his eyes with his hand. Albus rested his hand on his shoulder until he calmed down.


	12. Chapter 12

Saturday. Scorpius had no idea how Albus convinced him, but he found himself on a Saturday night in the Gryffindor common room with Polly Chapman, Albus and other chosen members of their highly exclusive club and waited for a hint where the Secret Party took place. Soon enough Albus was glued to Polly’s lips and Scorpius felt the urge to get drunk as soon as possible. Everyone seemed to tolerate the fact the he was invited by Polly – at least no one said anything against it.   
At 10 pm a note came flying. Polly caught it and read aloud. Everyone’s attention shifted towards her.   
“That one is good!” She announced. “I’ll see you all in Green House 5.” She smiled.   
There was cheering.   
“We go first.” She now only addressed Albus, Scorpius and a smaller group of her friends.  
Then they left the Gryffindor Tower.   
Scorpius didn’t quiet get what was going on. “Question… Aren’t the perfects gonna notice that so many people are missing.”   
Everyone had to be in their own Common Room at 12.   
Polly just shook her head. “Some perfects are part of this club. It’s well organized. They switch their shifts with other perfects who are not on the inside. It’s ridiculously easy because everyone is happily accepting not to work on a Saturday Night. Then only one of our perfects keeps watch and the others are out partying. We walk to the location in small groups to make sure that we don’t catch that much attention.”  
They made their way down the corridors and slipped out of a small side entrance. It was a chilling spring night and pitch dark. “Lumos.” They followed the long stairway down to the edge of the Forbidden Forrest.  
“That’s awesome!” Albus said stunning. “I mean you’re awesome.”   
Scorpius rolled his eyes but didn’t comment on it.  
“Thanks darling, but it’s not me who organizes those parties.” She admitted. “I’m just helping.”  
“Then who is it?!” Scorpius asked curious.  
“Well,… I dunno.” Polly said thoughtful. “I only get instructions in a letter.”   
“And you never question any of it?” Scorpius asked unbelieving.  
“Of course, I did. I spent almost my whole sixth year with research who’s behind all of that.”   
“And?”   
“Nothing!” She said desperate. “I never found out.”  
“Now I am curious.” Albus said. He was holding hands with her and smiled brightly.   
Polly turned towards Albus. “This is going to our night!” She kissed him, and Scorpius quickly looked away. 

 

They reached the last Green House which was not used for classes. Only teachers were allowed to work here and do research. Polly pulled out a key which had been in the letter. Then she opened.   
Both Albus and Scorpius stopped immediately as they entered. The Green House was huge. There were two floors. White Spiral Stairs lead to the second floor. Everything was illuminated by little flying lights. Flowers in every color lined the way, the dancefloor and the bar.

It took some time until everyone arrived.   
“Oh Al, where did you say are we going to spend the Holidays with your family?” Polly asked inf front of her friends.  
“The cottage in Cornwall.” Albus replied.  
“And who will be there?”  
“Oh, lots of my relatives are coming to visit. It’s always like that.” Albus said not so happy. He actually hated it when his whole family was around.   
“Will you all introduce them to me?” Polly asked using her sweetest voice.   
“Of course!” Albus acted as he fell into a Love Potion.  
Scorpius felt his heart on his sleeve. HOW could Albus not see that she was just using him?!  
“I need a drink. Where is the bar?” Scorpius asked annoyed.   
“Oh, I’m gonna show you.” Polly said as a matter of course. “I’ll be back in a second.” She kissed Albus deeply and Scorpius had the feeling she did that on purpose. But maybe he was just jealous.   
“I’m perfectly fine searching that bar alone.” He turned around but immediately felt Polly linking arms with him.  
What the hell? He thought.  
As they were out of sight and hearable reach, she let go of his arm.   
“Let’s just be honest, because I don’t really want to waste my time with you.” She said. “Albus told me that you’re into him.”  
Scorpius was shocked but tried not to look too betrayed. “No need to worry. Albus only has eyes for you.” He said bitter. “Is that all? I’d really like to get a drink now.”  
“I don’t like how you’re staring at me. You don’t trust me, do you?!”  
Scorpius raised an eyebrow. “No, I don’t. I know you’re only using Albus, but he can’t or rather doesn’t want to see that. You probably just want to meet his famous family.”  
She smirked. “Thanks for your honesty. You know, I’m ambitious, but unfortunately, I’m not the best student in our year. Anyway, only well-chosen connections get you where you want to be.”  
That Polly scarily reminded him of the Polly he met in the Dark-Reality during Time Travel. How ironic that there, she wanted to be with him for all costs.   
“What do you want?”  
“Influence.”   
“Do you even like Albus?” Scorpius asked angry.  
“He’s a handsome guy but not really my type. He acts pretty weird sometimes. After all, I admit that you two would match perfectly. Such pity he isn’t into sucking digs.”  
It took Scorpius so much control to keep calm.  
“Why are you telling me all that?! Don’t you fear I’ll tell Albus our whole conversation right away?”   
“Something tells me he’ll believe me more than you.”  
She was right. Albus won’t listen to him when it came to Polly.   
“Why did you invite me to that Party?” Scorpius asked.  
“I wanted to make things clear between us: Albus is mine! And you won’t interfere in our relationship. Are we clear?”   
“Be careful. Maybe you shouldn’t be so sure who he trusts more.” Scorpius said provocatively.   
THAT wasn’t the answer she wanted to hear. Her lips formed into a thin line.  
“Anyway. We could have had that conversation anywhere. You didn’t have to invite me to that party.”  
Her expression grew colder. “Well, I had no choice.”  
“What do you mean?!” Scorpius asked perplexed.  
“It was an instruction.” She just explained shortly.  
“Wait… you do know quiet well who organizes these parties.”   
“Of course, I know!” She rolled her eyes.  
“Who is it?”  
She now smiled. There was something evil in it. “You don’t know?” It wasn’t a question and she grew more confident.   
“The bar is on the second floor. Have fun.” She simply said and turned around.  
Scorpius thought about running after her, or telling Albus, but there was no sense in it. He contemplated to leave, but a drink seemed a good idea. So, he went up to the bar and ordered. 

 

He decided to sit there for a while as suddenly Albus came up the stairs. He was searching for him and looked like he was going to kill Scorpius.   
“Really Scorp?! I thought we were over that point!”  
“What do you mean?”  
“Don’t play dumb. Polly is down there crying!”  
That bitch. He thought.  
“What did she tell you?” Scorpius said cold.  
“Everything. She told me that you made clear that you don’t support our relationship. You even threatened her. What have gotten into you? She even invited you here. She really is trying!”  
“Did you tell her that I’m in love with you?”   
“Merlin.” Albus sighed. “Yes, she is my girlfriend. I tell her everything!”  
“It was just something between us.”  
“She was really understanding, you know?! As I told her, she felt bad for you. If you want to be angry, fine! But don’t blame her.”   
“It’s not about that! I mean yeah I’m angry, but the thing is … she uses you for her…”  
“Stop it!”  
“You need to hear me out!”  
“No, I don’t. I won’t let you destroy what I have with her. She warned me that you’re not yourself and that you might say some things like that.”   
Scorpius couldn’t believe he was played like that by her.  
“What no! You got it all wrong.”  
“I really don’t know you anymore. You always said you never wanted to become that version of yourself that you have been in that dark and twisted reality when we used the Time Turner back then… but you’re on the best way to get there.”  
Scorpius mouth fell open. Albus had never said anything comparable which had hurt him like that.  
Albus shook his head. “Just… leave me alone. Both of us.”

 

Scorpius should have gone back to his dorm right away. But instead he ordered some more drinks. That was as worse as it could have gotten.   
He didn’t know how much time had passed, but suddenly Polly stood right in front of him again.  
“Leave me alone.” He said drunk in resignation.  
“I didn’t come to argue. Look, I do like Albus. Believe me or not.”  
“I’m not!”  
“Fine, but maybe I’m just too proud to admit it.”  
“Still not buying it.”  
“Whatever. What we both want is that Albus is happy, right?! He needs you as friend, and me as girlfriend. It can be a peaceful coexistence and I’m pretty sure you don’t want to lose him.” She paused. “I’ll tell Albus that we made up and that I got something wrong.”  
“What is the price?”  
“Stop interfering in my business or rather my relationship with Albus. And you can continue daydreaming about him and you in love.”  
She handed him a drink and held up her own bottle. “Deal?”  
Scorpius knew he had no options when he didn’t want to lose Albus forever. He took the drink and clinked glasses with Polly. Then he drank up. She smirked. 

 

After a while Scorpius made his way down to the dancefloor. Everything felt unfamiliarly weird. He was sweating. Is was cold sweat. He could hardly walk straight. Did he really drink that much?! Yes, he had some drinks he needed to admit to himself, but there was defiantly something wrong. He could hardly control where he was going. The small dancefloor was overcrowded. He bumped into several students who were complaining or abusing him.   
“Have you seen Albus?” He asked randomly whoever crossed his way. Most students just passed him or pushed him aside.  
Then he ran into Polly’s friends. “Do you know where Albus is?” He could hardly manage those words.   
The small group was laughing at him.   
“Please I need to find Albus.”   
They laughed louder.   
To Scorpius it seemed unreal and far away.   
“Polly and Albus have more important things to do right now.” A girl chuckled.   
Scorpius felt the urge to get out of that place. It was too small and too overcrowded. He couldn’t breathe. The air was thick and hot although he was shaking from a cold within him. What was happening to him?   
“Oh, aren’t you feeling so well?” A boy pushed him against a wall.   
“No one wants you here, fag.”  
“Don’t dare to disturb Polly and Potter.”   
“Leave me alone.” Scorpius tried to get back on his feet.  
There was still laughter.   
Somehow, he managed to get out of the Green House. Outside it had started to pour. Cold Spring Rain soaked his cloth. He fell on his knees. He could feel the grass underneath him. He inhaled deeply now that the air was fresh and cool. He coughed but tried to focus back on breathing. How could it be so cold? On top his neck hurt like hell.   
He needed to get back to his dorm. The way up to the castle seemed impossibly long. He pulled himself together and started to climb up the stairs. Everything was moving around him. He felt sick. He sat down to rest for a moment. The music was far away. At least he was half way there. He wished he could concentrate on a spell which made him feel better or warm him up, but his mind didn’t seem to work proper. He had buried his face in his hands.   
He didn’t know how long he sat there, but without warning he was pushed aside. His head was pushed down and he hit the cold stone stairs. The ache shot through his whole body and he could taste blood on his lips.   
“We’ve given you a competitive edge. But we knew you wouldn’t come far.” The Gryffindor guy from Polly’s group said derogatory.   
“You know Liv is outstanding when it comes to Potion.” He added.   
“Idiot! Don’t tell him!” The girl called Liv hit the boy.  
“Don’t worry. Tomorrow he won’t remember a thing. Merlin… you really knocked him out. You’re scary sometimes.”   
“Oh, stop flirting you two!” Another girl interrupted their conversation.  
Meanwhile Scorpius got back on his knees.  
“What do you want to proof?” A boy in the background addressed him.  
“Can we just hurry? I want to go back dancing. Teach him a lesson and then we can go back and inside. It’s fucking cold out here.”   
“Fine.” The two boys exchanged glances and stepped forward.   
One held Scorpius arms, but he couldn’t have fought back anyway. The other hit him with a spell right in his face and then in his stomach. Scorpius had already felt sick. By that punch he threw up.  
“Eeewww… disgusting.” A girl shouted.  
The boy who had hold him threw him on the ground.   
“Don’t forget to stay away from Polly! This is your last warning.”  
The boy kicked him in his side.   
That girl Liv took his wand and broke it.  
Then they left. 

He didn’t hear the abuses anymore. Only a high frequent tone.   
He closed his eyes. The rain was pouring on his face. He whished he wouldn’t feel the cold anymore. If he just laid there forever no one would notice. No one would care. Darkness muffled around him. It felt like Dementors attacked him. If he was kissed by them right now, he wouldn’t care. The pain washed over him. The music faded. He was lost.


	13. Chapter 13

Scorpius didn’t know how long he laid in the pouring rain. Suddenly the rain stopped to soak him. Far in the distance, he heard raindrops patter on something. The huge drops didn’t reach him anymore.   
“Scorp?” He heard a familiar and highly alarmed voice calling out his name. He didn’t now where to put it. It was too far away.  
“Scorpius? Do you hear me?” The concern grew louder.   
Scorpius tried to move but every move ached. Everything seemed out of reach.  
“Come on! Wake up!” He knew that voice but not the tone of it. The man almost screamed.   
He slowly forced himself to open his eyes.   
“Hey.” Was all the guy managed to say with at least some relief in his voice.  
That couldn’t be true! “Teddy?” He asked unbelieving, but his voice broke.   
Teddy leaned over him. His hair was almost silver white. He used a spell to create an invisible shelter from the rain.   
For a long moment nothing happened.   
Scorpius wondered if he was still drugged, but it looked like Teddy was crying. Deep down Scorpius felt ashamed that Teddy saw him like that. He felt pathetic. But most of all he felt nothing.  
“I’m gonna get you inside.”   
Without much hesitation, he slipped his arms under Scorpius legs and shoulder and lifted him up. Scorpius clenched his teeth as he felt a stabbing pain in his rips. He pressed a hand on his left side and buried his face in Teddy’s shoulder. The smell calmed him and in Teddy’s arms he felt safe.   
No one in Hogwarts was allowed to apparate. Teddy was no exception. So, he walked up the stairs with Scorpius in his arms.   
He didn’t say a word.   
Scorpius couldn’t think of a good reason Teddy was here.   
The way up was endless. Teddy’s breathing got heavier. But he didn’t slow down. Meanwhile Scorpius was shaking so badly from the cold and the shock that his wounds hurt even worse.   
Scorpius was fading.   
“We’re almost there. Hold on. Everything is going to be fine.” Teddy said out of his breath.  
Scorpius felt a heaviness taken over.  
“Stay with me…” Teddy now ran although he didn’t have much energy left.  
“Scorp!”   
The last thing Scorpius heard was Teddy who called out his name several times.

 

As they reached the hospital wing, Madame Pomfrey already came flying. She pressed a hand on her mouth – not her usual reaction to injuries. But she immediately got a hold of herself.  
Teddy slowly let Scorpius down on a bed. He was unconscious, his lips were blue, several wounds and bruises covered his face, blood dripped out of his mouth and nose.  
“Wait outside, Mr. Lupin.” She said strict.   
Teddy hesitated. “No, I’m gonna wait here.” He said in trance and shock as he saw Scorpius laying there.  
“You may seem to have forgotten how things work here. I won’t repeat myself. I can either take care of Mr. Malfoy or continue discussing with you. What do you prefer?”   
Teddy looked at Scorpius. “Sorry.” He apologized, but not addressing Madame Pomfrey.

 

Scorpius slowly moved. He didn’t open his eyes. Not just yet. Several blankets covered him. He could feel their heavy weight on his body. It was warm. A flash of memory crossed his inner eye. What had happened? … Right… He immediately wished he wouldn’t remember. His blurry memories were slowly put back together like a puzzle. What was true?   
He opened his eyes. He was in the Hospital Wing. How did he get here? Did Teddy really carry him last night? No. He had been drugged and it was probably a hallucination. It was night? He wondered. He would have guessed he was knocked out for several hours. He had lost all sense of time. To his surprise his body didn’t ache as bad as he expected. His view shifted from the ceiling to his side.   
For a short moment his heart stopped. He gasped. Beside him sat Teddy. He had rested his head right on the edge of Scorpius bed. His hair was still silver. He was fast asleep. Scorpius didn’t quiet know what to do. He looked around. He was alone. No other students were here. The old clock showed 4 am. He didn’t really want to wake Teddy. It would be awkward. Teddy had ignored every single letter. Why, of all people, did it have to be Teddy who found him? A part of Scorpius wished that he hadn’t seen him like that: hurt, broken and helpless. But another part was glad that he was there.  
Scorpius rolled aside. He flinched by the pain in his side. Then he reached out for Teddy’s arm without saying a word.  
Teddy made a noise like: let me sleep. But a second later his eyes shot open and he looked at Scorpius with an expression Scorpius didn’t know how to interpret.   
Time seemed to stop. Then Teddy inhaled relieved and closed his eyes for a second. His hair colored back to the original shades of blue.   
“How do you feel?” He asked quiet with a raspy voice.   
Scorpius looked away. He didn’t know how to answer that.  
“What are you doing here?”  
Teddy seemed to choose his next words carefully. “I needed to make sure you’re fine.”  
“I’m great.” Scorpius muttered ironically. “I guess you can go home then.” He added bitter.  
“If … you’re ok with it, I’d like to stay.”  
Scorpius looked at him unbelievingly.   
“Why?”  
“It’s complicated.”  
“Is that why you didn’t answer any of my letters?”   
Teddy bit his lip. It was unusual that he felt uncomfortable. There was guilt in his eyes. He just nodded.  
“Then I’ll make it easier: Go home. You’re not obligated to stay.”  
“I know you’re angry and you have every right to hate me, but…” Teddy paused. “… please don’t send me away.” Teddy said desperate.  
Scorpius didn’t recognize him. He behaved totally strange.  
“Ok. Will you explain to me what happened last night?”   
Teddy’s expression became more serious. “You were on that party, down in the Green House and you were drugged with a pretty effective Potion. We found it in your blood. I don’t really know what happened but later that night I found you half way on the stairs up to the castle.” He paused.   
He tried not to show any emotions, but Scorpius could see he was fighting. “Well you were beaten up pretty badly and I couldn’t tell how long you had been laying there in the rain.” Again, he paused and tried to keep calm, but his eyes became watery.   
Scorpius couldn’t believe he’d show him that much of himself. He only knew him calm, collected and confident. He had barely allowed him to see behind that mask.   
“I brought you here. Pomfrey patched you up. She’s pretty good in what she’s doing.” He cracked a smile, but it vanished instantly. “It was bad.” He added bitter. “You slept 48 hours.”   
Scorpius eyes widened in shock.   
“Did you stay here all the time?” He asked perplexed.  
“Mostly.”   
Scorpius needed a while to proceed these information.  
“Why were you in Hogwarts anyway?”   
“I should have told you earlier. I’m sorry! I’ve organized this party. I made sure you were invited, so I could meet you there and talk to you.”   
Scorpius didn’t see that coming.  
“Listen, during my school time I was the one who started all that. As I left Hogwarts I passed it on to another seventh-year student and he passed it on and so on… Now it had been James part to ensure that it is passed on, but he messed it up and asked me for help. I agreed. One last party…One last night with you.”  
“What do I have to do with all of this?”  
“I only agreed to organize the party to see you again. I instructed Polly to invite you. She is the student who is chosen to continue our tradition. Anyway, I had an urgent case at work, so I came much too late.”  
“Why did you want to meet me?”   
“Isn’t that obvious?” Teddy asked.  
“NO!” Scorpius had no clue what he was driving at.  
“I have feelings for you… I shouldn’t have.”  
“But you ignored me for weeks!”  
“I had my reasons and I’m not proud I let you alone when you needed me the most. I couldn’t hide my feelings form Vicci. I told you we have an arrangement: I can sleep with other boys, but no feelings involved. I broke the rules with you. She found out. It was my decision to stay distanced from you, because I knew I couldn’t resist as long as we keep in touch… but I missed you. So, I wanted to break the rules one last time. Explain everything to you, make a clear cut and then leave. But everything went awfully wrong. I never wanted that you get hurt! And I want you to know that I never used you. You were never just any guy.” Teddy was so unhappy and desperate.  
Scorpius swallowed.   
“What now?” Scorpius almost didn’t dare to ask.  
“I dunno.”  
“Are you going to leave?”  
“No.” Teddy shook his head. “I won’t leave you alone again.”   
He suddenly stood up and leaned down over Scorpius. Then for a heartbeat they looked at each other. Scorpius wanted him so badly. Teddy leaned forward and kissed him as if this was the first time.  
After they broke the kiss, Teddy hesitated. “Can I…” He pointed at the blanket.   
He usually always slipped into Scorpius bed without asking.  
Scorpius lifted the blanket, inviting him in. Teddy wrapped his strong arms around him gently and kissed his temple.  
“What if you don’t have to choose between Vicci and me?” Scorpius suddenly asked.   
“What?”  
“I could be your boyfriend. She could be your girlfriend. It doesn’t forcefully mean you have to lead two lives.”  
“Would that be ok for you?”   
“You love her, and she’ll always be a part of your life. I know that…”  
Now Teddy looked at him. “Yes, I love her, but… I love you, too.”   
Scorpius felt his face flushing and his heart beating so hard that it hurt. Then Teddy kissed him again. 

After a while of cuddling. Teddy broke the silence. “Scorp, are you going to tell me what happened last night?”  
Scorpius had buried his head in Teddy’s shoulder.  
“It was Polly who drugged me. She and her friends. She told me to stay away from Albus. I found our that she only uses him to get to his family and use their connections to gain more influence. Albus won’t listen to me. We had a fight. Then she made me drink something really disgusting. I didn’t pay much attention to it. Shortly afterwards, I felt sick and searched for Albus but he… he was gone with Polly. I tried to get back to the Common Room but Polly’s friends caught up… They wanted to stress that I shouldn’t interfere in Polly’s businesses. You know what happened then.”   
Teddy pulled him closer. “I’m so sorry.”  
“You must think I’m pathetic.”   
“What? That’s ridiculous. You were drugged and had majority against you. None of that is your fault!”   
“I don’t want to attend classes anymore. I just want to leave Hogwarts.”   
“I do understand that, but you’re way too good to break up school weeks before your graduation.”  
“I don’t know if I can go back.”   
“Let me talk to Minerva.” Teddy said. “I promise we’ll find a solution and they’ll pay for what they’ve done to you.”   
“It will make things only worse.”  
“I promise it won’t.”  
Scorpius enjoyed Teddy’s present. With every word he calmed him and after all that happened Scorpius was glad that he was with him - Warm and safe.  
He fell asleep in his arms.

 

The next morning, Scorpius woke up to find that Teddy was gone. Instead Albus sat beside his bed reading and eating some sweets.   
“Albus?” Scorpius asked unbelieving.  
Albus looked up and immediately put his book aside.   
“Morning … or rather afternoon.” Albus began.   
Scorpius felt the urge to explain everything to his best friend. Fortunately, Albus could read his mind:  
“You don’t have to explain anything. Teddy told me what happened. Polly and the others admitted what they had done… Polly is expelled, you know. I … I should have listened to you. I am sorry, I hate myself for being the reason why you’ve been hurt like that. I was so blind and stupid and…  
“I forgive you.” Scorpius interrupted him and smiled a little.  
Relief washed over Albus’ face.  
“I broke up with her – of course. The other students must face serious consequences, but they’re allowed to finish the year. You should have seen your dad. He was going insane in McGonagalls office.”  
“My dad was here?”   
“Yeah, sure. Every day. Minerva owled him as soon as Teddy did his Auror-thing.”   
“What do you mean?”  
“Well, everyone who attended that party were called for a questioning. First no one would say anything. They covered each other’s story. But Teddy somehow made them confess. Dad always says he’s brilliant in his job…”  
“Did … Teddy say anything else?”   
“What do you mean?” Albus asked confused.  
“ehh… nothing. I was just wondering if… doesn’t matter. How are you feeling about Polly?”  
“Well… she betrayed me in the worst possible way I can imagine, and she hurt you. I’m not sad … rather angry. But also angry about myself, that I didn’t see through her... And that I doubted you.” Albus said bitter.   
“How are you feeling?” He changed the topic.  
“I just wanna hide in here forever.” Scorpius said honestly.   
Albus weakly smiled, not knowing what to answer. They talked about what Scorpius had missed in classes and Albus got him some leftovers from the kitchen.


	14. Chapter 14

At breakfast, the post was delivered as usual. A tiny owl landed in front of him. She carried a small note on a beautiful parchment. Scorpius’ opened.  
“Dear Scorpius,  
I hope you’re feeling better. Can we meet? I know you’re not a massive Hogsmeade-fan and you rather prefer to stay in Hogwarts, but maybe you can make an exception for me this weekend?  
Love, Vicci.”  
Scorpius heart beat quicker. Teddy haven’t mentioned that she wanted to meet him – alone. Was she angry? It didn’t sound like it at all. But she probably was. Thousand thoughts shot through his head.  
“What’s wrong?” Albus asked with his mouth full.  
“Ehhh…” Scorpius couldn’t think of a proper answer. And: “my maybe-boyfriend’s girlfriend wants to meet me alone” wasn’t quiet an option.  
“Did you receive a letter from that mysterious guy?” Albus asked curious.  
“No!” Scorpius said directly.  
“Show me.” Albus reached out for the letter, but Scorpius pulled it away.  
Albus frowned. “More secrets?” He raised an eyebrow.  
“No… no secrets. It’s from Victoire. She’d like to go shopping and asked if I wanted to join her. We haven’t seen each other in a while, you know?!”  
“Oh. Ok.” Albus continued eating and focused back on his unfinished homework.  
Scorpius quickly answered and agreed meeting her there, although he had no idea what this upcoming talk was about.

On Saturday, Scorpius made his way up the little hill to Hogsmeade. He was nervous as hell. After his last week he had barely any energy left to discuss or justify himself. He liked Vicci a lot. And he didn’t want her to hate him.  
In the distance, he saw her waiting in front of the Three Broomsticks. People who passed her always turned back around. She hated that. She told him she was an eighth Veela which had been passed down by generations. Once she told him that, especially in school, she never knew who honestly liked her. But she admitted that it was way easier to get what she wanted.  
She waved at him smiling. Scorpius smiled back shyly. She was dressed as usual. Wasted black Jeans and dark Make-up around her eyes.  
“Hi.” He said as he finally stood in front of her.  
She hugged him. “Hi.”  
She looked at him and rested her hands on his arms. “How are you?”  
“Better.” He didn’t really want to talk about that.  
“You made US worry.”  
Scorpius looked down.  
“It’s fine if you don’t wanna talk about it. I just wanted to let you know, that’s all.” She smiled. “Where do you want to go?”  
Scorpius looked around. “Somewhere less crowded?”  
“Sounds good.” She linked arms with him and they went down a little side street.  
“How’s work?” Scorpius wasn’t quiet good in small talk, but he knew Vicci well so it was easier.  
“Don’t ask.” She sighed. “I’m working 24/7. At least it feels like it. There’s some interesting stuff going on. I’m often in New York to work for the MARCUSA. But my boss is such a loser. Do you remember how the former Minister Fudge was described in the History Books?”  
“Yeah?”  
“He’s just like him!”  
They talked about all kinds of things. 

Meanwhile they settled in a small café which was practically empty. Scorpius didn’t know it even existed. It was small but really beautiful. It was called: Kowalski’s Bakery.  
“Let’s get high on sugar.” Victoire proposed.  
They ordered almost everything which was on the menu. Then they shared so they could try everything.  
“What do you want to try first?” Vic’s eyes grew bigger.  
Scorpius laughed. “Cinnamon Roolls.”  
After a while Scorpius became quiet. “Why did you want to meet?”  
“Well, because we haven’t seen each other in a while and because of Teddy …obviously.” She said as a matter of course.  
He must have looked caught. He was totally unsure what to do.  
“Scorp, relax. It’s fine. I’m not angry if you think that.” It was like she could read his mind, but he needed to admit that he probably wasn’t difficult to decode.  
“I think I need to explain some things. Our relationship isn’t comparable to typical relationships. We never wanted to be labeled, we never wanted to create walls that limit us in any way. I need to admit that it didn’t work as we imagined it would have, and we ended up hurting each other. We’ve been through all kinds of shit and we’ve fallen in and out of love. We hated each other and acted self-destructing but – most important - found back together. I’ve never loved anyone as much as him. But that kind of love can absorb you. So, we decided we did need at least some rules. And it did work…”  
Now she cracked a smile. “…until he met you.”  
Scorpius swallowed. He felt guilty. How could he ever compete with Victoire after all those two had been through?  
“You know people gossip all the time. We’re not bothered by that at all. Of course, no one knows about our arrangements and our life style. We keep it secret. And we prefer that it stays that way. They wouldn’t understand and it’s really only OUR business. So to the outside, people think Teddy cheats on me when he’s in a club alone and leaves with some guy. But it’s fine, cause, no one would dare to directly confront me about what they think they’ve seen.”  
Again, she paused and simply looked at Scorpius.  
Somehow Scorpius was thrilled by what she was telling him. He was glued to her lips. He’d never thought about such a way of living. It was fascinating that she didn’t accuse him or Teddy. Instead she trusted him.  
“But now something changed.” She signalized that she meant him. “Maybe it’s a bit philosophically but we both do believe there are all kinds of love and love is not forcefully bonded to sexuality.”  
Scorpius had no idea what he was supposed to respond to that.  
“I know it’s a lot. But I’m here because Teddy likes you a lot … more than you probably think. I want to offer you to move in with us after you finished Hogwarts.”  
“What?” Scorpius doubted that he got that right.  
“You don’t have to answer right away. It’s just an offer. If it doesn’t work, we’ll find another way. First rule is: we talk about everything and we’re always honest.”  
Scorpius was speechless.  
Now Victoire looked unsure at him. “Oh Merlin, I was too direct, wasn’t I?! Fuck, that’s my problem. I probably totally confuse you.” She now panicked and buried her hand in her hair. “ok… is …. Is there anything I can do to make it less awkward? Do you have any questions? You… You can ask me anything.”  
Scorpius took a deep breath. His heart was pounding in his ears by imagining that life. Was that what he wanted? He wanted to be with Teddy definitely. But Vicci? Well, he liked her. They had grown close friends. But he surly doesn’t like her in a way he liked Teddy.  
“I just brought it up because Teddy told me that you said something like he didn’t forcefully have to live two lives and we interpreted that you were open to well… another kind of relationship. But that was not what you meant, was it?!” She guessed because Scorpius still didn’t answer her.  
“Can… can we go somewhere else. I think I need some fresh air.” Scorpius said diplomatically.  
“Sure.” Vicci said a bit concerned. It wasn’t the reaction she hoped to get.  
They walked at the edge of the forest and settle on a bench.  
“I’m sorry.” Victoire suddenly said after a long while of silence.  
Scorpius looked up surprised.  
“I know you’ve been through a lot lately and you have to deal with so many things beside your graduation. It was selfish to confront you with that. We don’t want you to shoulder even more.”  
“It’s just… I can’t imagine that life. Can… can I be together with Teddy and you will be ok with it?”  
“Yeah…that’s the plan. I mean I don’t know how our life would look like either. But you can be with Teddy in the way you want to be. And if you two need time alone, you can just tell me. Just how I’ll just tell you when I need time with him alone.”  
Was it that simple? Scorpius wondered.  
“Sounds too good to be true. Aren’t you jealous?”  
“Hmmm… no. Maybe I will. I don’t know. But the thing is: I do like you a lot and I understand why Teddy has fallen in love with you. It makes things easier for me.”  
Now Scorpius blushed.  
“Well, I do hope you like me, too…otherwise you maybe should tell me now, then we can stop that conversation here.” She cracked a smile and Scorpius chuckled.  
“Of course,… I do like you. But not in a way I like Teddy.” Scorpius admitted and looked down.  
“It’s fine! Really.” She smiled.  
“But how would our relationship be like?”  
“Like now. We’re friends, right? We’ll probably grew closer in any way.”  
Scorpius did like that thought. There was always only Albus who was his friend, but he realized that there are various kinds of friendships he never thought would work, even in Hogwarts. But the most unusual friendships turned out to be the ones which are most real. He counted himself and Albus in that category.  
“How did you find out Teddy liked me?” Scorpius needed to know.  
“He could barely hide it. He was thrilled when you wrote him that you’d move in during your intern week. When I came home from my business trip I saw how he looked at you. He was totally focused on you. He always told me what you were doing whenever you wrote him. After you kissed that other guy in the club he was going insane. He was in a bad mood for days… Thanks for that by the way…”  
She playfully glanced at him.  
“And last but not least… he moaned your name when we had sex.”  
Scorpius looked up shocked.  
His expression made Victoire laugh.  
Teddy was in love with him… Scorpius couldn’t believe it. But was Victoire’s offer an honest option?  
“What if I don’t want that kind of life? What if I just want to be with Teddy?”  
Victoire thought for a moment. “I do understand if you don’t want to contemplate our rather unconventional offer. We could meet again. All together. And talk about it. But even if I wasn’t part of his life anymore, he’d always choose to lead that lifestyle.”  
Scorpius had expected such an answer. He nodded. “Thanks for your honesty.”  
She smiled. “I think that was enough information for now.” She placed a hand on his shoulder. “You’re ok?”  
He took a deep breath: “Define ok.”  
She gave him an apologizing look because she knew it was definitely much to proceed.  
She walked him back to the gates of Hogwarts. The students slowly found their way back here, now that it was getting dark. Victoire looked up the castle, lost in her thoughts.  
“Just hold on a bit longer… well, that’s easy for me to say, hmmm...”  
Scorpius turned towards her. “Thanks for today.”  
“Every time. If you need anything, let me know.”  
He stepped forward and hugged her.  
She kissed him on his cheek as goodbye.

 

When Scorpius entered the Dorm, Albus laid casually on his bed. He looked up.  
“Have you seen a ghost?”  
“What?” Scorpius asked perplexed.  
“You look pale...paler than usual.”  
“Oh. I’m just tired. It was a long day.”  
“Yeah … have you been shopping the whole day?”  
“Shopping?”  
“With Vic.”  
“Ehhh…right.”  
“Then where are your shopping bags? Didn’t you get me anything from Honey Duke’s?”  
“I forgot. Sorry. Only Vicci did some shopping.” He quickly lied.  
Albus raised an eyebrow. “Fine…” He decided not to ask any further.  
“Scorp, can we talk about something?” Albus voice grew more serious. It alarmed Scorpius.  
“Sure…” He sat down beside him on his bed.  
“The thing with Polly hit me harder than I wanted to admit. I’ve been thinking about her all day.” He started. “She was so nice. We had so much fun when we were together. I can’t believe that she pretended all of it. I mean she… she even slept with me. I can’t believe that she would do something like that only to get into my family.”  
“Well she almost got me killed for it… just like Delphi back then by the way. Merlin, Al, you have a terrible taste in women.” Scorpius added.  
Albus looked up guilty as if he had forgotten it for a blink of an eye.  
Then both laughed.  
“It’s fine, Albus. You don’t have to feel bad. I do understand that you can’t switch off your feelings so easily. If someone can understand that, it’s me.”  
Albus smiled weakly at him.  
Scorpius had never thought they would be able to reach that point in their friendship to talk openly about their feelings after all that happened.  
“There is something else I’ve been thinking about. Polly wanted to move together after Hogwarts and… I really do want to move out. Can’t imagine sharing a house with my dad.” Albus shook his head by that image.  
“Do you want to move together after our graduation?”  
It hit Scorpius unexpected. His expression revealed everything.  
“Well nothing much would change, right? We share a dorm and we could see each other regularly. And of course, you could bring home any guy and…”  
“STOP.” Scorpius was totally overburdened by that day’s happenings.  
Albus was immediately quiet.  
A heavy silence filled the room.  
“I guess that means no.” Albus figured.  
“No… I mean I don’t know IF it would be a good idea.”  
“I do understand why you don’t want that… after all that happened and the last thing I want, is to cause you even more hurt.”  
“Can I think about it?” Scorpius asked.  
“Sure.” Albus smiled. He put his head aside. “Need a hug?”  
Scorpius laughed a little.  
Albus pulled him into a hug fiercely. “You’re such an idiot sometimes.”  
Scorpius was just glad that everything turned out well between them and somehow, they were closer than ever before.


	15. Chapter 15

Scorpius laid awake in bed. He needed to focus on N.E.W.T.s! That topic should have been the ONLY thing in his head. Instead he imagined how it would be like to move together with Albus… OR with Teddy and Vicci. Another sleepless night…

“You’re sick?” Albus asked at breakfast after he had observed Scorpius closely.   
“No… I just don’t sleep very well lately.” Scorpius admitted. Had no idea how to survive that day. The dark cycles that were painted under his eyes colored in shades of violet from the lack of sleep.  
Albus looked even more concerned. “Just take one day off. Madame Pofrey will surly…”  
“I’ve already missed too much. We only have a few weeks left til our final exams and I’m slightly freaked out about that fact.” Scorpius voice reached a higher tone than usual.  
“Don’t tell me…” Albus buried a hand in his hair. “Dad goes on about it for ages. If I fail N.E.W.T.s as I failed O.W.L.s two years ago, he’s going to kill me… or worse: I’ve to repeat seventh year!” Albus said horrified. “But you’re way too good to mess it up.” Albus cheered his friend up.  
Scorpius didn’t answer.  
“Have you thought about moving in with me?” Albus changed the topic.  
“Ehmmm…. Not yet.” Scorpius bit his lip. “I just need some sleep and then I’ll think about it. I promise. It was just too much going on in the past few days…”  
Albus didn’t look happy but didn’t comment neither.   
“Listen, if you can’t sleep, go find Jacob Ward. He’s a Hufflepuff and in my Divination Class. He’s handled as the next Trelawney …”   
Albus sighed as he saw Scorpius pulling a face. “I know you think Divination is ridiculous…”  
“You just chose that class because you can interpret whatever you want, mix it with a little death-prophecy and then you’ll pass.” Scorpius rolled his eyes.  
“ANYWAY,..” Albus interrupted him slightly amused. “…he’s outstanding in Herbology, too. I know James got some “help” from him when he needed something to calm his nerves whenever the pressure before the Quidditch Matches became too overwhelming… “  
Scorpius looked surprised.   
“Don’t tell him I told you!” Albus said warning. “He’ll sure know a way how you get some peaceful sleep. And by the way he’s nothing like Trelawney.”   
“Sounds promising.” Scorpius admitted.  
“You’ll find him down by the lake at lunch. As far as I know, he’s never having lunch in the Great Hall.”

At lunch, Scorpius made his way down to the lake. It was a nice sunny day and it smelled like summer. It was easy to find Jacob. He laid dozing on a blanket alone under a huge tree. His cloak hung over a branch. He had messy brown curles and wore lots of rings and jewelries.   
“Ehhh… Hi…” Scorpius leaned over him.   
He blinked.   
“Hi.” He said surprised and sat up.  
Scorpius stared at him.  
“Can I help you?” He asked, frowning.  
“Yes… I’ve heard that you’re pretty good at Herbology and I’ve wondered if…if you have any idea how I can sleep a little bit better.”  
“Who told you to ask me?” He asked skeptically and a bit angry.  
Scorpius swallowed. “I know that you helped James Potter once or twice.”  
“James told you?” He said unbelieving.  
“Kind of…“ Scorpius said unsure.  
The boy just stared at him. He felt uncomfortable.   
“Sit down.” He said, still a little bit skeptical.   
Scorpius did as he was told.   
“I just don’t want too many people find out about my … well, let’s call it talent.”   
He searched in his bag for anything. He seemed to be with his head in the clouds.  
“Don’t worry I won’t tell.”   
As he finally found what he was searching, he smiled brightly and handed Scorpius a little package. “Two Teaspoons – not more!” He said dead serious. “Boil them with hot water and drink the tea half an hour before you go to bed.”  
Scorpius took it. “Thanks. What is the price?”  
He hesitated. “It’s fine… just don’t tell anybody you got it for free.”   
“Thanks…” Scorpius said perplexed. “I don’t want to sound ungrateful but why are you giving it to me for free? It must have been difficult to collect those leaves.”  
“Well, … I’ve heard what happened to you. I know it’s none of my business but is that the reason you can’t sleep?”   
“Maybe… partly…” Scorpius blushed.  
“I know we don’t really know each other but it made me really angry. That wasn’t fair and I’m truly sorry something like that happened to you.” He was upset.   
“Thanks.” Scorpius still didn’t look into his eyes. But he was glad he was understanding.  
“You probably don’t wanna talk about it. I shouldn’t have said anything.”   
“Actually, it’s good to hear something nice like that…” Scorpius cracked a smile.   
“You wanna eat lunch here?” He asked as she unpacked his food.  
Scorpius agreed.   
“You know… I can imagine that it’s hell to come out in Hogwarts.” He said by the way with his mouth full.   
Scorpius looked up a little bit overburdened.  
“Sorry, I know I’m not sensitive. People telling me that all the time.” He closed her eyes.  
“It’s ok… It’s just… People usually either ignore me or abuse me. There’s nothing in between.”  
“I wouldn’t have the courage to come out...” He said bitter.  
Did that mean he was gay, too?! Or was it just a theoretically statement. Scorpius wondered.  
“I wish it wasn’t such a big deal.” He smiled sadly. “I hate that people always talk behind someone’s back or how they never clearly say what they’re thinking…”  
Scorpius smiled. “I wouldn’t have expected that lunch would turn out like that.” 

They talked a bit more until the next lesson was about to start.   
“Oh, we’ll be late for class. I’ve Potion! And you?” Scorpius jumped up.  
“Charms.” He said but didn’t move an inch.  
“Aren’t you coming?”  
“Mmmhhh… I think I’ll enjoy that day a little longer.” He smirked.  
Scorpius didn’t get it.  
“Wanna skip with me?”   
Scorpius had never skipped classes.   
He laughed as she saw his facial expression. “Have fun in Potion then.”  
Scorpius hesitated. “Well… I think it’s fine if I miss Potion once.” He sat down again. “Albus will surly cover me up.”  
“I guess I’m a bad influence.” He said satisfied.  
“Are you two a couple?”  
Scorpius shook his head. “No.”   
“But you like him.”  
“Yes, but he doesn’t like me that way.”  
“I’m sorry. That sucks.” He said honestly. 

They both enjoyed the sun and the talking and Scorpius didn’t feel too bad about skipping the more time passed.  
“What are you going to do after Hogwarts?” Jacob asked.  
“I’ll work for a Publisher.” Scorpius explained everything about his work and told him about his internship and how much he loved books.  
“You’re quiet a geek.”   
“I guess.”  
“Are you moving to London then?”  
“That’s the thing…”   
He looked up surprised.   
“It’s a bit difficult to explain… Please promise not to tell anyone.” Somehow Scorpius knew he could trust her although they just met.   
He smiled. “I promise.”   
“I could either move together with Albus or … another friend.”   
“And with “friend” you mean?”  
“We don’t really do labels.”   
He laughed. “Ok. I get it.” He paused. “Hard decision.”  
“I think that’s the main reason I can’t sleep.” Scorpius admitted.  
He sat up, deep in his thoughts.  
“What is it?” Scorpius saw he was thinking about something. “Albus told me you’re outstanding in Divination. Can you see anything?” He asked excited.   
He looked at him partly amused, partly not knowing if he was seriously asking her that.  
He suddenly grabbed his hands. He jumped. “OH! I can see something.” He shouted overdramatically and imitated Professor Trelawney voice. He threw her hands in the air. “OH! Mr. Malfoy. I see great suffering!”  
He then just simply went back to his normal expression. “Yeah… it doesn’t quiet work like that.”  
Scorpius laughed, feeling the heat shooting into his cheeks.  
“But for a second you did believe me. I could see it in your eyes.”   
“I didn’t!” Scorpius protested. “But you did think of something, didn’t you?!” Scorpius asked way more serious now.  
“No… no…. just forget it. I was just thinking about a method I’m working on…. But that would definitely not be a good idea.”  
“Tell me about it!”  
He hesitated.   
“I’ve mixed some leaves and other stuff to force a vision.”  
“Great! Did it work?”   
“Yes…”  
“I’ll do it!”  
“No way I won’t let you!”  
“Why?”  
“As you probably heard, I’ve a talent for Divination. Plus, I’m open minded to visions. I had visions before - without forcing to create them. I’ve learned to handle them. It was a hard process though. It was the worst time of my life. It’s pretty naïve to think you can do it.”  
Scorpius now looked determined. He was Slytherin after all. “I’ll do it anyway.”  
He pulled a face. “Let’s be honest. You hate Divination. You quit in the middle of your third year!”  
“True… but that would be different, right?”  
He took a deep breath. “There are too many unknown factors: First, you don’t feel it; you’re not open to it. Second, everyone reacts differently. It also depends on your experiences. Did you have more than just a few negative events in your life? I mean haunting happenings?”  
Scorpius thought about that question. His mother died when he was thirteen, the time travel disaster in his fourth year, Albus rejection last year, Teddy letting him down when he most needed him and then the fight with Polly Chapman’s group lately. That was undoubtable a lot.  
“Thought so.” He could read his expression.  
“Look, the more negative experiences you had in your life, the more likely you’ll see anything else but NOT your future vision.” He explained. “Plus, I have only tested it a few times on myself. It’s not representative.”   
“I want to try it!” He said determined.   
He looked concerned and unconvinced.   
“You can take my results for your studies.” He proposed.   
“I don’t know…”  
“Please! My life is pretty messed up. I can’t make another wrong step. We’re all grown up and I can decide for myself. You’re not responsible for what happens to me.”  
He took a deep breath. “It’s not that easy.”  
“I’m not afraid. I can do it and I promise to be open minded!”   
He cracked a smile. “Fine. But that will cost you an essay in Magical History!”  
“Deal!”  
“I’ll prepare everything. But I’m still not fully convinced! How about we meet tonight? Eastwing, Attic.”   
“The Divination Cass Room? Isn’t that bit too clichéd?” Scorpius raised an eyebrow.  
“So, at least you do remember. I have my reasons.” He smirked.  
“I’ll be there.”

 

Scorpius was tiered as hell as he made his way up to the Attic. It was past 10 pm. He should have taken a nap. He had intended to sleep after classes. He really tried. But he couldn’t.   
In a few moments his future would lie right in front of him. And then, he would FINALLY know what do. He would make the right decision. He was open to see his future and he was a hundred percent sure the vision would work.  
He climbed up the last stairs. He hadn’t been in that classroom for ages. He immediately remembered the smell. It smelled liked cheap joss sticks. He hated it. It caused him headache. He looked around. Uncountable pillows were placed in the corner of the room. In the middle of them lay Jacob, totally lost in his thoughts. He smoked and simply stared at the ceiling.   
Scorpius was unsure what to do. He cleared his throat.   
Jacob turned his head and smiled. He slowly sat up.  
“You came.”  
“You sound surprised.”  
“Well,… I guess I am.”   
Scorpius pulled a face. Wasn’t he trustworthy? He walked over and sat down beside him in the mountain of pillows.   
“Soooo… How does it work?”   
Jacob handed him the cigarette.   
Scorpius hesitated but took it. He took a drag and immediately coughed. That wasn’t a usual cigarette.   
Jacob laughed.   
“Is that how you force those visions?”   
“Haha. No. At least not those future visions. It will make you feel more relaxed.”   
“Aha.” Scorpius frowned. He took another drag and let himself fall in his pillow. He looked up at the ceiling as well. It was painted in different colors. He never noticed that.  
“Then… how does it work?” Scorpius asked sleepily.   
“Scorpius.” Jacob said serious now and his voice was dark and raspy.   
Scorpius turned his head. To his surprise Jacob had shifted to the side, now facing Scorpius. He was only an inch away.   
Scorpius inhaled sharply. What was happening?  
“Listen.” He said in a tone that made Scorpius shiver.  
“That was a stupid idea. Truth is: It won’t work. You’ll end up getting hurt. I can’t help you with your future.”  
“Why don’t you want to help me?” Scorpius was lost in his incredibly blue eyes.   
“Because I like you.” The words echoed in Scorpius head.   
Jacob’s eyes were magnetic.   
“Why did you make me come then?” It was not more than a whisper now.  
“Because I like you.” In that very moment he leaned forward, and Scorpius closed his eyes.   
His lips were soft. Scorpius just realized how much he had misses that feeling. A second later he realized that this kiss was not rudimental comparable to Teddy’s or Albus one kiss. It was like kissing that random guy in the club on purpose. He opened his mouth and leaned forward. The other guy cupped his cheek in his hand. Scorpius pulled him closer and then rolled on top of him.   
Jacob smirked.  
“What?” Scorpius smirked as well.   
“I haven’t expected that you would react like that.”  
“I’d rather not talk right now.”   
Scorpius was ready to give in. Maybe too quick. He was quiet aware of that, but for now he was going to enjoy it. He was so sick of overthinking things. It never changed anything. Sure, it wasn’t right. But Scorpius had lost his sense of wrong and right.  
He kissed the handsome boy underneath him again.  
“Wait.” He said under his breath.   
Scorpius broke the kiss.  
“No one will know about this.” Jacob said certain.  
That wasn’t very surprising to Scorpius.   
“And just to be clear: I don’t do boyfriends. This is just sex for me. I’m not gay.”   
“Sure.”   
Scorpius didn’t bother. They just met today. He didn’t intend to date him either. His love life was way too complicated anyway. Just sex would work for him perfectly fine. He could think about any consequences later. That – right now – right here – was simple. It was about sex and fun and not about stupid emotions that would get in his way. For now, he would enjoy it. He was certain he could handle it.   
“Is that all?” Scorpius raised his eyebrows.  
Jacobs look changed from surprised to longing. He slowly nodded.   
“Good.” Scorpius pressed his lips on the other boy’s mouth.

 

Scorpius entered the Slytherin Common Room. He couldn’t deny he felt a shimmer of guilt for his low self-esteem. But on the other hand, people had sex all the time. He wasn’t in a relationship. Not a real one. There was no reason to feel ashamed like that, right?! Most of all, he was tired. What time was it anyway?  
“Scorpius!” A familiar voice sounded through the empty Common Room. The fire in the chimney was almost dead.   
Scorpius looked up at Albus who had put his head aside and gave him the cutest look. He sat there on the couch, legs crossed and reading.   
“Where in Dumbledore’s name have you been?”   
Scorpius slowly walked over and sat down beside him. He rested his head in Albus’ shoulder.  
Albus grew more alarmed and put his arms around his friend as a matter of course. Scorpius felt safe in Albus’ arms.   
“I’ve done something stupid.” He said quiet.   
Albus drew small cycles on Scorpius arm and rested his chin on his head.   
Why couldn’t they just stay like that forever? Scorpius wondered. Why was it too much to ask for? And then – suddenly – Scorpius became aware why he had been sleeping with that almost unknown guy: He STILL desperately searched for ways to compensate Albus’ rejection. Yes, it was the unhealthiest way he could think of. He acted self-destructing. Anyway, he didn’t know how to deal with his love and desire for Albus in any other way.   
He noticed he started sobbing.   
“Scorp…You’re scaring me.”   
“I’ve slept with Jacob.” He informed Albus as if he told him something about the latest homework.   
“Jacob Ward?” Albus asked perplexed.  
Scorpius just nodded. He knew quiet well what reaction he hoped to get from Albus.  
“Did he hurt you?” He now asked as if he was ready to kill him if this was the case.   
It made Scorpius feel some kind of happiness swell up in his chest.   
He shook his head. “No. I wanted it. It just happened.”   
The tension left Albus body. Scorpius knew quiet well that he didn’t make sense.   
They just sat there a bit longer.  
“I’m so terribly tired.” Scorpius said after a while.   
“Did you get the sleeping leaves?” Albus asked.   
Scorpius pulled out a small package and handed it over.   
“Wait here for me. I’ll make you the tea. I’ve done that for James several times.”   
Albus carefully placed Scorpius on the couch. He knew that it didn’t make sense to talk to Scorpius now. Scorpius thankfully lay down. Then Albus disappeared into the kitchen.  
After a while he came back with the tea in his hands and some sweets. He smiled at him.   
“Here.” He handed him the cup and the chocolate.   
“Thanks.” Scorpius looked down and drank.   
“I love you.” Scorpius said quiet but didn’t look at him.  
“Love you, too.” Albus said after a small pause.   
Both knew they didn’t mean the same thing, though it made Scorpius happy.  
Albus covered him with a blanket and pulled his friend back into a hug.   
“Wanna talk about it now?” Albus asked.  
“It was just sex.” Scorpius pulled the blanket up under his chin.   
“Who would have guessed, that you’d be the one of the two of us with the awesome sex life…” Albus said sarcastically.   
“Yeah… unless it’s far from awesome.”   
“Was it so bad?” Albus asked.  
“No… no actually it was pretty good.” Scorpius smiled, but it dropped immediately. “But I shouldn’t have done it.”  
“Why do you regret it?”  
“Honestly… I don’t know anything anymore. I don’t know if I have a boyfriend or if I’m in a serious relationship. Even now, that I could have it, I don’t know if I want it anymore. There was a time, I wanted nothing more than to be his boyfriend. I was asked to move in with him after Hogwarts on the same day when you asked me to move in with you.”  
“And still you won’t tell me who your boyfriend is?!” It wasn’t meant accusing, rather teasing.   
“Told you he isn’t my boyfriend...”  
“So, when we’ll you tell me who he is? When you’re married?”  
“Albus…” Scorpius groaned. “This is complicated enough.”  
“Ok. Promise me just ONE thing.”  
Scorpius looked up. “What?”  
“IF you decide to make that mysterious guy your boyfriend, you need to tell me who it is. I want to meet him. I’m dying of curiosity.”   
He couldn’t blame Albus.  
“Ok.” Scorpius had no idea how to tell him if that point in time was going to come.   
“Why don’t you want him as boyfriend anymore?”  
“Albus I’m really tired. Can we talk tomorrow?”  
“Sure.”  
Both got up.  
“Scorp, just one more thing. If you want to move in with that guy, don’t worry about me. I’ll be fine on my own and I’ll probably don’t move far from wherever you are.” He chuckled.   
“Ehhh… that would be nice. But I’m still not sure what to do.”   
Albus put an arm around him and let him up in their dormitory.   
“Listen, if you want to try moving in with him, do it! If it doesn’t work for you, we can still move together. How does that sound? You don’t have to decide now. You have time til summer.”  
Was it that simple? Scorpius had the feeling he didn’t deserve that, but he immediately felt some relief by Albus back-up-plan.   
“Thanks, Albus.” Scorpius smiled. He let himself fall into his bed and immediately fell asleep. 

It was the first night in weeks, that Scorpius didn’t feel exhausted when he woke up the next morning.   
Scorpius noticed that everyone was gone already. He looked at his side. Albus had written him a note:  
“I decided you needed sleep more than your beloved History Class, so I didn’t wake you. I’ll tell Professor Bims you’re sick. No complaining! You’ll catch up with the other classes. You always do. See you at lunch. Albus.”  
Scorpius let himself fall back into his pillows. Maybe not everything was just awful… He turned his head. What time was it? Almost lunch time. He got up and showered. He should have done that last night right away.   
Then he went down into the Great Hall. Students slowly filled the empty hall. Scorpius scanned the entrance to see if he could spot Albus somewhere in the crowed. Jacob entered. Scorpius quickly looked down by remembering last night. Didn’t that guy just informed him a day ago that he never attended lunch in the Great Hall?! As he was sure, he settled at the Hufflepuff table, he again searched for Albus.  
Albus entered and immediately smiled as he saw Scorpius sitting there, obviously being well.  
“Be glad you missed Charms.” Albus groaned. “I hate that class so much. Why do we have to share it with those Ravenclaws? They are all brilliant.”   
Scorpius knew that Albus was performing awfully in Charms. Plus, the Ravenclaws of their year were outstanding. None of the teachers ever got tired to stress that fact. Ravenclaw even won the House Cup four of seven years since Albus and Scorpius attempted Hogwarts.   
“True.” Scorpius sight.   
Albus filled him in on the details about Charms as suddenly a small paper owl landed in front of Scorpius.   
“From whom is it?” Albus asked by the way while he ate his lunch way too quick and at the same time scribbled the last lines for his essay which he was supposed to hand in today.   
Scorpius blushed. “It’s from Jacob.”  
“What does he want?” Albus’ essay was forgotten.   
Scorpius handed him the note and Albus read:   
“Scorpius,   
last night I was the one who didn’t find any peaceful sleep. I admit, I wouldn’t have expected you to be like that. It was supposed to be a one-time thing but, I wouldn’t mind repeating last night. Still, the same rules apply: no one will know about this! And this is just about sex. No feelings. If you agree, meet me tonight. Same time, same place.   
J.  
P.S.: You blow fucking awesome.”  
Albus mouth fell open. “You let me read this?!”  
Scorpius looked confused. “You asked to read it.”  
“You never talk about the details of your sex life.”  
“I don’t talk about Ted…” Scorpius swallowed as he almost spilled out Teddy’s name. Focus! He instructed himself. “… about sex with that guy… but that doesn’t mean we can’t talk about sex.”  
Albus stared at him unbelievingly.   
Did Albus figure he meant Teddy?! Scorpius panicked.  
“What will you do?”   
Scorpius bit his lip.   
“Wait. You seriously contemplate that deal?” Albus asked shocked.  
Scorpius looked at him accusing. “Will you judging me, if I do?”  
“Ehh… no. No! I just didn’t think…”   
Albus was cut off by Scorpius look.   
“I mean I wouldn’t have guessed that this is what you want. Last night you made pretty clear that you saw it as a mistake!”  
Scorpius poked in his food. Albus was right.  
“He’s hot. Aaaaaand … as long as there are no emotions involved, it will work for me. I think.” Scorpius wasn’t sure if he meant it.   
Albus stared at him as if he was a puzzle and he didn’t know how to put it back together.  
“I just don’t want you to get hurt. That’s all.”  
“I know.” Scorpius said appreciating.  
“Meaningless sex is probably the best that could happen to me now.” Scorpius sighed.  
“I wish I was the one who could say that.” Albus said grimy.  
Both laughed. 

After lunch they made their way down to Potion.   
“No honestly, I don’t get it… “ Albus suddenly addressed Scorpius.   
Scorpius looked at him. “What?”  
“I thought you like him.”  
“Who Jacob?!” Scorpius frowned.  
“No.” Albus rolled his eyes. “Can’t you at least tell me his name… I mean your whatever-boyfriend’s.”  
“Oh.” Scorpius looked down. “I do like him.” He said quiet.  
“Then wouldn’t it be like cheating if you slept with Jacob?”  
“Only if I were in a relationship.”  
“So, you don’t want a relationship, although you have a crush on him since forever?”  
“Told you it’s complicated.” Scorpius walked faster to escape the conversation, but Albus held him back.  
“Oh no!” He pulled him into the kitchen corridor and they hid in a doorframe til every student was in class.  
“We’ll be late.” Scorpius said annoyed.   
“No. We won’t actually go at all. I won’t let you mess up your chance to be happy. Come on.”  
Both boys went into the Slytherin Common Room. It was empty.  
“Talk.” Albus crossed his arms.   
Scorpius kept quiet.  
Albus walked around the room while Scorpius remained seated on the couch.  
“Who is he? Why can’t you tell me? I mean you just told me details about sex with Jacob. I always thought you never brought that topic up because you felt uncomfortable talking about it or rather talking to ME about it, but obviously that’s not it. It’s that guy. You never told me anything about him although you apparently spend so fucking much time together. So, he either is someone you know from your internship … which you already denied OR it’s someone I know.” Albus figured.  
All color left Scorpius face. He was an awful liar.  
“Merlin.” Albus groaned. “So that’s it?!?!”   
Scorpius stared at him blankly.  
“Why do you think you can’t tell me?”  
“I promised him.” Scorpius buried his hands in his hair.  
Albus now sat down beside Scorpius.  
“Is it Louis?”  
“Stop asking! I won’t tell you.” Scorpius pressed a hand on his eyes.  
“Oh fuck…” Albus stared at Scorpius. “It’s James!”  
If this wasn’t a serious talk, Scorpius would have busted into laughter.  
“Yes, Albus. It’s James.” Scorpius said dry.  
Albus didn’t hear the sarcasm in his voice.  
“Nooo way!” Albus mouth dropped.  
Scorpius rolled his eyes. “It’s not him… of course. And now stop asking!” He insisted.  
“So, I’m getting closer to the answer.” Albus smirked.   
No wonder Albus was in Slytherin, Scorpius knew he was one of the most determined persons in their year, and he was in deed getting closer to fining out about his secret. So he needed to give Albus something else:  
“I... I’ll tell you some things, but I won’t tell you his name.”  
Albus sighted. “I’m listening.”  
“He was there for me when you told me that you didn’t want to be together with me. Retrospective, I think he used my vulnerability back then and we had sex that night. It was supposed to be a one-time-thing, but we exchanged letters and during my internship we met regularly. We slept together several times. He’s much more experienced and it started to be fun. But it was not only about sex. We did a lot of boyfriend stuff and before I knew it, I fell in love with him. Much later, he confessed that he fell in love with me as well.”  
“Sound like a happy end.”  
“… it’s not. He’s in a relationship. That’s all I can tell you. Now you can figure out on your own why it is so damn complicated.”  
Albus eyes grew huge. “But I thought he offered you to move in with him.”  
“Yeahhh… but he won’t break up.” Well that wasn’t the whole truth, but Scorpius wasn’t sure how much Albus could handle.  
Albus frowned. “Whoever it is … I’m so gonna…” He was in rage.  
“Anyway… it won’t work.” Scorpius interrupted Albus. “I won’t do it. I slept with Jacob. It’s too late. I guess unconsciously I already decided what to do.”  
“Are you sure?”  
Scorpius bit his lip and quickly nodded. He already told Albus far too much.


	16. Chapter 16

Several weeks later:  
“Mr. Malfoy?” Professor Slughorn went through the attendance list.  
Albus looked at the empty seat beside him and bit his lip.  
He raised a hand. “Ehhh…. Scorpius didn’t feel well. He headed to the see Madame Pomfrey.”  
“Ah I see.” Slughorn never questions any student’s absence, but meanwhile Scorpius skipped so many classes that Albus found it hard to find reasonable excuses for his best friend.   
Albus sat in the back row so that he won’t catch too much attention. He saw a small paper spider climb up his desk. He opened the little note. It was from Rose. She sat right in front of Slughorn’s desk, just as in any class.   
“What’s up with Malfoy lately?”  
Albus frowned. Even she noticed.  
“None of your business. Don’t stick your nose in everyone’s business.” He quickly scribbled.   
He was annoyed that she always acted as a saint. She didn’t talk to them in seven years, so why would she start now? Yes of course, she was right that something went awfully wrong but Albus was Scorpius’ closest friend and he was there for him. Neither he nor Scorpius needed Rose to solve any of their problems.   
As the note reached her, she turned around and gave him a death glance. 

After Potion she caught up to her cousin who was quickly walking down the corridor in the direction of his dorm.  
“Al, wait!” Rose insisted.  
Albus rolled his eyes and kept walking, pretending he didn’t hear her calling.  
“Albus Severus Potter!” She cast a spell which stopped Albus from walking.   
“Rose. Why do you always have to overdo it?!” Albus said angry and she undid the spell.  
“In what trouble are you two again?”  
“I know you think you are the center of the universe but first, we are not in any trouble. Second, it’s none of your fucking business. Now leave me alone.”  
“You know, I freaked out at the beginning of the year that it won’t be me who will graduate as class winner at the end of our school time. I feared it was Scorpius.” She ignored Albus attempts to stop her.  
Albus didn’t expect such an answer.   
“By now I’m pretty sure it’s nothing I need to worry about anymore.” She said concerned.   
Albus kept quiet. He knew she had a point.  
“Al, whatever it is. I know you are close friends. Sometimes you don’t see… changes as soon as people on the outside. That’s what I mean. And there are clear changes in his behavior … alarming changes.”  
As if he wasn’t worry… He pulled himself together.  
“Thanks Rose. I appreciate your honesty but there is no need for you to get involved.” Albus tried not to reveal HOW worry he was.  
“Fine. But if you need help… or if Scorpius needs help, I’m right here.” She said dissatisfied and left.

Albus entered his dorm in rage. He was already late for the next class and Professor McGonagall would definitely not let him get away as easily as Slughorn.   
He slammed the door open.   
“Revelio!” He shouted on his way in.  
“Merlin, Albus! You almost gave me heart attack.” Scorpius said sleepy and rubbed his eyes.   
Scorpius lay in his bed naked, partly covered with a blanket. Next to him lay Jacob sleeping like stone. Scorpius took the last drag of Jacob’s cigarette.   
Albus went over to the window and opened it.  
“The whole dorm smells like weed.” Albus said annoyed.   
By now that was just a usual Wednesday noon.  
“Scorp, get dressed. McGonagall will kill you if you miss Transfiguration again.”  
“Why are you mad?”   
“BECAUSE… I just can’t find any more excuses for you and on top, I had a really annoying conversation with Rose about you. She wanted to know what the fuck is wrong with you! And you know how I hate talking to her.”  
Scorpius crawled out of bed and got dressed, leaving Jacob disregarded in his bed. The boy didn’t even move an inch.   
“Is he dead?” Albus asked dry.  
“Haha. Very funny.” Scorpius rolled his eyes. It wasn’t a secret that Albus didn’t like him at all.  
He quickly grabbed his bag and followed Albus out.  
“Where are you going?” Scorpius asked perplex as Albus didn’t take the staircase to the Transfiguration Classroom.   
“We need to talk.” He said determined and went out of the castle.  
Scorpius followed in silence down to the lake.  
“My own life is a mess right now. I still have like dinosaur big father issues. And yes, I know, I bore you to death with that topic but it’s still a fucking part of my life. And I still deal with Polly’s betrayal. Honestly, I do find it scaring that apparently all my feelings are exclusively owned by crazy girls… don’t need to mention Delphi.” Albus sighed heavy.   
It was true: Scorpius had forgotten that Albus was pretty messed up himself. Actually, always was. Maybe that’s why they had become friends in the first place.  
“Anyway, the last thing I need is you acting like that. I just don’t get it! Why are you spending so much time with that loser and get high whenever possible? I mean you don’t even like him. I would be more than grateful if you explain your behavior to me. I don’t know who you are anymore.”  
Albus pulled him closer to the lake. “Merlin, just look at you.” He pointed at Scorpius’ reflection in the lake.   
Scorpius hair was messy. His school uniform was crinkled, and his tie hang loose around his neck. His eyes were red and dark shadows underlined them. Nothing reminded of the boy who strive for perfection in his life. He was a wreck.   
“You were supposed to graduate as fucking nerd of the year. You even beat Rose in the last exams. And now you probably hardly even graduate at all.”  
Scorpius kept staring at his reflection in silence.   
Albus took a deep breath and collected his thoughts.   
“Look, you know what keeps me going? Even if I find it hard to find a good reason to get up in the morning? I think that – nothing – is going to be as worse as school. Yeah…right… I’ve no idea what I’m supposed to do with my life, but whatever it is, whatever I’ll try, I’m pretty sure it will be better than Hogwarts. But you… you already have a job. A job you actually love. And you didn’t stop talking about the people who work there for ages. You have a future. So, WHAT THE FUCK happened?!?!”   
Albus was desperate.   
Scorpius was like in trance and still starring into the calm water.   
“For Dumbledore’s sake, have you actually listened to one word I said, or are you still high on Jacob’s mix?”   
Albus was caring about Scorpius and he knew he was right with every word he said.   
Albus stepped forward and took his arms to shake him violently.   
“Scorpius!”   
“I just…” Scorpius whispered. “Do you sometimes realized that so much time has passed but you actually can’t remember how that happened.”  
Albus gave him a confused look.   
Scorpius realized that this wasn’t the answer Albus wanted to hear. He swallowed.   
“I’ll pull myself together… I promise.” Scorpius gave him a fake smile.  
Albus sighed. “Why can’t you talk to me?”   
Scorpius turned his face away from his best friend. “I can’t really explain it myself, ok?!”   
He paused for quiet a while and Albus patiently waited for him to continue.   
“I somehow thought that everything would be different when we leave Hogwarts… that’s not what I wanted.”  
“What is it that you want?” Albus asked empathically.  
“I don’t know… I’ve made some pretty bad decisions and I just don’t want to make another one.”  
Albus frowned.  
“But you do realize that doing nothing IS already a decision. And doing nothing with Jacob is an even worse decision.”   
Scorpius bit his lip.   
“He isn’t that … you know…”   
“No, I don’t know!”  
“I mean he’s nice.”  
“Wow.” Albus raised an eyebrow. “You spent the last weeks with that guy and the one thing that comes to your mind is: he’s nice?”   
Scorpius felt caught.  
“You don’t understand. He isn’t trouble. He is just there. There is no pressure, there are no feelings involved and that means there will be no regret and no disappointment and no hurt.” Scorpius got angry.   
“First, I do know too well how you feel. But even if you call me stupid or naïve, I do believe that getting the chance to feel something real is worth the risk of being hurt. Second, you use him.”  
That hit Scorpius.  
“What? No, I don’t. We drew a clear line. We have a deal.”  
“Obviously that didn’t work. Jacob is madly in love with you. He’d do anything for you. How can you be so blind?”  
“Well, but I don’t feel anything for him.”  
“How shocking.” Albus said ironically. “That doesn’t give you the right to mess with his feelings.”  
Scorpius didn’t know how to respond to that.   
Albus buried his hands in his messy hair in desperation.   
“I won’t tell you what to do. Everyone is responsible himself for messing up his life and I’m very good myself. I don’t have any advices. Maybe you should ask Rose. She has a shiny future and always does the right thing.” Albus said moody.   
“Albus…” Scorpius felt bad but his voice broke.  
“I don’t get it. Everything you wanted is within reach. You have that awesome job. And you could have had that boyfriend and move in with him. All you needed to do was to say yes and continue being you. Read all day, lecture me about Magical History and write love letters to your mysterious boyfriend. It could have been so easy. But you broke up with him and stopped attending classes. Instead you get high on drugs and fuck that loser. I don’t need to be an expert to see that you are far from happy with your decision.”  
“And now you think you know everything?” Scorpius shook his head.   
“No! I just know you!” Albus shouted.  
“Well, I’m not that person anymore.” Scorpius said suppressing his anger. He turned around and walked up the hill towards the castle.  
Usually it was Albus who bolted.   
Albus didn’t follow him. 

 

They didn’t talk the next few days.   
Scorpius attended classes … more or less. Physically. But for now, that was all Albus wished for.   
On Saturday morning, Albus acted as if nothing happened. He convinced his best friend to go out. It was Hogsmeade weekend and their best chance to escape these castle halls. Scorpius appreciated Albus move and he was willing to have some fun.  
“We could go to that café Vicci showed you. You said the cinnamon rolls are beyond soft. I’m thrilled to taste them ever since you first mentioned it.”  
“You know I can never say no to sweets.” Scorpius smiled.   
They walked down the small side street.   
“It’s right behind the corner.” Scorpius pointed to his right.   
As they got closer, Scorpius stopped abruptly. A man stood in front of the café with his arms crossed and obviously waited for them because he wasn’t surprised at all to see the two boys. He looked serious.   
Scorpius directly turned to Albus in shock.  
“Did you set this up?” He asked breathless.   
He didn’t intend to see Teddy ever again. And what was worse: Did Albus know? Did Albus figured out that Scorpius was in love with Teddy? Or was he just here because Albus considered Teddy as trustworthy?  
“Oh, come on, don’t be mad, Scorp. Please. I just didn’t know what to do. I thought that Teddy could probably give you better advices or maybe you can tell him things, you can’t tell me. Don’t look so judging! If I was Rose, I would have written your father right away. My way isn’t rudimentary that awful. You two are friends, aren’t you?!”   
“What have you written him?” All color left Scorpius face.  
Albus swallowed.  
“Ehhh… the truth… that I’m worried about you and…”  
“And what?”  
“…aaaaaand practically everything.” Albus expected that he was hit any second.  
“Come on.” He quickly pulled on the blond boy’s arm before he could run off.   
“Hi.” Albus waved and grinned at Teddy.   
Teddy slowly walked towards them.  
“Hi.” Teddy shortly greeted Albus. Then he turned towards Scorpius. “Hi, Scorpius.” He said way softer.  
“Hi.” Scorpius stared at the ground.  
“So, I guess Albus didn’t mention we meet here.”  
“Yeahhh…. Sorry about that.” Albus awkwardly laughed and rubbed the back of his head.   
He had written Teddy that Scorpius agreed meeting him. Of course, Albus had no clue that Teddy was Scorpius’ secret. That he was the one he had fallen in love and almost moved in with.  
Teddy sighed deeply in frustration.  
“You wanna grab a cup of chocolate, now that we are here anyway?” Teddy asked a little bit forced and visibly annoyed by Albus’ trap.  
Albus stared at Scorpius. He hesitated but nodded. “Ok. Fine.”   
They went inside, but Albus wasn’t following them in.   
“Wait! Where are you going?” Scorpius panicked.  
“Oh. I’ve to get some stuff… See you back in the Common Room.” Before Scorpius could even drag him back in, Albus was gone.  
Scorpius whole body tensed. He felt dizzy. He cursed his heart for beating so damn heavy against his chest that he couldn’t focus.   
They settled at a small table for two in the back of the café.  
Teddy casually leaned on the edge of the table and observed the boy in front of him.  
Scorpius crossed his arms and leaned back against his chair. To cover up his nervousness he took the menu and pretended he was reading.   
“Just you know: this is awkward for me, too.” Teddy sighed and pulled the menu out of Scorpius grip.   
“You already know what you want.” He simply said and looked at the list of sweets.  
Scorpius wondered if he intended the ambiguity.  
“No, I don’t.” Scorpius pulled the menu back out of his hands. “I have no idea.” He played Teddy’s game.  
Teddy smirked.   
So, Scorpius was right: this was not about sweets.  
“You remember our date in that small café in London after that really crazy party?”   
Now Scorpius looked up, still covering most part of his face with the card.   
“I had searched for hours that night. I found you sleeping in that Muggle café.” He smiled lost in his thoughts.  
“It wasn’t a date. You said it yourself.” Scorpius said dry and focused back on what was right in front of him.  
Teddy sighed again.   
They ordered and Scorpius took exactly what he intended to take from the beginning.  
“Chocolate and a Cinnamon Roll for me.”  
Teddy smiled.  
“What he said.”   
Scorpius looked at him and could only smile. Whatever kind of wall he had built up inside him, Teddy had already started to tear it down.  
“How have you been?” Teddy asked already knowing that his question forced Scorpius out of his comfort zone.   
“Fantastic.” He said dry. “Why do you ask? Albus had probably written you all the details of my pretty messed up life.”  
There they were again: After weeks of silence, it felt like they were close as ever. Scorpius knew that honesty was Teddy’s highest value. And he, too, saw it that way. Even if it hurt, he didn’t see any sense in lying to make anyone feel more comfortable. And with Teddy it was easy. Not that it was easy at all.  
“I would like to hear it from you. That’s why I’m here. How are you?”  
Scorpius looked down.  
“I dunno…” He searched for anything that would come near his feeling. “…kinda distracted?” It was rather a question.  
“Albus wrote me that you drive him insane. You’ve gotten careless about yourself and about school. You are two weeks before your N.E.W.T’s. You are supposed to drown in books in parchments. Instead you lock yourself away and get fucked by Jacob Ward.” He said derogatory.   
Scorpius was going to kill Albus.  
Teddy paused. He looked like he wanted to take back what he just said.   
“You are throwing away your future.” He said way softer. “And I am worried about you, too.”   
Now Scorpius felt low. He didn’t want to feel like that. He didn’t say anything.  
“You didn’t answer any of my letter… or Vicci’s. You know after that talk you had with her…” He paused and pressed his fingers on his eyes. He took a deep breath.  
“I’m sure it must have been confusing, and we should have never asked you. We were just so convinced about that idea because it felt like you feel the same way…”   
Obviously, it was hard for Teddy to talk about that. Scorpius slowly understood that he blamed himself and Vicci for his behavior.  
“I just thought… I would have hoped you answered a single letter after we offered you to move in with us. Have you actually read them? Or was that revenge for the time when I ignored you?” Teddy asked uncomprehending.  
Scorpius needed to say it. There was no better time and no other way. He swallowed.  
“I’ve read every letter from you… the both of you.” He shook his head. “It wasn’t about that talk I had with Vicci. And it wasn’t revenge either… I haven’t actually thought about that at all.” He forced himself to look at Teddy.  
“The thing is… I… I slept with Jacob.”   
Teddy stared at him puzzled. “I know. Albus had written me.”  
“I mean I slept with him and I can’t really explain why. Our first time was only a few days after the talk. And Albus asked me to move in with him and then I met Jacob and he didn’t expect anything from me and it just happened and I hate myself for giving in. And it’s not like I didn’t contemplate your offer. I… I actually wanted it. And deep down I did already want it when I first kissed Jacob. But I did it anyway. What does that make me?!” He was disgusted by himself. “I just couldn’t tell you what I had done but I couldn’t lie to you either. So, I just didn’t respond at all. But it killed me, because you both were so sweet and loving and caring and I just hated myself even more. And you seem to try even harder and all I wanted was to write you that I want to be with you. I can’t think of anything else. But how could I after what I’ve done?”   
Scorpius hadn’t even noticed the waiter who brought their order.   
He felt like he was burning inside. It just hurt and he felt sick.  
“I couldn’t tell Albus. I wanted to tell him so badly, but I had promised you not to. And then Jacob mixed all those weeds and leaves and stuff, and he told me it would make me feel better, but it actually just numbed the pain. I know that was the most stupid thing, but I… just didn’t know what else to do.”  
Now that Scorpius said it aloud, he realized that he had the answers all along, but fist understood it now.   
Also, Teddy had forgotten about his order. He stared at Scorpius, his expression unreadable.   
“I could understand if you hate me now.” Scorpius looked down.  
He didn’t get an answer. Teddy remained in his position as he was cursed.   
“Could… could you please say anything?” Even if he was yelled at or even if Teddy decided to leave - everything was better than silence. It was like torture.  
“You … you would have wanted that?” Teddy asked in a light shock.  
Scorpius couldn’t quiet follow. He frowned.  
Teddy collected his thoughts.   
“You could have written us!”   
Now Teddy got up and went over. He took a chair and sat down right next to him.   
“You’ve made a mistake and yes, I’m not massively happy that you … well, took the first opportunity to get fucked by such a … ah, never mind.” It got under Teddy’s skin, Scorpius could see it.  
“I guess we should talk about that. But right now, I want you to know, that I still want you in my life, we both do. I love you, Scorpius. And not knowing what made you act so distant really freaked me out. Just… always tell me if anything is wrong, ok?!”  
Scorpius tried to focus which was really hard with Teddy so close.   
Teddy faced the younger boy with an intense look. “Could you still imagine moving in with us after all that happened?”   
Was Teddy really asking that?! Scorpius felt dizzy from the feeling of drowning to flying.  
Especially after the time he spent with Jacob, Scorpius was a hundred percent sure that he wanted something different. That superficial relationship was excluding any emotions. But he needed to be loved and he wanted nothing more. He learned to appreciate what he actually had with Teddy and what he could have with Vic.  
He looked at Teddy. He could read that he needed to hear him say those words.  
“I… would really really like to move in with you.”   
As Scorpius finally said what he wanted to say for such a long time he felt relieved but also a little bit lost.   
Teddy inhaled deeply and took the other boy’s hand. He smiled. He was truly happy. Scorpius stared into his eyes. They seem to be as deep as the ocean. He slowly leaned forward and closed his eyes. Lips softly pressed together. It was a kiss filled with pure emotions and love. After kissing Jacob numbly uncountable times, this felt like being high and whole at once. It felt right. They parted. Scorpius pulled Teddy into a hug.  
“I’ve missed you so much.” He kissed his shoulder and enjoyed the smell that made him feel home.   
Teddy hugged him tightly and kissed his head.  
“Yeah. I missed you, too.”  
They stayed like that for quiet a while. They didn’t care that they earned looks and whispers by the mostly old wizards and witches. Hogwarts students didn’t come here anyway.   
“Can I eat my Cinnamon Roll now?” Scorpius chuckled and parted from Teddy.  
“Sorry, I didn’t mean to come between you two.”   
The rest of the day they talked about all kinds of stuff and enjoyed Hogsmeade. It was simple but Scorpius realized that he didn’t need anything else. It made him happy and he didn’t feel real happiness in a very long time. 

As they stood in front of the gates of Hogwarts, the sun was already setting.  
“Two more weeks. You can still catch up.” Teddy said comforting.  
“I’m slightly panicking.” He said in high tone.   
“You’ll be fine.”  
“I’ll immediately grab my Charms book and work through the last six chapters… well, right after I talked to Albus … and quit the deal with Jacob.” Scorpius really had good reasons to panic.  
Teddy laughed and pulled him into a hug.  
“Write me.” He whispered. “I love you.” He shortly kissed his head and stepped back.   
“See you in two weeks.” He smirked and then apparated.


End file.
